


3 1 7

by Elihue



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blindfolds, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Canon Era, Clubbing, Dancing, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Eren is adorable and beautiful and I want to squeeze him, Eruriren Week, Established Relationship, Fights, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, First Time Topping, Jealousy, M/M, Modern Era, OT3, Other, Past Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Possessive Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Post-Break Up, Pre-OT3, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M, first everything really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-15 09:02:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 43,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3441347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elihue/pseuds/Elihue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A (super late) submission for Eruriren Week 2015 on tumblr. Each chapter stands alone, so no worries about cliffhangers. More detailed chapter summaries inside, tags will be updated with each new post. </p><p>Day 1: Faith. [Canon-verse] Levi isn't surprised to see Erwin Smith on his bed. What does surprise him is the young man sitting next to him, wrists tied behind his back and a blindfold over his eyes. </p><p>Day 2: Sports. [Modern AU] Erwin and Levi have a bit of a mid-life crisis. One thing leads to another, but it all ends with an Eren sandwich. Rated R. For Ridiculous. <del>Basically an excuse for the author to write fulfill her fetish for grown!Eren with grown!problems. Also, to make Erwin and Levi act like total dweebs.</del></p><p>Day 3: Loneliness. [Modern AU] Eren gets into a huge fight with his boyfriends and storms out of the house. By some bizarre cosmic joke, however, he ends up running into the last person he expects- or wants- to see: his ex, Jean-fucking-Kirschstein. </p><p>Days 4 & 5:<br/>Day 6:<br/>Day 7:</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Faith/Innocence

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so late! This idea is really important to me, so I spent a lot of time writing/editing to (hopefully) do it justice. Plus, it's my first multichap fic. And my first time writing smut! And it's a threesome!....*sweats nervously* Oh god, what am I doing-
> 
> Chapter Summary:  
>  _After all Levi and Erwin have been through, faith is just another form of trust. It’s blind, it’s absolute, and it’s the foundation that their entire relationship is based off of. When Erwin adds a new addition to that relationship, all three men come to realize that their capacity for faith- and love- is a lot more than they could have ever known. One finds the faith to love in an unkind world, one finds the faith to extend his love, and one finds faith in himself._

When Levi retires to his quarters for the night, he’s not surprised to see Erwin sitting on his bed. It isn’t an uncommon occurrence; they’re lovers, after all. But when his eyes adjust to the candlelight in the dim room, he also sees Eren Jaeger, wrists tied behind his back and a black silk cloth over his eyes.

Levi’s mouth opens before he closes it again. Multiple questions linger on his tongue and he isn’t sure which one to ask. He settles for the first one, “What the hell, Erwin?”

He notices Eren stiffen, startled by the new sound, and it makes Levi wonder if the kid is just as lost as he is.

Erwin, the bastard, just chuckles. “Close the door, Levi.” Levi narrows his eyes, annoyed at how fucking at ease the other man sounded.

He kicked his leg backwards, shutting the door behind him violently. He regrets it almost immediately when Eren jumps, noticeably anxious now.

His anger quickly returns again when Erwin breaks his gaze to look at the boy. “Levi,” the blonde man chides, “You’ve scared him.” Erwin’s voice is low and soothing and, when he gently runs his hands through the boy’s chocolate locks, Eren relaxes into his touch.

Levi snarls. “Stop fucking petting the kid, Shitwin. You-”

“Not a kid.” Erwin interrupts calmly. “He’s a young man now.” His hand trails across Eren’s face before dropping to trace along his ribcage, gently reverent. “And I know I’m not the only one who noticed.”

Levi’s blood runs cold, and he feels the urge to run. Something about the way Erwin drawls the words tells Levi that he’s about to fall into a trap. He can feel it in his bones, but he can’t see the cage yet.

“Erwin,” Levi curses his own voice for coming out a little unsteady, “Let him go.”

Erwin frowns a little as he shakes his head in disappointment. “Levi. You make it sound like I dragged him here against his will. Eren’s old enough to make his own choices. And he chose to come here with me.”

Levi’s hands ball into fists. “Is that why he’s fucking tied up and blindfolded?”

Erwin raises one of his large eyebrows. “Is that what’s bothering you? I’m sorry. I thought it might excite you.” Before Levi can say anything else, Erwin pulls the younger man to his side. The kid falls forward blindly, half-sprawled on Erwin’s lap. Levi can see his ears turning bright red at the sudden feel of the older man’s body against his.

Erwin’s hands move towards the rope around Eren’s wrists, pulling different parts of the knot until it comes loose. As soon as Eren’s hands are free, Erwin grasps the boy’s hands and starts massaging his wrists, murmuring a soft apology for any pain the binds may have caused. Eren sits still, allowing Erwin to touch him. Actually, judging by ardent expression on the boy’s face, perhaps “allowed” isn’t the right word. The kid is practically glowing with the attention.

Deep down, Levi knows that Erwin wouldn’t force Eren into anything, especially not into his bed. Erwin has too much pride to coerce a partner into spending the night with him. But Erwin is manipulative, and Eren is naïve. Despite all the blood on the boy’s hands, actually perhaps because of it, Levi would go so far as to call him innocent. Because despite the world throwing him all its worst horrors, he still came out unsullied. Still as foolishly loyal, still as stupidly caring. He hadn’t become a broken, hardened shell of himself, like Erwin. Like Levi. Levi had spent so long trying to protect Eren, not only from titans, but from shitty humans who wanted to use him. The last thing Levi wants is to become one of those users.

But Erwin is his lover and his Commander, an absolute presence in a world where everything could be taken away from him in an instant. Which is why he can only look on, helpless, as Erwin’s hands move to the hem of Eren’s shirt. Erwin’s face is unreadable as he looks at Levi, his eyes quietly assessing god knows what as he pulls Eren’s shirt from his stomach.

As Erwin’s hand pulls the flimsy cloth up further, more of Eren’s golden skin is slowly revealed. Levi can’t help himself but focus intently on that strong abdomen as Eren takes a breath. The shirt goes higher, and now Levi can see the swell of defined pectorals and just a flash of pert nipples. Levi’s breathing becomes dangerously shallow as one of Erwin’s blunt fingertips brushes over one of them teasingly. Eren sucks in a surprised gasp, and Levi’s teeth ache with the urge to bite the kid on the same spot.

Erwin’s hand leaves as quickly as it came, dropping back to the more neutral area of the youth’s stomach. His fingers trail in each curve of muscle, making the boy shiver and whisper a soft plea. Erwin laughs fondly at the youth’s impatience before bringing his attention back to Levi. “He’s grown up so well. Don’t you think so, Levi?”

Levi’s mouth is dry now, and he has to swallow in order to get his throat wet enough to reply. Erwin’s dangling Eren like bait in front of his eyes, and even though it’s such an obvious ploy, Levi can’t bring himself to call the other man out on it. With the younger man blindfolded like this, Levi allows his eyes to wander over him the way he’d secretly been dying to for at least a year now. Over those long golden limbs that had only gotten longer over the three years he’s been in the Survey Corps, that vulnerable-looking neck that just begged to be bitten, the exposed pelvic bones that inevitably led Levi’s brain to other parts of Eren’s body that were still covered. Levi abruptly stopped that train of thought, knowing deep down that at the end of that road lay madness.

“Why are you doing this?” He manages, just barely, to make the question sound like a demand. But he can’t quite hide the distress from his expression, and perhaps this is why Erwin’s eyes lighten a little, his demeanor becoming less like The Commander and more like the man that Levi fell in love with underneath it all.

Erwin’s voice is soft now, almost too quiet even in the small room. “I’ve seen the way you look at him, Levi.” Levi opens his mouth to protest, before he shuts it. He has no words to defend himself. Because yes, he wants Eren. Wants him so badly that sometimes he dreams about it. But he doesn’t touch the boy for so many reasons: because Eren is his charge, and Levi swore to protect him. Because Levi already has Erwin and he knows damn well that this world isn’t fair enough to give you everything you want.

Because if he touched Eren with his dirty hands, that would make him just as bad as those pig-bastards that saw him as a tool to be used instead of just a boy who was forced to grow up too fast.

Erwin’s eyes are gentle now, almost pitying, and for the life of him, Levi can’t fathom why. He doesn’t understand any of this. He searches Erwin’s face, trying to discern the other man’s intentions. Was this a punishment? Erwin could be cruel, but he’d never purposely tried to hurt Levi before. Did he push Erwin past the breaking point? Was he so hurt by Levi’s betrayal that he decided to hurt Levi back?

“Please don’t do this to me.” Levi pleads, his voice barely reaching the volume of a whisper.

Blue eyes narrow as they pierce his, suddenly intense. “I’m not forcing you to do anything, Levi.” Behind the firmness of the words though, Levi can hear something almost like entreaty in the other man’s voice…There’s sadness in those familiar baby blues, and Levi can’t shake the feeling that he’s missing something imperative. “All I’m asking is for you to have faith.”

Levi can see the cage now. And the door is locked. He’s trapped by those words, same as the day that he took the oath to give his all to the Survey Corps. Those words bind him as securely as a vice and he resents Erwin for saying them.

He’s done a lot of things he’s not proud of. When you grow up struggling to survive day in and day out in the slums, intangible things like pride, morals, and ideals don’t matter much anymore. But trampling the innocent- that was the one line he’d never crossed. As Corporal of the Special Operations Squad, Levi is no stranger to making tough calls. But here in his quarters, he’s not a corporal; he’s just a man. To have to choose between his god and his hope is far too cruel. The last time he’d made a choice this difficult...he closes his eyes. He’d made the wrong one and lost the two people most important to him. His palms sweat at the realization that history might be repeating itself, right at this very moment.

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a hesitant voice. Eren, who had been silent until now, took the tense silence in the room as his cue to speak. “Commander…” He licks his lips self-consciously, not aware of how the other men in the room lock in on the movement. “Permission to speak?” Erwin smiles a little and nods, even though Eren can’t see his reaction. Erwin’s hand gently cups Eren’s face before he murmurs, “I’m not your Commander when we’re in private, Eren.” A pause, and Erwin’s voice is huskier now. “Unless you want me to be.”

Eren sputters incoherently as his blush spreads to his neck and the tips of his ears, his hands clenching spasmodically at the knees beneath his palms. Erwin watches in amusement as the boy tries and fails a few more times to form words before he manages to calm himself down. Levi, on his part, is too confused by the way the other men in the room are interacting with each other. There is true affection in Erwin’s blue eyes and, despite how shy Eren is acting, the way he leans into Erwin’s casual touches speaks of trust. Levi isn’t quite sure what he’s seeing, but he’s starting to get an idea of what Erwin had been trying to convey to him through his unfathomable looks.

“Anyway.” The younger man huffed, shoving Erwin’s hand away from his face so that he can speak. “Corporal…”The young man mulled over the words inside his head in a rare moment of reflection, before continuing on resolutely. “If you’re concerned about me, you don’t have to be... I want this.”

Eren pauses again as he struggles with all the words in his head. He’s not a master orator like Erwin. He’s never been one for speeches or waxing long about his emotions. But he doesn’t want to fuck this up. He’s been waiting so long for this- both the physical intimacy and the opportunity to finally confess his feelings. He grumbles in frustration because he can’t think of the words to accurately convey those years of longing.

The Commander- no, Erwin- certainly hadn’t helped Eren think any clearer with the way he’d kept touching him while they waited for Levi to arrive. Nothing enough to satisfy either of them, just small touches that Eren would have called innocent if they didn’t linger just a little too long. Eren may be inexperienced, but he wasn’t a fool. He’d heard about the acts that his horny fellow teenagers confidentially talked to each other about in the barracks after a long day of training. Couldn’t escape it really. But with the recent titan attacks, the conversations had dwindled to nonexistent. Nothing quite kills your libido faster than your friends being brutally slaughtered.

It didn’t make any difference to Eren (the lack of lewd talk in the barracks, not the slaughter). He’d never been all that interested in sex. Part of him had wondered if he ever would be. He’d thought the boys who prattled on about what they did do or (more likely) what they fantasized about doing were neglecting their mission. Revenge on titan-kind had consumed his every thought for so long that he’d never once considered what it would be like to focus that passion on something, or someone, else.

But then Corporal Levi had appeared before him and it literally struck him in the face. Every adolescent longing that he’d thought didn’t apply to himself suddenly crashed down on him in one moment. That smooth voice that showed no hint of exertion despite the cruelty of his movements, those rough hands tugging his hair, and that emotionless yet somehow feral gaze awakened something unknown within him. After Erwin had explained their intentions to save him from execution, Levi had asked him, in the same even tone from the trial, if Eren hated him. It was in that moment that Eren, inexplicably, forgave him. And when he went back to his quarters for the night and reflected on the day’s events, something else inexplicable happened.

He’d been hard.

Since then he couldn’t stop following the Corporal with his eyes. It was never even a conscious decision. He would let his mind wander and then suddenly, when he came back to himself, he would be looking right at the other man. It was embarrassing and frustrating every time he caught himself doing it because it was as natural as breathing. But he was content with watching Levi from afar. The man was his hero, unconquerable, an unattainable idol.

But because he watched Levi, he couldn’t help but notice the man who was always around him. Another man he respected and that he could tell that, despite his words, Levi respected too. He could also see they looked at each other, how they moved closer when they talked, how they knew what the other person meant without words spoken out loud. Anyone could tell they were close, but Eren always suspected there might be something more there. He ignored it by telling himself that he was just reading too much into it and projecting his own desires onto the interactions. Deep down though, he probably did it for his own sanity. Growing up poor taught him that wanting what you can’t have just hurts you in the long run.

However, that all changed yesterday when Erwin returned to the base from his recent trip to the capital. Erwin had leaned over and asked the shorter man if he had some time to discuss an expedition they had planned. The request had sounded innocent enough, but Eren wasn’t able to shake the feeling that something was off. When blue eyes met his, Eren startled, not realizing that he had been staring. Panicked, he blurted out a frantic apology that the other man wouldn’t be able to hear anyways. Mortified by his own awkwardness, Eren averted his eyes and wished the ground would swallow him up.

Eren was preparing to turn around and leave before he made a bigger fool of himself when icy blue eyes met his from across the courtyard and froze him in place. Eren swallowed, not understanding why his commanding officer was looking at him like that or why the older man’s regard was raising the temperature in his body. Try as he might, those eyes pinned him down and he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Erwin lifted one of his hands, and Eren followed the appendage like an antelope staring down a lion for any sudden moves. The secretive little smile on Erwin’s face told Eren that the other man had noticed. That same hand moved to the nape of Levi’s neck under Eren’s captive scrutiny, brushing tantalizingly over the short hairs of Levi’s undercut. Eren’s mouth almost falls open at the way Levi shivers before batting Erwin’s hand away with a heated glare.

Erwin met Eren’s eyes over Levi’s head, a knowing look in his eyes. Eren ran from the courtyard, all the while cursing himself for being so obvious. When he finally caught his breath, he took some time to process what just occurred before coming to the conclusion that Erwin had noticed his stupid crush and decided to put an end to it. He wasn’t sure how he’d ever be able to look at his superior officers in their faces ever again because seeing that display made him realize that maybe his idol wasn’t so untouchable after all.

By dinner time, Eren had all but resigned himself to his fate of saying goodbye to his first love. He hadn’t expected Erwin to sit across him in the dining hall with a smile on his face. The older man talked about the weather they’d been having recently and inquired as to whether Eren was enjoying his stew. Eren had answered the questions woodenly, unsure as to what the other man was trying to get from him. After five more minutes of inane small talk, Eren finally snapped and told Erwin to get to the point.

Eren regretted the words almost immediately, knowing he could get severely disciplined for talking to his commanding officer that way. However, he couldn’t stop himself from shooting up from the table and staring down into Erwin’s eyes defiantly as he waited for the other shoe to drop. Out of line or not, he refused to be played around with. They stared at each other for several long seconds before Erwin leaned back and regarded Eren with a curious expression. He looked amused, certainly, but he also seemed…impressed.

When Erwin stood up as well, Eren reared back instinctively. He’d grown taller in recent years, but he was still a good four inches shorter than the other man. Erwin leaned down, a little more than necessary, much to Eren’s chagrin. He stood up straighter, refusing to be intimidated, when Erwin told the younger man to meet him in his office tomorrow evening after his meal.

Eren clenched his jaw, sure that the other man intended to chew him out. He did the only thing he could do and turned his anger inwards. While he was concentrating on the storm brewing inside him, Erwin ran his fingertips over the back of his neck, the exact same way he’d done to Levi earlier. The loud squawk he gave at the unexpected touch was unavoidable, but no less humiliating.

He spun around, ready to fight the larger man- consequences be damned...but the urge died an early death when he saw the smile on the Commander’s face. It wasn’t one of those polite smiles he gave to aristocrats in the interior or even the gentle ones he gave to his brothers in arms. There was mischief there, fondness, affection, and Eren’s heart threatened to beat right out of his chest. When his heartbeat wouldn’t calm until long after the other man left, he wondered, half-deliriously, if it was possible to be in love with two people at the same time.

~*~

Eren stood at Erwin’s office door, more than a little petrified. He swallowed, trying to gather up the courage to knock. He’d barely slept the past night, haunted by dreams of feverish touches and two pairs of heated eyes watching him writhe on silk sheets. He wasn’t sure what Erwin was going to say and he almost didn’t care anymore. He just needed to know one way or the other- for the sake of his sanity. If he kept having dreams like that, his frustration would be the death of him.

“Damn it, Eren.” He abruptly started cursing himself for thinking about the dreams again, incredibly tempted to knock on the door with his head instead of his fist. (Un)fortunately, before he could act on the impulse, he heard a charming voice tell him to come in. He scowled, exasperated by how transparent he was to the other man. He stepped into the office, a little petulantly once he saw that amused expression on Erwin’s face again. “Hello, Eren. Please, take a seat.”

Eren sat down stiffly in one of the fine chairs in front of Erwin’s desk. The man still had that shit-eating grin on his face. “I’m so glad you could make it.” He rumbled, his voice warm and secure like a blanket. Eren resisted the urge to quiver before biting out the words, “You asked me to come, sir.”

Erwin laughed, and the sound was entrancing. Eren had never heard the Commander laugh like that before. He got the distinct feeling that very few people had. “That’s right, Eren, I did. You’re probably wondering why I’ve called you here.” Before Eren could let loose a smart-ass retort, Erwin continued. “I have a proposal for you.”

Eren sat up, wary. “What kind of proposal?”

Erwin pinned him with one of those intense looks again. “To spend the night in our bed.”

Eren almost choked on his own spit. “W-what?” He couldn’t process the blunt response, having expecting something of Erwin’s usual diplomacy. The man in front of him wasn’t anything like the Commander he knew. Deep down though, Eren knew he was intrigued by him just the same. He wondered how many sides this man had to him, unable to help the ache he felt to know them all.

Erwin didn’t say anything, giving the younger man a chance to absorb his words. Once Eren collected himself, the younger man surprised him once again. Those green eyes pierced through him, indomitable. The message in those resplendent orbs was clear. “I am not a toy, and I won’t be treated like one.” Erwin couldn’t stop the pride that swells in his chest at how splendid a man the boy he’d met three years ago had become. Nor could he stop the lust pooling in his lower body as he considered the thought of this man’s passion extending to other, more physical aspects of his life.

But enough of that. There was no use of thinking in terms of what-ifs when he had the chance to turn his desires into reality right in front of him. “I’m not trying to use you, Eren.” He murmured.

Those emerald eyes continued to hold his, unyielding. “Then why?”

Erwin moved from behind his desk to stand in front of young man, waiting for Eren to crane his neck upwards to look up at his face before making his move. “I just don’t see why we should continuing denying ourselves what we all want.”

Eren looked surprised, and Erwin isn’t quite sure why. The youth’s next words clear that up for him pretty quickly though. “…We all?”

Erwin couldn’t help but find Eren adorable in that moment, but he somehow managed to push down the impulse to just drag the young man to his private quarters right that instant. Instead, he moved even closer to the brunet, practically standing in between his knees before responding evenly. “You want Levi, and Levi wants you.” He waits a little, once again resisting the urge to smile at the unsatisfied expression on the boy’s face. Eren’s lost in thought, so he’s caught off guard when Erwin’s hand tilts his face up. Erwin stares heatedly at those parted lips before adding in a husky purr, “And I want you as well.”

He can feel the Eren’s pulse skyrocket from his fingers’ close proximity to the other man’s neck. “The only question is,” he rasps, “do you want me too?” Eren swallows, feeling like a fly in a spider’s web. The other man’s eyes are no longer their usual sky blue. Arousal darkened them to their current liquid indigo, once again adding to the illusion that an entirely different man was revealing himself to Eren now. He felt as if he were being hypnotized. His fingers tingle with the urge to reach up into those immaculate blond locks and crash his lips against the smug ones above him. Eren realized belatedly that Erwin was still waiting for an answer, but the words get caught in his throat as the man’s thumb, which was previously on his chin, started tracing his bottom lip.

“I-“ Gods, that thumb was distracting. He never knew his lips could be so sensitive. Eren felt like the heat caused by the blush on his face was spreading from the surface of his skin to everything inside his skull. Almost in a haze, he touched that wicked thumb with the tip of his tongue. He flushed as the other man’s pupils swallowed up even more of cobalt irises, feeling a bit like he poked a sleeping lion.

“I want,” Eren gasped out. He couldn’t bring himself say anymore because Erwin was leaning in closer. Eren tilted his head further up, expecting Erwin to bend down and kiss him. But when he opened his eyes again, he realized Erwin had moved back, maintaining the distance between them. Disappointment crashed over him like a wave and he wanted to cry, he was so humiliated. His expression seemed to alarm Erwin, because those strong fingers held Eren’s face captive. He wanted to demand the older man to let go, but all that came out was a hurt whimper. Soothing hands ran through his hair, over his cheeks, under his eyelashes to wipe up the beginnings of tears. “I want you, Eren. Don’t think that I don’t.” The older man bit out a self-deprecating laugh in a rare display of dissatisfaction. “But we can’t…not without Levi.”

Eren looked up the other man skeptically, still feeling too raw to believe right away. “How do we get Corporal to…?”

A sweet kiss to his temple shocked him into silence. Erwin smiled wryly. “Let me handle Levi.” At Eren’s frown, Erwin asked, “Do you trust me, Eren?”

Eren thought about the Commander and the way he’d sacrificed all of himself for the sake of humanity, and therefore Eren, humanity’s hope. He also considered this unfamiliar, less-than-superhuman man before him who’d moved so quickly to ease his doubts.

Eren nodded once before vocalizing his thoughts with a resolute “yes”. Erwin smiled one of those heart-attack inducing smiles again before pulling something from his pant pocket. Eren fixated on the black silk in the other man’s hands, listening attentively to the way the fabric whispered across Erwin’s long fingers as he extended the cloth to its full length. When Erwin brought the cloth to Eren’s eyes, Eren realized where this was headed. He took a deep breath as Erwin secured the blindfold around his head, willing himself to calm down. Being vulnerable like this scared him a little, and it didn’t help that he still didn’t have a full grasp on Erwin’s intentions. But when Erwin traced over his lips again, quickly- like he couldn’t help himself, Eren decided that no matter what Erwin wanted, he’d be able to accept it. What mattered was that he wanted Erwin and he wouldn’t regret anything as long as Erwin wanted him back.

It’s that reminder of this evening that finally helps Eren formulate his next course of action. He doesn’t need an elaborate speech. He’d chosen to put his faith in Erwin’s words, and Erwin said Levi wanted him. All he needs to do is show Levi that he wanted him too.

He raises his chin so that he faces determinedly in Levi’s direction. Despite the fact that his eyes are still blindfolded, he faces forward resolutely. “I want this.” He repeated before extending his right arm back towards Erwin. When the blond man intercepts his hand halfway, entwining Eren’s fingers with his own, Eren lifts the other hand towards Levi in wordless supplication. “All of this.”

There’s no trace of his previous hesitation left. Levi can’t help but be taken aback. Even with the cloth over the Eren’s eyes, he knows exactly what look the titan-shifter has on his face now. Those bright eyes would be shining with purpose, as if backlit by some sort of flame. Something in his chest burns at the thought of being wanted so much by someone so pure.

Levi looks at that outstretched hand, and he imagines that he sees the road to Heaven and Hell all at once. His gunmetal eyes linger on the other men’s entwined fingers that speak of a unity that he wants to be a part of. Levi steels himself before taking that leap. There’s no room for doubt or regrets.

He reaches out and takes that hand, clenching too tightly as he grabs hold of it, but Eren doesn’t complain. If anything, the young man returns the gesture with just as much zeal, pulling Levi forwards until he’s on the bed too. Levi watches a relieved smile bloom across that beautiful face, and his heart melts a little. He’d be too embarrassed to return that smile if the kid could see it, but right now, in this dark room hidden away from the rest of the world, he allows himself that small expression of happiness. He sees a similar expression on Erwin’s face, the melancholy from before nowhere to be found.

Several moments pass before Eren questions, “Um…so are we doing this or…”

Erwin laughs throatily before wrapping his arms fully around Eren’s torso from behind. “Yes, we are. But I think Levi deserves some punishment for making us wait for so long.”

Before Eren can ask anything else, Erwin tilts his head up and takes advantage of the boy’s open mouth to insert his tongue past those inquisitive lips. Eren lets out something between a high-pitched gasp and a moan, losing himself to the sensation. He turns around in Erwin’s grip and rocks forward onto his knees before reaching up and _finally_ running his hands through those blond locks.

Levi stares, caught up in some sort of sensual fugue as he watches the scene before him. Watches the way Erwin’s large hands rub down from Eren’s shoulders to his chest before rolling the boy’s nipples through his shirt. Watches the way Eren gasps again in a mixture of pleasure and pain into Erwin’s mouth and the way his hands grip at Erwin’s wrists, as if he’s conflicted as to whether he should pull the man closer to or away from the hardening bud. His chest tightens when Eren breaks the kiss, desperately panting for breath, unable to take anymore. It’s so damn obvious that it’s his first kiss. Erwin murmurs praise against the boy’s hair, telling him he’s so perfect, that he tastes so sweet.

After a few moments of listening to the teen’s shattered breathing, Erwin’s apparently had enough of letting him recover, gripping Eren’s face gently but firmly by the chin. Erwin inches closer, stopping just before Eren’s lips. Levi can see Eren’s furrowed eyebrows over the blindfold as the kid tries to figure out why Erwin stopped. Erwin lets Eren squirm a bit more because he’s a sadistic bastard before easing the brunet’s anxiety with a sensual whisper against his lips. “Remember to breathe through your nose.” Erwin purrs gently, and just a bit teasingly.

Their lips meet again, and this time Eren’s not as willing to let Erwin take the lead. His hands run through Erwin’s hair again, grabbing and clutching feverishly, intentionally tousling the golden strands. The kiss is wild and chaotic because the kid has no idea what he’s doing, but Erwin is content to indulge him, pleased that the young man is so lost in desire that he forgets to be shy. Eventually though, enough is enough and Erwin slides his hands down Eren’s body to give his ass a possessive squeeze. Eren whimpers shakily, gripping Erwin even tighter.

Sapphire eyes meet Levi’s and one of Erwin’s eyebrows quirks in invitation. Levi rolls his eyes because he hadn’t been waiting for Erwin’s permission, but he chooses not to shatter the moment with a retort. He puts his hands on Eren’s hips, rejoicing in the excited intake of breath Eren takes when he feels Levi touching his body. He wouldn’t admit it, but he’s thankful for the physical reminder that Eren wants him just as much as he wants Erwin.

His hands move upwards, taking Eren’s shirt with them as they leave burning trails on the kid’s skin. When he gets to Eren’s shoulders, the young man obligingly lifts his arms so that he can be completely divested of the material. Levi takes a moment to explore the bare, tanned skin of Eren’s strong back. He runs his hands over shoulder blades, ribs, and finally that tantalizing juncture between neck and shoulder. He isn’t sure if it’s because Eren is a titan-shifter, but the nape of his neck always looked so vulnerable above his strong back muscles. It’s irresistible, and before he knows it, he’s running his tongue across it.

Eren lets out a wrecked whimper that goes straight to Levi’s groin as he falls forward, unable to take it. Interesting how, even sexually, the back of his neck is his weak point. Levi makes a mental note as he bites the flesh there. He doesn’t get a chance to make more use of his discovery though, because Eren has whipped around, practically knocking the other man over in his haste. “Corporal, please, can you-“

Levi anticipates what the younger man is about to say, and pulls the other man’s head down. He captures those rosy lips with his own and explores Eren’s mouth for the first time, languidly stroking his tongue over Eren’s teeth, palette, and tongue, determined to commit the taste to memory. He runs his tongue over a particularly sharp canine; the boy has teeth like a wild animal. He groans at the thought of those teeth marking his skin. Eren makes an answering snarl of impatience, apparently annoyed with how Levi was taking his time. The sound only makes Levi smile. An animal indeed. The fact that Eren had willingly allowed them to deprive him of his sight and put himself at their mercy only made the boy’s debauchery hotter.

Until now, Erwin had just observed the other men’s exchanges because he knows how important it is that they have their moment together. However, the sounds of their kissing are slowly whittling away at his self-control, and he decides to up the ante. One of his hands reach down to palm Eren’s groin roughly through his pants. Eren stutters Erwin’s name in shock, his legs instinctively closing at the touch. This action causes Eren to unwittingly trap Erwin’s hand against him- a blunder that the blond takes full advantage of by spreading his long fingers and grazing across Eren’s hole. Eren erupts in a shiver at the feeling of someone touching him somewhere that private.

Levi breaks the kiss because Eren’s too far gone at this point to really participate. He figures it’s about time to get down to the good stuff anyway. Levi unfastens the button on Eren’s pants and pulls the offending material down along with Eren’s underwear, freeing the brunet’s previously trapped cock. The attractively pink organ practically bounces against Eren’s belly. Levi salivates, consumed with the sudden desire to taste it. First things first though, and he wrenches the younger man’s pants over his thighs. It takes a bit more creative maneuvering to shimmy all of the clothing over Eren’s knees but with a little help from Erwin, Eren is finally wearing nothing but the blindfold. Levi pushes the brunet onto the bed between them and just takes in the view of Eren, flushed and breathless, spread in front of them like a feast waiting to be devoured.

With that thought, Levi can’t resist any longer and seals his lips around Eren’s nipple before biting the pert bud. Eren lets out a keening wail as he arches into Levi’s mouth, hands tangling in the bed sheets. Levi continues, relentless, as his hands run over every inch of tanned skin that he hadn’t been able to touch before. The young man is a masterpiece of heated skin and muscle, deserving of worship, and Levi intends to do just that. He kisses lower, mouthing at more sensitive skin. He takes delight in Eren’s quickening breaths as he runs his fingers through the thin trail of brown hair that led to his intended destination.

Levi looks up at Erwin through dark lashes before delivering an exacting ice cream cone lick to Eren’s straining cock. The blond has Eren’s head on his lap, content to enjoy the show Levi is putting on. He doesn’t want to overwhelm their young lover with too much too soon. However, there’s only so much they can expect from someone so inexperienced. Levi can tell by the way the kid’s thighs tense under his fingers that he’s close- despite Erwin’s consideration, so he reluctantly pulls away before he can claim his prize. It wouldn’t do to have the kid blow his load too quickly.

Understandably, though, Eren is not happy about this. His dick, now fully engorged, is an angry red. The mouth that had previously been making those delicious noises is now open in confusion before eventually pinching in frustration. This, mysteriously, makes Levi want to laugh. The displeasure on the kid’s face is too damn close to a pout, and he looks ridiculously adorable. Erwin seems to think so too, if the look on his face was any indication. The blond’s hands move from Eren’s hair to his shoulders, alternatingly rubbing soothing circles into the muscles and stroking the kid’s collar bones. However, instead of calming Eren as intended, the brunet only seemed more aroused and irritated to be kept on the edge like this. He mutters some choice names petulantly, all the while looking stupidly cute again. Levi gets the feeling that Erwin did it on purpose just to see that reaction.

Eren can’t see them, but he knows when he’s being played. He tugs at Erwin’s broad shoulders, trying to show his displeasure at being the only one all hot and bothered, but he only hears a low chuckle before strong hands gently pry him off and pin his arms to his side. He shivers, because he can’t hear or see the other two, and, other than the hands at his wrists, he can’t feel them either. He can sense two sets of eyes on him though, and he tries his best to not be intimidated. He feels helpless, but at the same time, desired. His skin is burning, though he isn’t sure whether it’s from lust or embarrassment. He doesn’t really care. He’s long past the point of shame at this point. He’s been teased all day, and he’s waited too long for this to happen to care if they found him desperate. Besides, his instincts tell him that he has their full attention and he doubts they’ll reject him, no matter how selfish he acts.

That reassurance gives him the courage to growl out, “Why am I still the only one naked?”

He can tell by the twin intakes of breath that he’s surprised the two older men and he smiles smugly. He savors the pride he feels for catching them off guard until he’s thrown off balance by teeth scraping against his inner thigh. He bites back a curse, his neglected cock suddenly returning to full-mast.

“Patience, brat.” He feels Corporal’s breath on his leg, his normally smooth voice rougher and uncharacteristically husky. Teeth mark Eren on that previously unseen and untouched skin. “We’ll fuck you in good time, don’t you worry.” He trails his tongue over the strong muscles there, occasionally scratching his nails across the slightly paler skin and delighting in the red trails he leaves behind. Eren’s strains against Erwin’s hold on his wrists, making these mewling sounds that frays their already tenuous self-control. It’s Erwin that rasps, “Levi, perhaps it’s time we speed things up a bit.”

Levi raises an eyebrow but says nothing, taking Erwin’s words as a cue to start taking off his own clothes. Eren doesn’t protest the lack of sensation this time because he can hear the rustling of clothing being removed and then discarded carelessly on the ground. He sighs in contentment when he feels Levi settling in between his thighs and Erwin’s hands running over his cheeks, chest, and upper arms. Levi licks along the length of his dick, blowing teasingly over the wet stripe he left behind. When Eren’s legs lift reflexively, Levi takes hold of them and puts them over his shoulders, effectively trapping Eren in place. He wraps his hand along the base of Eren’s shaft, taking the time to shoot Erwin a devilish look as he takes Eren into his mouth. He swirls his tongue around the cockhead before tonguing the slit, delighting in the choked cry Eren gave him in return.

When he feels Eren’s hands hesitantly tangle in his hair, Levi lets out a pleased hum as a reward. Eren’s hands clutch at the raven strands, panting wantonly with his legs wide open. His response is refreshingly innocent; the kid is so open, so vocal about how much he’s enjoying it, leaving no doubt in Levi’s mind that the kid appreciates his efforts. And the _noises_ he was making. Damn, if he sounded like this now, how would he sound when they were fucking him into the mattress? The thought made Levi’s cock throb painfully between his legs.

Levi focuses on the kid with rapt attention, knowing he could easily watch the kid for hours. It takes the feeling of a third hand on the back of his head to get him to tear his eyes away. Erwin gives him a smoldering look that barely serves as a warning to relax his throat before he pushes Levi’s head down further onto the boy’s cock. Eren takes a sobbing breath to brokenly moan out the words “C-Commander, wait- ahhh Corporal!”

Levi never understood Erwin’s penchant for using titles in the bedroom before, but hearing his rank from the sweet lips of his subordinate just now filled him with an indecent thrill. He shows his appreciation by sliding Eren’s cock further into his mouth, relishing in the slight burn it takes to mold his throat around it. Once Eren is fully in his mouth, he uses the skills he acquired through years of practice with Erwin’s considerable length to swallow around the cockhead, eliciting a high-pitched keen from the brunet. He bobs his head expertly, sliding himself down to the hilt before pulling back, all the while sucking, licking, and reducing the kid to a babbling mess. Eren’s thighs tense again, signaling that he’s close. This time though, Levi slides back down until his nose touches brown pubic hair and stays there. Eren arches forward, hips completely in the air, and Levi almost chokes when Eren releases his load down his throat. Levi somehow manages to swallow most of the brunet’s come, only a little dribbling down his chin.

Levi lets Eren’s cock slip out of his mouth with a lewd pop before he places a delicate kiss to the crown. Eren shudders, too sensitive from his recent orgasm. In his boneless state, he makes no protest as Erwin pulls him fully into his lap and starts nuzzling his ear. The older man tweaks a nipple with one hand while the other cups over his groin. Eren whimpers as his sated cock twitches at Erwin’s touch, but it’s still too soon for him to get hard again. Erwin takes the hint and moves the hand over to the brunet’s hip. His tongue darts out to lick Eren’s earlobe before tugging it with his teeth. Eren gasps, arching his back slightly. He doesn’t realize how far in Erwin’s lap he is though, and his movement makes him press his ass against Erwin’s cock unintentionally. His eyelashes flutter in shock at how big it feels, and he wonders how THAT could possibly fit inside anyone. Underneath the fear though, Eren feels a thrill of excitement. He’s always enjoyed a challenge.

Eren’s slowly getting horny again and he reaches for Levi, not caring how greedy he seems. Levi smirks and obliges by crawling over towards the pair, deliberately putting a swivel in his hips and earning a heated stare from Erwin. When he makes it to them, Levi brings his lips to Eren’s, tangling their tongues together. Eren groans because he can still taste himself in Levi’s mouth. He grinds back onto Erwin’s cock, delighting in the low noise that escapes Erwin’s throat. His celebration is cut short by the feeling of hands being placed under his knees and forcing them apart.

Levi breaks the kiss when Erwin presses an object into his hand. Levi eyes widen in surprise as he looks at the familiar vial. Erwin reads his confusion and murmurs straightforwardly, “You should get him ready for what’s coming next. You can’t take him without preparation.” Levi’s heart stutters in his chest for a moment.

Levi certainly wasn’t a virgin (the blond sitting across from him could attest to that), but he’d never put his fingers-or anything else, for that matter- inside someone else before. He’d never been interested. To touch inside someone else’s ass and then put himself in there was simply an option he’d never found appealing. He’d never considered the night would take this particular turn because he’d assumed Erwin would want to take the lead. He can’t help the apprehension that washes over him at being entrusted with the responsibility of robbing Eren of his virginity.

Eren is beautiful like this, flushed and wanting more. He looks embarrassed and he’s clearly resisting the urge to cover up, but he holds himself open for them. For him. “Levi,” he whispers breathily, and as much as Levi enjoyed hearing Eren moan his rank before, hearing the kid say his name under these circumstances adds an extra level of intimacy to the situation. Apparently, he waits too long because Eren says his name again, this time with the addition of the word “please”. Levi rolls his eyes at the boy’s impatience and the surge of affection that courses through him swiftly overshadows his hang-ups. Levi nips at those kiss-swollen lips before opening the vial.

The oil is cold as he spreads it over his fingers, and he takes a moment to warm it up before inserting one finger into Eren’s hole. Eren is still relaxed from his earlier orgasm, but he still tenses a bit at the unfamiliar sensation. When Levi adds a second, Eren worries his bottom lip with his teeth and starts taking shallow breaths. Levi is about to ask if he’s okay, but Erwin tilts Eren’s head up a little and slips a tongue into his mouth, freeing the appendage from its owner’s teeth.

While Eren is distracted by Erwin, Levi concentrates on scissoring his fingers the way that Erwin’s done for him many times. Suddenly, Eren cries into Erwin’s mouth, and Levi knows that he’s found the youth’s prostate. He presses down on the little bump with his fingers, watching in satisfaction as the young man’s erection revives itself. Eren’s so lost in pleasure that he doesn’t notice Levi adding the third finger.

Levi figures this should be enough, so he aligns himself with Eren’s newly-stretched hole and then finally slides inside the younger man’s body. He can’t stop the low moan that escapes him when he bottoms out. The kid is just so fucking _tight_. Levi thought he’d prepped the boy enough, but he’d never done it before. He’d assumed Erwin would step in if he were doing something wrong. The heat is also unbelievable, and Levi wonders if everyone is this hot inside or if Eren is a special case. Distantly, he can hear Erwin’s soothing whispers, comforting the boy through the intrusion. Murmurs of soft praise, of “you’re so good, Eren”, “so beautiful”, and “you’re doing so well”.

Levi wants to say something to put the boy at ease, but he’s never been great at articulating his feelings. Erwin is the diplomat after all; Levi’s just the soldier. So he does what soldiers do: he expresses himself through action. Levi leans up, curving Eren’s spine until he can reach Eren’s face. When he’s close enough, he presses a kiss to each of Eren’s eyelids over the blindfold with a gentleness that surprises even him. Eren seems stunned for a second and Levi starts to feel self-conscious, but the sweet smile Eren rewards him with makes it all worth it.

By now, the pain from the corporal’s length inside him had dulled to an ache, and Eren pushes back experimentally. Levi groans at the feeling, digging his into the boy’s skin. It doesn’t escape his notice that Eren seems to like that. Seems the shifter likes things a little rough. Levi’s eyes meet Erwin’s over the boy’s head and Erwin gives a nod as if telling Levi to go ahead. Levi runs his hands over the boy’s rib cage before gripping his hips roughly, reveling in the way the boy’s body jerked and tightened in anticipation.

The first thrust is vicious, a sharp snap of his hips. But based on the way Eren moans and digs his nails into Erwin’s shoulders, the kid doesn’t mind too much. Levi smirks at Erwin, who’d gasped at the unexpected clawing. Unsurprisingly though, the blond doesn’t look turned off by the pain in the slightest. As Levi settles into a punishing pace, Erwin pulls the boy up to his mouth, swallowing those moans with his tongue. Eren’s a wreck now, wasting the precious breaths Erwin allowed him with cries for more. He sobs both their names, sometimes broken amalgamations of both.

Levi continues to piston forward, watching lustfully eyes as Erwin reaches between their bodies to wrap his hand around Eren’s cock. Erwin hand becomes slick with Eren’s precum as he relentlessly jacks Eren’s length. Eren’s mouth opens in a silent cry, blissed-out and completely unconcerned with the drool that drips down his chin. In the middle of that friction and heat, Eren thinks to himself that maybe he has something new to fight for: this pleasure that transcends pain, this sense of belonging, this feeling of finally- for the first time since his mother died- feeling safe.

He wants to show his gratitude to these two men, so he clenches his ass around Levi. The raven-haired man releases a rough, shattered groan at the tightened embrace, lowering his head and collapsing forward until he almost touches Eren’s chest. Eren turns his head towards Erwin’s ear and whispers, “Erwin…I want to blow you.” He feels Erwin tense behind him before a rumbling baritone voice with just the slightest of tremors rumbles, “Eren, are you sure?”

Eren scoffs. “I’ve literally lost arms and legs to titans. I think I can handle sucking your cock.”

He hears a bark of laughter in front of him. “You heard the brat, Erwin. Scoot back and give him your dick.” Erwin sighs, finally relinquishing his hold on Eren and pulling back enough that the young man’s upper body is laid out on the bed. Eren expects Erwin to flip him over, but when he feels a heavy, thick heat press against his lips, he decides to go with the flow and opens his mouth.

Eren mimics what he remembered Levi doing to his own cock, licking along the shaft and tonguing the blunt head. From the soft intake of breath he hears, he figures he’s doing something right. Erwin is _big_ , and his jaw is already starting to ache from keeping his mouth open so wide, but he does his best to swallow around the shaft all the same.

Erwin runs his hands over Eren’s face, stroking the high cheekbones before tracing those plump lips stretched wide around his cock. The brunet has little technique, the movements clumsy and sloppy, but the sincere effort he gives makes up for his lack of skill. Erwin isn’t really concerned. Technique would come with experience, but Eren’s eagerness to give his partner pleasure is something that can’t be taught. Plus, those delicious little moans Eren makes around his cock when Levi hits his prostate is going a long way to make him feel damn good. Eventually, Erwin pulls out so that Eren can breathe, bringing the boy up for a bruising kiss. There would be plenty of time to train their new lover later.

Levi, on his end, grits his teeth, fighting to stave off orgasm from the clenching heat of Eren’s body. He desperately wants to come, but he refuses to do so before the others. He thrusts faster, gripping Eren’s hips tightly enough to leave bruises. When Levi sees tears running down the Eren’s face underneath the blindfold, he tears off the black cloth, worried that he’d gotten too lost in his own pleasure to focus on Eren’s. He tilts Eren’s head towards his, afraid that he’ll find pain or worse- regret- in those aquamarine eyes. What he finds instead takes his breath away.

He sees trust. No, faith. A blind, unshakable faith that they won’t hurt him, that they care, that they won’t just take his body and use it. Eren accepts all of them, and he gives himself in return. Levi realizes for the first time that he’s not defiling Eren with his desire. There’s nothing dirty about what they’re doing in this room. On the contrary, this night is beautiful because it’s the beginning of a new stage in their relationship. In this moment, they’re maturing in ways they didn’t realize they could, discovering that they’re in possession of traits they didn’t know they had.

They have enough courage to acknowledge that this relationship will require a lot of effort and self-reflection, but it will be worth it in the end. They have enough respect for themselves and each other to overcome jealousy. And most importantly, they have enough faith in each other to understand that there’s enough love in all their hearts to love one without diminishing their love for the other. It’s with this thought that Levi gives his final thrust with a growl, releasing himself into Eren’s body and entrusting Eren with his innocence. He watches Eren’s eyes close as he takes it into himself, safekeeping it from a world where goodness is synonymous to weakness.

Eren quickly follows, the feeling of Levi’s heat inside him causing a chain reaction. He shudders once before cumming hard onto his stomach and chest, whimpering softly. Erwin smiles as he watches them ride out their orgasms, both looking sated and, at least in this moment, content in their place within this merciless world. Levi collapses onto Eren’s chest, grimacing at the mess there but wrapping his arms around Eren anyway before he meets the brunet’s lips in a tender kiss. When they finally pull away from each other, their eyes are so full of love and devotion that Erwin feels his heart ache a little. The other men are in their own little world, and Erwin- in a rare moment of self-doubt- worries briefly that he may have no place in it.

His concern is quickly proven unfounded, however, when heated green and grey eyes meet his. Levi slinks over to him on all fours, catlike, until he straddles Erwin’s lap. He crushes their lips together, their tongues tangling in a familiar dance. Erwin’s so distracted by Levi that he doesn’t notice Eren slipping his head in between the older men’s bodies. When he feels those sweet lips on his cock again, he breaks the kiss to look down. Looking at Eren now makes him briefly lament blindfolding him when the night began. Those large, expressive green eyes look at him coquettishly through lashes wet with reflexive tears, practically inviting Erwin to cum down his throat. Erwin simply can’t resist after being on the brink of climax for so long, so his hands cup the back of Eren’s head, keeping the younger man in place as he releases with a bellow.

Eren almost gags around Erwin’s length, unable to hold everything that Erwin gave him. When the older man slides out, his hands shaking slightly, Eren makes a soft sound of disappointment as some of Erwin’s come leaks from the side of his mouth. He brings up a hand to wipe it off, lapping it up when some starts to drip down his arm. He doesn’t notice the two other men watching him with glittering eyes, both of them turned on by the display of potential the boy possessed. A bit more practice and Eren would undoubtedly be a force to reckon with in the bedroom. Regrettably, a round two would just be too much for Eren’s first time, so they decide to rein in their libidos until the next night they can all be alone together.

They collapse onto each other, barely having enough energy to align themselves together on the bed. Eren’s asleep almost immediately, feeling reassured in the cradle of the two older men’s arms. Erwin places a tired kiss to Eren’s temple before meeting Levi’s lips chastely. Levi returns the kiss, accidentally cutting it short with a yawn. Erwin chuckles and Levi scowls, shoving Erwin away as he throws a hand around Eren’s hip and snuggles the boy closer. Despite how annoyed Levi pretends to be, he doesn’t push Erwin away when larger man positions his leg over Eren’s body to hook his ankle with his.

Erwin stays awake for a while as he looks at the peaceful resting faces of his lovers. The room is already lightening with the beginnings of dawn, a harsh reminder that they can’t stay in this moment forever, no matter how hard they may wish otherwise. Eventually, he can’t resist the call of sleep any longer and he shuts his eyes to the intruding light. When somnolence finally takes him, he takes small consolation in the fact that at least in the future when they face the trials of the outside world, they will now have each other to lean on. They are strength, they are unity, they are hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, thanks for making it all the way to the end! This chapter just kept getting longer and longer and I couldn't stop it *starts sweating again* 
> 
> I realized that there's a surprising dearth of of pre-OT3 relationship fics in canon-verse, so I decided to try my hand at it. Being such a big fan of Eruriren/Ereri myself, I'm aware of how many people send hate on the basis that the ship is child abuse. Instead of wasting time ranting to people who would never change their minds anyway, I decided to write out the way I picture their relationship in my mind. Hopefully it didn't disappoint. 
> 
> Next up: modern au and some hotteacher!Eren
> 
> Please don't be afraid to hit me up on [tumblr](http://distilldiscussion.tumblr.com/)! I'd love to hear from y'all. Doesn't even have to be fic-related. I'm just crazy about this ship and I have no outlet for it in real life *laughs*


	2. Sports/Jealous (Side A)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sports (n) -an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others
> 
> ...So, competing against your husband and then engaging in vigorous sex with him and your boyfriend counts, right?
> 
> ~~Basically an excuse for the author to write fulfill her fetish for grown!Eren with grown!problems. Also, to make Erwin and Levi act like total dweebs.~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wha-? What do you mean Eruriren week is over? *sweats* On the real though, it was dumb of me to think I could crank out a fic a day. This chapter was supposed to be the shortest and the stupidest. Now it's...how should I describe it...fluff? smut? crack? I really have no idea *sweats profusely* And I wrote dirty talk for the first time and my beta was like do you have a teacher kink and I was like onlyiftheirnameisErenJaeger-
> 
> On a more serious note, I apologize for the long wait, but this chapter was a monster. I had an idea in mind, and then I started writing...and writing...and writing, and the words wouldn't stop coming out. And now it's somehow longer than the first. The prompt is Sports ffs, I have no idea how this became longer than Faith. 
> 
> The response to this fic was way more than I ever could have expected, and I'm so thankful for your kind words, subscriptions, kudos, follows, bookmarks- every last thing. Your feedback kept me going on the nights where I was staring blearily at my computer screen, wondering why *this one damn line* wouldn't come out right. I've finally come up with something I'm happy with, and I hope you're happy with it too.

Levi looks out into the crowded square, a bored expression fixed onto his face. His hand twitches with the urge to tap his fingers against the table, but its surface is way too filthy. He settles for kicking the table leg in a rapid staccato rhythm. Erwin, who is sitting across him in the booth, serenely chides, “Levi. Be patient. You said you would behave today.”

“I’ll do whatever I damn well please, Eyebrows.” Levi snaps.

Said eyebrows raises at the retort, along with a patronizing head shake that makes Levi want to snap his stupidly thick neck. “I’m just concerned that your bad mood will affect Eren’s and ruin his big day.”

Levi purses his lips and mutters, “Whatever.” But he’s lost the fight and they both know it. Erwin hides his victorious smile behind a large hand, but judging from the sharp kick Levi delivers to his shin, the shorter man saw it. It didn’t matter. They both knew Levi was a total sap when it came to Eren. Erwin could hardly blame him when he was guilty of the same crime.

The weather is beautiful today, sunny with a light breeze, and Erwin takes the opportunity to appreciate this rare moment of peace. There were no phone calls he had to take, no documents he had to sign, no crises he had to resolve. He looks over at his husband, who’s observing people in the courtyard, and contemplates how they got here, to this moment. He smiles when he thinks about how his younger self- an ambitious adolescent with his whole life planned out- would have reacted if he’d told him that the surly boy he befriended out of curiosity would end up becoming his husband. Or how he and said husband would end up in a polyamorous relationship with a man ten years their junior because, against all logic, they both fell hopelessly in love with him.

If he had to describe the way Eren Jaeger came into their lives, he’d liken it to a hurricane. Unstoppable but unavoidable, a true force of nature. He and Levi’s relationship had been a much more gradual development. When they first started dating in high school, most people found them an odd couple. On the surface, they had nothing in common: Erwin was a blue-blood from a long line of successful businessmen and Levi was a street rat who’d bounced from one foster home to another before finally having enough and running away. Befriending Levi had been a challenge; Levi hated Erwin when they first met. He’d found the man privileged, phony, and pretentious- a symbol of all of things in the world that had rejected him.

However, Erwin had been persistent about getting to know the angrier teen, constantly making up excuses for going out of his way to see him. He’d wait for Levi outside his classes and start conversations with him, never giving up when Levi would shut him down time and time again. Eventually, Levi got tired of the effort it took to push him away. Erwin found Levi fascinating for reasons he couldn’t even fathom. He also found Levi strangely beautiful, all pale skin and brooding eyes. As he got to know Levi better through their increasingly lengthy conversations, he started to comprehend the reason he was so attracted to him. In the deepest parts of themselves that they protected from everyone else, they were more alike than he ever could have realized.They were both angry, both tired of the world around them; Erwin was rebelling against his family’s oppressive expectations, and Levi was rebelling against pretty much everything.

He remembers the first time he’d realized he was in love with Levi. The raven-haired teen had pulled out a cigarette from his jeans pocket after they’d sweated out their frustrations with the world on Erwin’s bed sheets. There was no one at home, as usual, so there was no chance of getting caught. When Erwin wrapped his arms around Levi, the smaller teen grunted before leaning back into Erwin’s embrace. Erwin smiled behind Levi’s back where the other teen couldn’t see. Before, Levi would never let Erwin hold him after sex. However, as their relationship progressed, Levi allowed himself to trust in Erwin and granted the blond more liberties. Erwin hoped that, one day, Levi would initiate the touches himself.

Levi idly watched the smoke from his cigarette swirl around before disappearing. Erwin noticed that Levi didn’t smoke often, but he figured it was more because Levi couldn’t afford to buy as many packs as he wanted rather than any effort to conserve his health. He got the feeling that Levi wanted to live like the smoke from a cigarette- drifting about aimlessly before disappearing into thin air. The thought alarmed him, and he took the cigarette from the other teen’s hands without thinking.

“What the hell, Eyebrows.” Levi was fixing him with a dangerous glare, and Erwin did his best not to look intimidated. He knew he should give some sort of explanation, but he couldn’t come up with one off the top of his head. The truth- that he wanted Levi to live longer- would definitely scare the other boy off and ruin all the progress he’d made. So he did the only thing he could think of. He put the cigarette in his own mouth so that he had an excuse not to speak.

He tried to take a drag of it the way he’d seen Levi do, but the smoke gets caught in his lungs and he started coughing violently. His arms loosened around Levi as he tried to regain control of himself, but it was no use. His whole throat burned, and he blushed, humiliated, when Levi turned in his arms and stared at his face. His thoughts ran a mile a minute as he panicked. Fuck, this was so uncool, and Levi was totally going to walk out and never talk to him again-

His inner rant came to an abrupt halt when Levi threw his head back and...laughed. Not one of those sarcastic little huffs he let out sometimes when he made fun of Erwin, but a real laugh, unguarded and surprised.

“Hahaha, oh shit- what the fuck are you doing?” Levi plucked the cancer stick from Erwin’s lips before putting it out on the ash tray that Erwin bought for him after the first time Levi had spent the night.

“You shouldn’t do things you aren’t used to, you dork.” He laughed a little again before patting Erwin’s back. “I swear to god, seeing you with a cig is like watching a choir boy trying to swear. It just doesn’t fucking suit you.”

Erwin scowled, too annoyed to notice that Levi had touched him of his own accord. “I’m not that innocent, you know.”

Levi raised his eyebrow, clearly amused. “Right. So, you’re trying to tell me that Shiganshina High’s golden boy has a dark side.”

Erwin bristled at Levi’s mocking tone. “I do, as a matter of fact.” He stood up, doing his best to not regret the loss of Levi’s body heat. He moved his arm in a grand sweeping gesture before he bit out his next words, “You ever notice how there’s never anybody else in this house?” He shook his head in disgust. “It’s because my dad’s always working. And when he’s not working, he’s at his mistress’s apartment doing god knows what.”

He continued, too lost in the words to look back at Levi. “My mom’s never here because she can’t stand to be reminded of him, but because she can’t bring herself to live without his money, she sleeps in a condo on the other side of the city.” He laughs bitterly.

“He keeps paying for it because he doesn’t want to deal with the messiness of an official divorce. Plus, I think he gets some sort of sick thrill from having that woman on the side.” He runs his hand agitatedly through his hair as his voice raised in volume.

“That’s why I decided to play the perfect son though high school and college.” His lips twisted in a cruel imitation of a smile. “I’ll wait until he officially announces that I’m the next CEO before I crush his company with my own two hands.” His eyes gleamed with a manic light, expression wild as he added, “It would be the perfect payback for him to watch everything he’s built crumble around him.” When Erwin noticed how loud his voice was in the quiet room, he came back to himself, petrified. He’d sounded absolutely insane, and there was no way to play it all off as a joke. He’d never shown that darkness inside to anyone before.

He didn’t hear Levi running out the door, but he was sure the other teen was staring at him with a horrified expression. No one would stay with a monster like him willingly. He clenched his fists. But if he was going to lose Levi anyway, it was better now than later. So he turned around, ready to face the carnage his demons wrought.

Erwin anticipated a host of reactions Levi could have had in that second it took for him to turn towards the bed- anger, disgust, fear, hatred. What he didn’t expect was the rapt expression Levi had on his face as he leaned forward on his fist. The pale boy didn’t look scared at all. He looked…ecstatic. Ecstatic that Erwin held a monster inside him and that he was the only one to have seen it. Erwin knew at that moment that he could never let Levi go, and he told the other boy as much.

So, you’re saying I’m stuck with you forever?” A slow Cheshire cat grin spread across Levi’s face as he tilted his head and said the words that would tie them together for the rest of their lives. “Hold on to me tight then.”

They met again in a flurry of fevered touches, reveling in each other’s darkness. Within that darkness, they found the place where they could belong- safe in the knowledge that no matter what, they would accept the other. Since then, he and Levi had always been together. Being with Levi was as natural as breathing; he couldn’t imagine life without him in it. It just made sense.

Loving Eren was another thing entirely. There was no logic to it at all. Before they knew it, he’d just barreled into their hearts. They were drawn to him- his kindness, his loyalty, his passion- like moths to a flame. However, instead of incinerating them with his fire once they got close enough, they found themselves being warmed. He blazed like the sun, and he breathed light into their night.

Erwin’s musings are interrupted by the tittering of some girls on a nearby bench. “Did you hear about what happened in Dr. Verman’s class today?”

The other girl groans, “Verman? I hate that guy. He’s so long-winded.” She pauses for a bit. “He _does_ have that hot TA though.”

The first girl nods sagely. “Exactly. Why do you think half of the class still goes?” They both laugh for a bit, until the second girl says, “Shit, I think that might actually be true.” They erupt in a fit of giggles once more.

When they manage to catch their breath, the girl who started the conversation spoke again, “Anyway, about his class-“

“Oh right, sorry!”

“Don’t worry about it, the story was about the TA anyway.” The other girl’s eyes widen and she looks noticeably more interested.

When she realizes that she has the other girl’s full attention, the first girl draws out the tension a bit before continuing, “Melissa asked him if he was single!”

The other girl takes on a scandalized expression, “No way! What did he say?!”

A deep voice interrupts their conversation smoothly. “I said, ‘Ms. Stonebridge, that’s not really relevant to the next exam.’”

The girls practically faint on the spot as the topic of their conversation appears behind them. His mouth is set in a firm line, but the amused sparkle in those bright eyes dull any sting the curt words may have caused.            

“Oh my gosh, we’re so sorry!”

“We weren’t saying anything bad-“

“We’re just gonna go-“, both girls rocket off in the opposite direction before they even finish their sentences, laughing the whole way. Eren watches them run off towards their next class with a wry shake of his head. “Where do they get all that energy from?” He muses out loud.

Levi speaks up, alerting Eren to their location. “Be careful, brat. You’re starting to sound like an old man.”

Eren grins, his eyes lighting up as he looks in their direction. The man looks so handsome in that moment that Levi almost swoons- not unlike those teenage girls, really. Except for the fact that he’s a grown-ass man. God, Eren makes him stupid. He takes small consolation in the fact that his idiocy is shared with his loveable oaf of a husband who is currently making googly eyes at the young man coming their way.

Eren falls into the seat they’d saved for him with a heavy sigh. “Man, I’m beat.” He exhales. Despite his words, Eren looks content.

It fills Erwin and Levi’s heart with joy to see their lover so happy. It was only a handful of years ago that Eren had been an exceptionally angry and frustrated young man. He’d graduated college with no ideas about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life; Eren is extremely passionate and used to running towards his goals with single-minded pigheadness, so for him to be aimless on such an important issue made him feel even more lost than the average person. They’d tried their best to be supportive of him, but there had been times that having not one, but two, highly successful boyfriends had grated on the younger man.

Which brought them to the reason why Erwin and Levi had driven straight from work all the way to this university campus. Eren successfully completed the first month of his PhD program. Which was an impressive feat in itself, but add to the fact that Eren was also working as an (apparently very popular) teaching assistant AND doing research for his dissertation, and there was no doubt that congratulations were in order.

Eren is unaware of the other men’s scrutiny as he loosens his tie. He throws it on the table carelessly before unbuttoning the top buttons of his shirt and rubbing at his neck, relieved to finally be free from the constricting accessory. Levi briefly laments the loss of the formal garment because seeing Eren dressed so smartly is an undeniable turn on. However, he can’t help but appreciate those exposed collarbones peeking out from the crimson dress shirt. Eren’s always looked good in crimson. Levi brings his eyes back up to Eren’s face before he starts to salivate. They can’t jump Eren where he works. Besides, they still have to go to dinner.

Eren untucks his shirt, briefly revealing his tight abdomen. Levi’s eyes trail over that Adonis belt, his mouth aching to adorn that tanned skin. Eren smooths his shirt down over his body once more, completely oblivious to the raven-haired man’s libidinous thoughts. Levi swears the brunet is secretly out to kill him. He wonders how mad his lovers would be if he just suggests they screw the dinner plans and go home to fuck instead. Eren’s shirt lifts again as he gestures excitedly to Erwin about something that happened during his class today,

Levi snaps out of his lustful haze when two pairs of eyes turn to him. The other men at the table are waiting for him to respond to…something. He momentarily considers whether he should just agree to hide the fact that he wasn’t listening, but he figures Erwin will call him out on it.

Eren huffs. “You didn’t hear a word we said, did you?”

Levi blinks. He sometimes forgets that Eren’s gotten more perceptive over the years. “Sorry. I wasn’t.”

Eren frowns. “You don’t sound sorry at all.”

Levi isn’t, and he’s about to say so when he hears Erwin clear his throat. Levi looks at the other man who’s giving him a _look._ Right. It’s Eren’s day, and Levi shouldn’t fuck this up by being an asshole.

“Sorry,” Levi shoots at quick glare at Erwin before turning back to the younger man. “I was thinking.”

Eren still looks peeved. “About what?”

Levi answers truthfully, smirking as he drags his gaze down and then back up Eren’s body. “You.”

Eren coughs before rubbing at his face quickly. Levi’s lips only turn up further because Eren only does that when he tries to hide his embarrassment. Not that it matters. His red-tipped ears give him away, and Levi’s thankful that as much as Eren’s matured, there are still traces of the little brat they first fell in love with.

“Anyways.” Eren mutters, obviously trying to change the subject. “Erwin and I were just talking about my hair.”

Levi raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? What about it?”

Erwin explains, “Eren is considering cutting it, and he wanted to ask our opinions.”

Eren bites his lip. “I think my hair makes me look too young.” Eren pulls at some of the chocolate tresses near his chin, twirling them briefly with his fingers. “I want my students to respect me,” the fingers twist the locks in frustration, “but I also want to be accessible.”

Levi keeps his eyebrow raised as he looks over Eren’s mane of hair. It’s well-trimmed because he and Erwin won’t stand for Eren looking like a shaggy mutt, but it _does_ give the brunet a youthful look that might make his teaching career a little more difficult.

Levi turns towards Erwin. “So, what did you say?”

Erwin smiles warmly at Eren before answering, “Eren has strong bone structure, so he’s sure to look good with a closer cut.” He tilts his head to the side a little, assessing. “But I quite like the roguish effect his current style has.” Erwin looks at the brunet a little longer before he leans back a little in his chair. “It’s up to you, beloved. You’re so attractive that I’m sure you’ll look wonderful no matter what you choose.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “You’re no help at all.” Contrary to his words, the younger man can’t help the goofy smile from spreading across his face. He turns to Levi expectantly. “What do you think?”

Levi leans forward, making a steeple with his fingers. He raises his penetrating grey gaze to Eren’s before reaching upwards and freeing the strands Eren has in his grip. He briefly grazes his fingers on the inside of Eren’s wrist as he pulls away, fleetingly enough that it could have been accident. He smirks inwardly when Eren’s eyes glow with heat. Personally, he didn’t give a damn what hair style the kid had. Erwin was right; over the years, Eren lost most of the baby fat in his face, making his jaw more sharply defined and his cheekbones stand out. There is no doubt that shorter hair would suit him. However, he’s rather fond of pulling his younger lover’s hair during sex, and it’s just easier when he has more to grab.

Eren’s opening his mouth to say something, and based on the fact that he’s currently fixing Levi with a look he usually reserves for the bedroom, Levi gets the feeling that they may be able to just skip dinner after all.

His hopes are dashed when a loud voice from behind Eren interrupts the moment.

“What? Don’t cut your hair, Mr. Jaeger! When you have it like this, you look like one of us!” A girl with a ponytail looks at Eren like she’s personally offended by his decision. Which is impressive, considering that she is currently stuffing her face with potato chips.

“A better dressed version,” a short boy with a buzz cut adds.

“Yeah,” A muscular blond teases, “You and Sasha have the same hairstyle.”

The shorter boy laughs, “Oh snap.”

Eren’s eyes widen. “What are you talking about?”

The blond flicks his hand over the green hair tie Eren uses to keep his hair out of his face. “Ponytail.”

Eren freezes for a second as he slowly turns to the girl, Sasha, Levi presumes. Eren stares at Sasha’s hair, brown and tied away from her face. Sure, her hair is a lot longer but…“That’s it.” Eren jumps up and slams his hands down on the table. “I’m cutting it.”

Shouts erupt from the students, all of them saying something at once, and Levi winces. Fucking loud, shitty brats. However, when he sees how animated Eren looks while he’s bickering with them, he can’t bring himself to care.

Eventually, they calm down enough to talk at a more reasonable volume. Sasha’s eyes widen, and points behind Eren as if just realizing he wasn’t alone.

“Who are these guys Mr. Jaeger?”

“Sasha!” A tall dark-haired boy who’d been quiet until now chided. “You’re being rude.”

“But Berty-“

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Berty!” The boy with the buzz-cut chimes, much to the tall boy’s chagrin.

A blonde girl with a sharp gaze interrupts flatly, “Guys.” The others quiet down, but they’re all looking at Eren expectantly and the brunet sighs.

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Eren shakes his head a little, “But this is Erwin and Levi.” He gestures to each man respectively. “They were friends of my dad’s.”

It’s not a lie. Erwin and Levi knew Eren’s dad before he died. It might be a stretch to call them friends, but they were at his funeral. That’s where he’d first met them, after all. But that was a story for another time.

Eren hates lying, even by omission, but he learned a lot time ago that blurting out that Erwin and Levi were his boyfriends just led to more drama and confusion than he wanted to deal with. Saying they were friends of his father helped explain how he knew two wealthy older men well enough to spend time with them. Besides, most people noticed his use of the past tense when referring to his father and were sensitive –or apologetic- enough not to pry.

“Hello.” Erwin has his most charming smile on his face, and Eren laughs inwardly at the stunned expressions on his students’ faces. He’s definitely been there before. He shares at look with Levi when Erwin starts talking to each person in turn, naturally enough that none of them felt left out, and grins when the shorter man rolls his eyes.

Erwin inquires about each of them politely, but with genuine interest. Sasha and Connie are tripping over themselves to answer his questions, practically star-struck. Are they all in Eren’s class? Yes, they are. Are they enjoying it? Yeah, Mr. Jaeger is pretty cool, not like some of the other TAs. Plus, he’s easy to understand! Even Connie gets his lessons and he’s pretty dumb! Hey, what the hell Sasha!?

Despite the fact that Erwin’s not being obvious about it, Eren notices that the older man, for the most part, keeps the conversation focused on his class. He thinks it’s pretty cute how Erwin is talking to his students about his teaching even though he can just ask Eren directly. Levi just watches the proceedings with a bored expression on his face until he notices that Annie’s hands are wrapped. They get into a conversation about boxing, seeming to be on their own separate wavelength. A warmth spreads through Eren’s chest seeing the harmonious way his home and his work life melds together in this moment.

Eventually though, his stomach growls, and both of his boyfriends turn his way. “Well,” Erwin says as he gets up from the table, “It was very nice meeting you all.” He smiles one of those dazzling smiles again, “But it seems that Eren is hungry, and Levi and I promised to take him out to dinner.”

Sasha opens her mouth to ask if they can come with, but her question is stopped when Connie abruptly slaps his hand over her mouth to shut her up. “Dude, shut up,” he hisses. “Can’t you see we’re interrupting?”

Levi wants to point out that they were interrupting long before now, but he chants a mantra of “Eren’s day” in his head before joining Erwin on the sidelines as Eren says goodbye to his students. Erwin and Levi walk Eren to the faculty parking lot before telling him they’ll meet him at the restaurant.

~*~

Levi looks at the clock, stunned it’s almost midnight. He supposes he shouldn’t be so surprised; after being detained by Eren’s students, they’d been late for their reservation. Not that it mattered; Erwin was friends with the owner, Dot Pixis. The old man gave them the same table as always, smiling at Eren when he sat down. Eren loved this place, and he made no secret of it. The kid loved steak, the bloodier the better, and Pixis made the best steaks in town. Erwin and Levi could easily afford to take him to a nicer place, but Eren hated all the fuss of a fancy restaurant, the expectant looks, the way people waited on him hand and foot, the “how is everything going so far”s.

After finishing their food, they’d ordered some more red wine and just talked. In between Eren’s work towards his doctorate program and Erwin and Levi’s jobs, there were days that they barely saw each other before finally turning in for bed. It was important for them to occasionally take a night off like this and just take some time to reconnect. Eren talked about how grueling yet interesting his course load was and how rewarding teaching something he loved was. Erwin and Levi talked about how Petra and Auruo’s recent lover’s spat was turning the office upside down. Levi muttered that he should just fire them already, and Eren teased him by saying that the only reason he hadn’t was because he loved them too much to let them go.

They’d ended up having such a good time that they didn’t realize the restaurant had officially closed. The poor hostess had to gather enough nerve to ask them- Pixis’s VIPs- to leave after the staff had finished their usual locking up routine. Eren had apologized profusely, not used to people standing on ceremony with him; Erwin and Levi insisted on leaving her a big tip.

When they stepped outside, Erwin had herded Eren to their car, refusing to let him drive home because of the wine he drank at dinner. Eren called him overprotective and rolled his eyes, pointing that Erwin had drunk too. However the brunet had too lovely a night to want to ruin it with an argument, so he got into the car without a fight. On the way, Eren leaned his head against Levi’s shoulder in the backseat, humming softly to some pop song on the radio. Erwin looked back at them every now and again, smiling at Levi’s content expression and their interlocked hands. When they pulled up to their driveway, Levi turned his head to murmur “we’re home, brat” into Eren’s hair.

Those aquamarine eyes look up at him before kissing his neck and eliciting a shiver from the raven-haired man. “I guess we are.” Eren whispers into his skin, low and sultry, and Levi recognizes that voice. Apparently, Erwin recognizes it too, because when he opens the door for the both of them, he brushes his fingers over both of their arms as they get out of the car, blue eyes molten.

Erwin unlocks the door, taking their coats as Levi and Eren enter the house. They tease each other with soft touches over their shoulders, pecs, and sides as they walk up to their bedroom. They sit down on the bed, Erwin placing Levi on his lap, Eren still standing at the side of the bed. Levi exhales as Eren kneels to the ground, kissing down his stomach and mouthing at his clothed cock. Erwin is warm and solid behind him, touching his chest and nipping at his throat. He tilts his head back, not only to give Erwin more access but also in response to Eren pulling down the zipper of his slacks with his teeth.

He reaches down and cards his hands through Eren’s long and silky locks, Erwin humming into his throat at the feeling of Eren massaging his calves. This is nice, Levi thinks. It’s been far too long. For the past month, as soon as Eren got home from work he’d go straight into the one of the guest rooms to study. Erwin and Levi were also busy with the preparations for the release of a new product they were announcing next month. They simply didn’t have enough time or energy to do more than cuddling and making out lately. He closes his eyes. Eren’s mouth is so wet, and Erwin chest is so warm and comfortable…His head jerks forward a little as he jolts awake. What the – No way, this is NOT happening.

Levi’s eyes widen as he feels Erwin’s jaw press against his skin. In a yawn. “Jesus H. Christ”, he mutters in horror as he yawns too. And then those sweet lips are pulling off his dick and forming an even line. He mourns the loss even as his eyelids pull down again, his body’s response to its exhaustion inescapable.

“You guys?” Eren says, his expression unreadable. Levi’s voice is stuck in his throat as Erwin rushes to explain. “I’m so sorry, Eren. The video conference with that Australian production company ran late last night and we didn’t arrive home until 1 in the morning…” Erwin’s voice trails off in a rare moment of speechlessness, unable to come up with any excuse as to why they’re too tired to make love to their extremely sexy boyfriend. Levi watches Eren’s face carefully, waiting for their younger lover to erupt in expletives, or worse, walk out and sleep in another room.

Eren rocks forward and stands in a fluid motion before looking down at the two men on the bed. It’s dim in the room, so Levi can’t quite see what kind of emotion Eren is wearing on his face. And then suddenly, to his astonishment, Eren’s face breaks into a gentle smile.

“Right, because of that worker’s strike in Sydney. I heard about it on the news. It’s probably messing with your deadline.” He rests his chin on his own hand, eyes far away as he calculates something in his head.

“Take into account how long it takes to get home from your headquarters, then add the fact that you probably had to go in early to work damage control, you couldn’t have gotten more than four hours of sleep.” He cocks his head to the side a little, eyes far away and contemplative, “You had a full- and probably frustrating- day before you drove over in rush hour traffic to see me. We talked for hours, plus all that red meat and wine…” Eren shakes his head wryly. “It’s no wonder you guys are tired.” He turns back towards them, green eyes understanding.

Levi is flummoxed. Talk about a curve ball. He finally works enough spit in his mouth to say, “Aren’t you a regular Sherlock-fucking-Holmes?”

Eren grins, his smile illuminating the dark room. “I love that show.” He states with a little wag of his index finger. “But don’t change the subject. You two should get some rest.” He kisses their slightly open lips tenderly before smiling sheepishly. “I’ll join you guys in a minute. I have to take a shower. Feel free to go to sleep without me!” And with that, Eren steps out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Levi can’t bring himself to move for several seconds, not turning to Erwin until they hear the shower running. He meets the other man’s blue eyes before mouthing the question on both their minds. “What the _fuck_ just happened.”

~*~

Levi taps his pen against the conference table as one of their financial experts drones on about some shit that he should be able to handle on his own. What the hell do they pay him for if he needs help with every little thing? “Expert”, his ass.

Normally, Erwin would have sent him a warning look by now, but it’s clear that the blond is also distracted. He signs a document absently before dismissing the other man with a careless wave of his hand.

Levi drops his pen onto the table as soon as the door closes, turning to Erwin. “Let’s just fucking admit it.”

“Admit what, Levi?” Erwin questions wearily. But judging from the fine line of resignation in that voice, Levi has a feeling Erwin knows exactly what his next words are going to be.

“We’re getting _old_.” Levi spits.

Erwin raises an eyebrow but says nothing. Levi takes that as a sign to continue. He plows on, almost angrily, “Five years- hell, three years ago, we would have ripped off his clothes and fucked him senseless, lack of sleep be damned. Now look at us. Getting drowsy from some fucking booze.” He hisses the words, disgusted, as he begins to pace around the office.

Erwin rubs at his eyes, “It wasn’t just “some booze”, Levi. We’ve been sleep-deprived for at least two weeks now.”

 Levi spins back around to jeer at Erwin, “Oh boo hoo. The fact of the matter is, we let our boyfriend take care of himself in the shower while we took a fucking nap.”

Erwin sighs. “Sweetheart, you’re overreacting-“

“Don’t you fucking ‘sweetheart’ me!” Levi cuts his hand through the air before jerking it through raven strands. “We’re growing old.” His voice gets louder. “And Eren’s going to be hanging around young co-eds all day.” Levi’s too upset at this point to hide the anxiety he feels from his face. “He only gets more gorgeous each year- He’ll have his pick.” He clenches his fists as his mind, against his will, travels to those girls on the bench, of that big blond boy touching the tie in Eren’s hair.

“Why would he stick around with two old men like us?” Levi’s quieter now, his voice more subdued.

Erwin moves to comfort him, his hand poised to rub circles onto the other man’s back. As soon as he touches the shorter man, however, Levi snaps. “I mean, did you have to order that second bottle of wine?”

Erwin freezes. He understands that Levi is just feeling insecure and he’s not really thinking about what he’s saying. He’s just lashing out because he’s angry at himself and he can’t process that right now. Erwin tries his best to listen to his more reasonable side, but he’s feeling pretty agitated too. He’s just as sleep-deprived as Levi, working just as hard. Why does Levi get a free pass to be a jackass while he always has to be the grounded one?

He stands, cerulean eyes stormy. “As least I was sober enough to drive.” His eyes narrow. “I wasn’t the one practically falling asleep in the backseat.” He smirks, twisting the knife. “I wasn’t the one who nodded off while Eren was blowing me.”

Levi snarls before jumping up and fisting Erwin’s shirt, knocking a paperweight to the ground with the rapid movement. “You son of a bitch.”

Erwin and Levi stare each other down, gunmetal eyes meeting icy blue. They eventually break apart, barely speaking for the rest of the day.

~*~

When Levi declines to go home with him, Erwin lets out a long-suffering sigh. “How are you going to get back then?”

Levi refuses to look at him, grumpily averting his eyes. “I’m not going home.”

Erwin eyes the duffle bag in Levi’s right hand. “Where are you going then?” He says the words slowly, his tone just the slightest bit condescending.

Slight or not, Levi notices it. “Gym,” is all Levi says before he turns and starts walking toward the other elevator. Erwin would have just assumed that Levi planned to inflict his rage on a punching bag until the other man adds a snide, “Going to prove that at least _I’m_ still in my prime” as he steps into the elevator.

In an extremely rare moment of immaturity, Erwin runs towards the elevator his husband currently occupies, slamming his hand in the doorway to keep it open. He leans down, making a show of bending down _very_ far, his voice deceptively calm.

“Let me drive you, _darling_. We’re heading the same way after all.”

Levi leans on the wall and crosses his arms as the elevator begins its descent. His body language reads clear as day. _Oh, it’s on now._

They sit in stony silence the whole ride there. The second Erwin parks the car, they both thrust their respective doors open, nearly tripping over themselves in their haste to get out. They glare at each other through the sides of their eyes as they race towards the glass doors, shoving each other a little when they reach the entryway at roughly the same time. To her credit, the hostess barely bats an eye when they both slam their gym cards on the counter, only asking politely if Mr. Smith and Mr. Ackerman would like a complimentary bottle of mineral water after their run. Their gym is unbelievably expensive: of course the luxuriousness of the facilities and competence of the staff have something to do with it, but the main reason why its wealthy clientele continue to pay its exorbitant fees is that the club has a reputation for being both exclusive and discreet.

Erwin, trying desperately to hide his need to catch his breath after their race from Levi, asks evenly, “No thank you,” he glances down at her name tag, “Heather. If you could though, I’d like some clothing more appropriate for exercising.” The girl nods and bows a little, as if businessmen show up to their gym without workout clothes all the time. “Of course, sir.” Levi storms off to the locker room, leaving Erwin behind to wait for the woman to ring up his new sports attire.

Erwin leaves the welcome desk as quickly as he could without being rude. When he enters the locker room, he walks in on Levi pulling his shirt over his head. His mouth goes dry at the sight of the exquisite musculature flexing underneath the other man’s pale skin. Despite their busy lifestyles, Levi makes time to do weight training at least three times a week, occasionally mixing in some capoeira, mixed martial arts, and running, and _damn_ if it doesn’t show. The sound of a throat being cleared brings Erwin’s attention back to Levi’s face. Which is currently sporting the most infuriating smug expression on his face.

Erwin refuses to appear ruffled; two can play at that game. He isn’t exactly a slouch in the fit physiques department. He holds Levi’s eyes as he pulls his own shirt up, revealing miles of tanned skin and well-formed muscle. He doesn’t need to be able to see to know that Levi’s eyes are lingering on the trail of blonde hair on his abdomen. As soon as his shirt is over his head, he lets it fall to the ground. Levi’s eyes flick towards the discarded garment before his steely gaze trails up his defined chest and broad shoulders. Each man takes a moment to stare at his husband shamelessly. When their eyes finally meet again, the heat between the two has raised to such extreme levels that the few men who walked in while they were eyeing each other had to leave the locker room because the sexual tension was highly uncomfortable. If anyone stayed long enough, the two men were likely to cause a riot. Or an orgy. One or the other.

Luckily, the two men manage to get the rests of their clothes on without provoking any incidents. They walk out of the locker room, bumping shoulders on their way to their respective parts of the gym because neither man allows the other to pass when they reached the narrow entry way.          

Erwin went straight to the bench press and Levi goes to the open area in the center of the gym. As Erwin disinfects the bar and selects his weights, his eyes wander to where Levi stands in place as he bends over to touch his toes. Levi’s wearing run-of-the-mill black athletic shorts, so it makes no sense at all why he looks so damn amazing in them. They’re not particularly tight, yet they do nothing to hide the way his backside curves to form a perfect arc. Erwin’s hands twitch with the urge to knead that perfectly round ass with his hands. He wraps his fingers around the bar and starts lifting it before he does something rash.

He doesn’t notice the way Levi watches his biceps flex as he lifts the bar up and down. Levi tears his eyes away with no small amount of difficulty to scan the amount of weight the other man has on his bar. He can’t help but admit the number is impressive. However, the amount you lift doesn’t mean shit if you can’t apply it correctly. He looks around for a barbell, pleased when the ones he wants are still available. He smirks as he sets his desired weight and starts curling the bar. When Erwin finishes his set, he heaves his upper body away from the bench until he’s sitting up. He’s greeted with a view of Levi lifting a barbell that looks almost as big as he is.

He would have laughed at how absurd a picture Levi makes right now, except the shorter man is looking at him triumphantly for a reason he can’t quite fathom. At least until he realizes Levi’s doing sets with weights that add up to 160 pounds- Eren’s approximate weight. Suddenly, the once innocent-seeming repetitions are now unspeakably vulgar as Erwin imagines that, instead of the bar, Levi is gripping their lover’s slim waist. The way that Levi lowers the bar, extending his arms all the way before isolating the movements to a 90 degree angle, slowly lifting the bar up and down, away and then towards his groin…Erwin groans, unable to hide how hot the mental image makes him.

That little bitch, Erwin thinks as he watches a victorious little grin pull across Levi’s lips- even while his heart skips a beat at that rare manifestation of happiness on Levi’s face. Not one to be outdone, Erwin grabs a pair of 80-pound free weights with each hand before curling them one at a time. Erwin’s golden skin is flushing a little with the exertion, his expression intensely determined as he concentrates on lifting each dumbbell ten times. He only makes it to eight, but it doesn’t matter. Several other gym-goers are already staring at him in awe. Levi scowls as people gape at the blond like he’s some sort of idol. Fucking Erwin. It’s so typical of him to attract admiration for doing something as stupid as lifting weights.

A petite brunette looks as if she’s gathering enough courage to ask Erwin to look at her form or some other thinly-veiled excuse to talk to him, and Levi grumbles under his breath.

He shouts at Erwin from across the room, “Oi, Shitwin. Get over here.”

He feels a dark sense of satisfaction as Erwin walks away from his adoring fans towards Levi, a question in his eyes.

Levi jerks his hand towards the treadmills. “Let’s do some cardio.”

Erwin’s eyebrows raise, but he follows Levi over without complaint.

They find two free machines next to each other and get on the conveyer belt. Levi raises his incline a little when he notices that he and Erwin set the same speed. He hears a low chuckle from his left, and he fixes Erwin with a mean side-eye.

“What?” He demands when he notices Erwin is still laughing to himself.

Erwin has a self-satisfied look on his stupidly handsome face. “You were worried.”

Levi almost trips, but he manages to stay upright. “Worried about what? Don’t be stupid.” He continues, focusing his gaze on some random point on the mirror in front of them. “If I’m worried about anything, it’s that you won’t work out your legs after all that lifting and become some top-heavy freakshow.”

Levi thinks that maybe he managed to play that off, at least until he sees Erwin’s knowing look in the mirror.

Fucking Shitwin. He increases his speed, sneering when Erwin does the same. They run in silence because they don’t have any extra breath to talk in the middle of their fierce competition to one-up each other. Neither man realizes the way they unconsciously synchronize their steps together in perfect harmony.

After a solid thirty minutes, their legs are basically jelly. When they step off the treadmills, they both almost fall over from the disorientating transition from running hard to get nowhere to actually moving when they walk. The weariness from their earlier strength training is already starting to set in, so they come to a wordless truce as they lumber towards the locker room shower, beyond exhausted.

They somehow manage to make it up the stairs before collapsing onto their bed and passing out into a dreamless sleep. When Eren returns home after going out for drinks with his friends from the same doctoral program, he’s surprised to see his lovers sound asleep already, Erwin’s arm trapped under smaller man’s head as they lay spooned together. He smiles before climbing into bed with them, pleased to see them finally resting.

~*~

The next day, the office is abuzz at how strange Erwin and Levi are acting. They’d come in at five in the morning, both looking remarkably refreshed, and started on their work immediately. Erwin called for a meeting with all the department heads- going so far as to wake up the ones who weren’t in the office yet- and demanded progress reports. If a department was behind schedule, he looked at the reports and, after determining the problem, delegated responsibilities and provided solutions. Levi shut himself in his office and began completing all the paperwork piling up on his desk. He signed and stamped papers with nearly mechanical speed and precision, occasionally barking out an order of tea to an intern. Both men are practically thrumming with impatience, and though there was some speculation about why that would be, no one has the nerve to ask them.

When they announce simultaneously that they’ll be leaving the office early, no one objects. Not only because they are the CEO and Vice-CEO of the company, but because they each easily finished the work of ten people today. They wordlessly get into the car, ignoring the questioning looks, and drive home at a barely acceptable speed. They didn’t give a damn- both men have only one thing on their minds. They’d gotten nearly ten hours of sleep last night and, after a day of kicking ass and taking names at work, they’d never felt more invigorated. Eren didn’t have a class to teach today so he’d be home in less than an hour. For the first time in a month, their schedules are clear at the same time as his.

They wouldn’t get a better opportunity. As soon as Eren walks through the door, they’re going to fuck.

Erwin and Levi wait impatiently for Eren to come home, taking turns glancing at the clock. Erwin considers calling their younger lover to make sure he didn’t make plans, but Levi stops him, keeping his eyes fixed on the door. “He’s coming,” the raven-haired man declares with an intent look in his eyes, “I can feel it.” Erwin’s been with Levi long enough to know it’s best to just trust his intuition, so he puts the phone away.

When they hear the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, Erwin can’t even bring himself to be surprised. He just shakes his head wryly and waits on the staircase for their beloved to walk up the house. When they hear the sound of keys jingling, Levi springs up, apparently tired of waiting. He yanks the door open, startling the young man on the other side. “Levi, what- mmmffff” Levi pulls Eren down by his tie, capturing his lips before tugging him inside and slamming him hard against the shut door. Eren is still confused, but he gets over his shock quickly and winds his arms around Levi’s back, moaning sweetly into his mouth. Levi smirks when he feels Eren’s hardness against his thigh. The kid’s always so easy.

Levi reaches down and drags one of the brunet’s legs up his. When the limb is high enough, he hooks Eren’s knee with his elbow, forcing the brunet to lean against the door to keep himself upright. This brings Eren’s mouth down lower so that he doesn’t have to crick his damn neck kissing the other man breathless. It also has the added effect of better aligning their hips, which he takes full advantage of by rocking against the younger man, pleased by the way Eren’s fingers dig harder into his shoulder blades.

Eren eventually breaks the kiss, desperately trying to recover from Levi’s erotic ambush. Levi, undeterred, kisses along the younger man’s jaw before nipping at the juncture between face and neck. Eren tries to pull away, gasping softly, “Not there- my students will see…” Levi bites down harder, snarling against the tanned skin. “Wear a fucking turtleneck.” Eren moans in protest, but Levi can feel the younger man’s pulse spike at the growled demand.

Levi licks, bites, and sucks as the younger man whimpers under the assault. After several long seconds, Levi pulls back to admire his handiwork, noting with satisfaction the dark bruise forming on Eren’s skin. The younger man’s eyes are closed now and without Levi supporting him he begins to sink to the ground, legs rendered completely useless. Levi looks back and smirks at Erwin, challenge apparent in those steely eyes. Erwin returns the look, unconcerned as he moves to stand in front of the young man slumped against the door.

Erwin grips under Eren’s arms, gently but firmly pulling the younger man towards his lips. Eren tilts his head up and initiates the kiss with ardent fervor, immensely turned on by how Erwin lifts him up as if he weighs nothing. While Eren winds his arms around Erwin’s neck, Levi moves behind the brunet and runs his hands along Eren’s sides, moving from chest to hip in a fluid motion. When Levi’s hands slide around Eren’s waist and brush over his groin, Eren gasps into Erwin’s mouth. Eren feels deft fingers ghost over his belt buckle before skillfully unfastening the leather from the clasp. The belt slides through the loops of his black jeans with a hiss before Levi delivers a sharp smack to his ass. “Nnngg, Levi…” he groans as he buries his head into Erwin’s chest.

Erwin looks at Levi over Eren’s shoulder, transmitting a message to his husband with his eyes. Levi nods as he lets the belt slip to the ground. As fun as spanking the kid would be, neither of them are in the mood to tease the brunet for that long. On that note, Levi yanks down Eren’s jeans and boxer-briefs down in a single powerful motion. The kid barely has any time to process it before Erwin grabs his ass, massaging the globes obscenely. Erwin’s hold on Eren lifts the young man slightly and allows Levi to untangle Eren’s legs from his discarded clothing before throwing it on one of the potted plants in the foyer.

Eren shivers in Erwin’s grasp, feeling a breeze now that his lower half is completely exposed. He’s also incredibly embarrassed at being the only one uncovered when they’re this close to the front of the house. He decides to voice his concerns, murmuring breathlessly, “We should move- we’re too close to the windows”.

Levi sidles up against Eren’s back and runs his hands underneath the brunet’s shirt. He viciously twists one of his nipples, relishing in Eren’s sharp cry before purring silkily, “What, you don’t want any of the neighbors to see you rolling your hips and moaning like a whore, Professor Jaeger?”

Eren erupts into a full body shiver at the words, and Levi pauses before smiling wickedly. Levi’s dirty talk seems to arouse Erwin as well because he starts to mouth at Eren’s collarbones, occasionally running his tongue along the slightly salty skin. Levi continues, voice dark and velvety, “What’s that, baby?” His hand grazes Eren’s cock. “You like it when I call you ‘Professor Jaeger’?”

Eren breathes shakily into Erwin’s hair, voice hardly a whisper when he responds, “Not –mmmn- not a professor yet”. Levi hums before grasping Eren more firmly. “That’s not an answer, though, is it”, he drawls the next words before pulling his hand along Eren’s length once, “…Professor.”

Eren bucks into Levi’s hand, clinging to Erwin desperately. The blond begins to unbutton Eren’s shirt so that his mouth has more room to explore, leaving the garment hanging open before returning his hands to Eren’s firm behind.

“Maybe we should have Erwin fuck you up against the window while you poke your ass out like a little slut, hm, Professor Jaeger?” Levi smirks when he feels Erwin’s tongue run across the fingers he’s placed on Eren’s nipple, sucking some of them into his mouth and sliding his tongue over and under them in a seductive dance.

“How would you like that, baby? Having Erwin’s big fat cock inside you, where anyone can see?” He slaps that pert little ass again. “You’re such a bad boy, getting so excited over something like this.” Eren’s cock is steadily leaking all over his hand, and Levi brings his hand up to his mouth to taste it. “You taste so filthy,” he whispers, as if it’s a secret just between the three of them. Eren groans, too far gone to give a damn about shame at this point. He’s so fucking wet, slick between his legs with his own precum, slick over his chest with Erwin’s saliva. He’s got to have at least ten hickeys by now, and his nipples are sore from the two older men’s combined attention.

Levi pulls his other hand out of Erwin’s mouth before circling his wet fingers around Eren’s hole. “Well, professor...how badly do you want this?” He pushes a finger just past Eren’s tight entrance as he murmurs the words. Eren bucks his hips, growling in frustration when Levi pulls his hand back. When Levi curls his finger inside him, so close but just not enough, he uses one of his hands to yank at Erwin’s hair before turning around so he can look Levi in the eyes.

His green irises are a mere memory, swallowed up by blown pupils. He whispers, “Bad enough to come without you two if you don’t fuck me soon.” The provocative words lose some of their potency with the breathy quality of Eren’s voice, but the warning behind them is clear.

Levi’s finger stills inside him, and Eren wonders belatedly if maybe he made a mistake. He tries to summon up an inkling of concern, but he can’t bring himself to give a damn. It’s been way too long, and he’s too damn worked up. He wants it fast and furious, and if Erwin and Levi aren’t in the mood to give him that, then he just needs to get them there. He seizes Levi’s wrist before rolling his hips back, sighing in satisfaction as his body swallows Levi’s finger all the way to the knuckle. Then he pulls Erwin’s mouth away from his poor, sensitive nipples and back up to his mouth, thrusting in and out of Erwin’s mouth the same way he wanted Erwin to do with his dick. The suggestion isn’t lost on the blond, who groans and tangles his hand in Eren’s long chocolate locks.

Eren hears a gravelly voice behind him snarl, “You greedy little shit.” Another finger is stuffed inside him before another he feels another stinging blow to his ass. “We shouldn’t give you anything because you’re being so bad.”

Eren breaks the kiss and laughs, “You like it when I’m bad though.” His voice is a husky rumble when he whispers, “So give me what I deserve…”

Levi shoves the third finger in at those words. “Erwin.” He barks. “Bring our boy up. We’re gonna get fucking arrested if we finish this down here.”

Eren hides his triumphant expression against Erwin’s neck as the older man puts his hand under his ass and carries him effortlessly up the stairs. They act like they want Eren to be obedient, but they almost always get turned on when he disobeys. They crave his fire, and they love it when he proves they can’t extinguish it.

Levi strips his clothes off one by one as he follows behind them, meeting lusty aquamarine eyes over Erwin’s shoulder. He’ll admit that he got distracted by the discovery of Eren’s little teacher kink; the kid is always surprising him. But the brat has another thing coming if he thinks that he’s keeping control in this situation. He smiles darkly. It’s time for him and Erwin to put their little hellcat in his place.

Apparently, Erwin’s thoughts are in the same vein, because as soon as they get into the room, he deposits Eren on the bed and unbuttons his own pants, exposing the massive cock straining against his abdomen. He doesn’t bothering taking the garment off all the way before he kneels between the younger man’s legs. Eren has no time to escape before Erwin bends him at the knees and grabs his hips, dragging his lower body to the blond’s. Eren moans at the feeling of Erwin’s hot dick against his. He tries to roll his hips up to get more friction, but Erwin holds him in place and shoots him an admonishing look. Those azure eyes tell him that he’ll get what he wants in time, so he waits.

Levi comes up behind Erwin, turning the blond’s head to run his tongue over his lips and handing him the lube. Erwin wastes no time and starts oiling up his own cock; he wants to go balls deep inside Eren right from the start and that wouldn’t be possible with just saliva. Eren pulls himself up on his upper arms so he can watch Erwin prep himself, his gaze hungry as he eyes the tool between the blond’s legs. His ass clenches in anticipation, and he can barely stop himself from touching his own dick.

So when Levi’s pale hand grips him there instead, his eyes widen in surprise. His fingers glide along his cock easily…too easily. He realizes after a second that Levi had squirted some lube onto his own palm while Erwin had been positioning him on the bed. He’s about to ask why when Levi straddles his waist, his grey eyes molten quicksilver.

“Levi, what- ahhhhhhhh!” In that second, Eren’s world explodes in white. At the same time Erwin slams his cock inside his body, Levi sinks himself onto Eren. Buried to the hilt in one of the sexiest men in the world and filled to the brim with the other, Eren throws his head back, unable to string together a coherent thought.

“Fuuuuckkkkk,” he cries when Erwin begins to plow him in earnest. Levi and Erwin move in perfect sync: when Erwin pulls out, Levi rocks down. When Erwin slams himself back in, Levi uses his thighs on either side of Eren’s body and his arms on Eren’s chest to lift himself up. Eren can’t even move himself because anything he does will only mess up the rhythm. So he concentrates on not cumming- or passing out- between the two men he loves. His eyes drink in the beautiful picture they make, Erwin’s face set in concentration as his abdomen flexes, his nails digging trenches into the flesh around Eren’s hips, Levi’s thighs clenching and unclenching as he slams his body onto Eren’s cock, face flushed as he focuses on hitting that sweet spot inside of himself.

When they release, it’s in an explosion of light and sound. Eren succumbs first, overwhelmed by the sensations being drilled into his body. His body tightens up so much that Erwin groans and lowers his head to sink his teeth into Levi’s neck before he climaxes inside the brunet. Levi’s eyes widen in shock at the conflicting feelings of pain and pleasure, not to mention the inexorable heat filling his ass, and he seizes up before cumming hard all over Eren’s chest.

Erwin runs his hands over Levi’s sides as they both ride out their orgasms. Eren’s barely conscious, his eyes currently the color of worn sea-glass as he tries to catch his breath on the sheets. Levi looks at the white trails streaking Eren’s torso and, with covetous eyes, starts to spread them into Eren’s dusky skin, marking him as theirs. Eren makes a soft sound, but otherwise does nothing to stop the other man.

Erwin carefully slips out of Eren’s body, kissing the vicious-looking bite mark already bruising Levi’s pale skin. Eren wouldn’t be the only wearing a turtleneck for a while. Levi turns his head and captures the blond’s lips with his, celebrating the afterglow with a languorous kiss. Erwin’s hands travel to Levi’s waist and helps the other man off Eren’s cock because Levi has lost the strength to do it himself. Eventually, they break the kiss and turn their attention to the brunet still lying still on the sheets.

Levi crawls over Eren’s body, gently slapping Eren’s cheek. “Oi, brat. Don’t tell me you fell asleep on us.”

Eren’s eyes regain some of their usual focus before he meets Levi’s gaze. He takes a second to remember how to speak before he answers. “Damn,” he chuckles, breathless, “Not that I’m complaining, but what the hell was all that?”

Levi smirks. “Shit, kid, it hasn’t been THAT long.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “Not what I meant, you ass.” He runs a hand over his chest. “All that.”

Levi leans back, expression shuttering a little. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

Eren’s eyes narrow. “Don’t play me for a fool, Levi.” His glare warns Levi not to interrupt him. “You- the most OCD person I know- rubbed your cum all over my chest.” He grimaces a little at the sticky feeling. “That’s some high level possessive shit right there.” His emerald eyes are suddenly filled with concern as he looks each of the other men in the face. “What’s wrong?”

Erwin and Levi look at each other, debating whether or not to tell Eren the truth. But after taking one look at those verdant orbs open with trust, they can’t bring themselves to lie.

Levi opens his mouth before he closes it again. But how do they begin? It’s all so fucking embarrassing. He turns to Erwin and orders, “Eyebrows, you do it.”

Erwin shakes his head before indulging his husband’s demand. He takes Eren’s hand, running his fingers over younger man’s knuckles. He pauses before proceeding, “You’ve reached a new and exciting stage of your life, and you’re running full speed ahead to your goals. You’re so focused on the path ahead of you that we can’t help but worry that you are leaving us behind.”

Eren opens his mouth to protest, but he stills when one of Erwin’s fingers press against his lips, imploring him to let him finish. “You’re so happy, and we’re happy for you. You’ve never looked so beautiful.” He moves his finger from Eren’s lips to skim along the side of his jaw. “But you’re still so very young.” His other fingers move to join the first, now smoothing through eyebrows, over eyelids, then back over lips. “As you come into yourself and grow more independent, we can’t help but fear the day that you realize that you no longer need us.”

Levi’s rough voice interrupts them, “You’re glowing, kid.” He stubbornly refuses to look their way, but the light blush on his face reveals his true feelings. “And there’s no way in hell we’re the only ones who’ve noticed.” He slashes his hand through his dark hair. “You’re going to be surrounded by people we don’t know every day, and at least half of them are going to notice what a great catch you are. There’s nothing to stop you from ditching two old men like us and hooking up with someone new.” He hisses the next words, almost unconsciously. “Like those little co-eds or that big blond brick of muscles.”

Eren’s eyebrows raise so high that they almost touch his hairline. He tries desperately to keep it in because he can tell his boyfriends are serious about this, and he wants to give the situation the gravitas they felt it deserved but-

His laughter escapes him, at first in a small giggle and then ripping out of him in a wave. At the look of bemusement on Erwin’s face and the glare on Levi’s, he only laughs harder. “Hahaha, oh god- I’m – I’m sorry.” He tries to get a hold of himself, but it’s no use- the sounds of his mirth fill their bedroom. “I’m sorry”, he begins again, “But you guys are ridiculous. First of all, Reiner has a huge crush on Bertholdt, so he’d never make a move on me.”

Levi is about to interrupt him, to tell him that’s not the fucking point, but Eren holds up his hand. “Secondly, I love _you_ , ‘til the day I die.” He takes both of their hands, twining them together tightly. “Forever. Everyone else will always be second best.”

“Third,” He tilts his head to the side, voice sweet. “I’m way too happy to take you guys seriously right now. Do you know how long I’ve waited to feel like your equal?” He sighs. “You’re both successful, super hot, and just generally great at everything. I’ve been trying so hard to catch up to you.” He smiles, and his eyes fill with tears of joy. “It may be shitty of me to say, but I’ve never been happier.” He grins cheekily, some tears trailing down his cheeks. “You guys can be jealous because of me for the rest of your fucking lives. I insist on it.”

His boyfriends stare at him, stunned, before Erwin throws his head back and laughs, his voice booming. “Then we’ll be jealous because of you until the day we die, Eren Jaeger.”

Levi shakes his head before pulling both their hands to bring them closer. He kisses Erwin’s lips before running his tongue over Eren’s cheek to taste those errant tears. “Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how was the Eruri, Eruri-shippers? I don't really ship it (don't get mad, I mean no offense. I'm just really into EruMike). In fact, the reason I wrote Eruri in this chapter is because I worried my love for Ereri would show up in my writing as an unfair bias. This is Eruriren, this is polyamory, this is my OT3, and I want the love to go all ways.
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long to come out, since I have a good amount of it written already. The next chapter is Day 3: Loneliness, and I hope you're ready for some angst. 
> 
> As always, I am available on my [tumblr](http://distilldiscussion.tumblr.com/). Please, if you'd like, feel free to ask me anything- even if it's nonsense. I love nonsense, as I feel this chapter clearly demonstrates. (~￣▽￣)~


	3. Loneliness/Jealous (Side B)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting into a fight with his boyfriends, Eren storms from their house. While he's out, he runs into the last person he expects- or wants- to see. His ex.
> 
>  
> 
> _"I ran into my ex/Said what up to his bestest/Now we reminiscing how we used to flex in Texas/Don't be jealous/And I hate you for your lies and your covers/And I hate us for making good love to each other/And I love making you jealous but don't judge me/And I know that I'm being hateful but that ain't nothing/That ain't nothing/I'm just jealous/I'm just human/Don't judge me/If you're keeping your promise, I'm keeping mine"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! It's been a while, I know. I apologize; this chapter took a lot longer to finish than I anticipated, for multiple reasons. 1) I had very little time to myself recently, which is why this chapter is brought to you by late nights and expresso. 2) This chapter's progression is mainly through dialogue and that's new for me. It took a while for me to figure out how to get everything to flow right. 3) ANGST IS SO HARD TO WRITE. I had a way easier time writing...whatever chapter 2 is. (Fluffysmutcrack? Crackysmutfluff?) 4) I just realized this chapter effectively doubles the length of this already stupidly long fic. *laughs/sobs hysterically*
> 
> This chapter is almost completely inspired by Beyoncé's ["Jealous"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQmYVfHrNxA) . You don't have to know- or even like- the song to read this, but I personally can't recommend it enough. It's one of the realest songs I've ever heard about a long relationship. Actually, that statement's applicable to the entire album. I recommend the entire album. There are so many "first love" and "one night stand" songs, but not nearly enough about committed, long-term relationships. Plus, the beats are dope as hell. I could easily write a chapter for any of those songs. ~~I would write the nastiest shit for "Partition", y'all have no idea~~
> 
> All jokes aside, I'm a little nervous about how this chapter will be received. I can't imagine it will be popular, but I really needed to write this- not just for the fic as a whole, but for myself.

Eren groans in frustration before throwing his phone to the other end of the couch. One month. That’s how long it’s been since he last saw his boyfriends. There was some sort of merger between their company, Survey Corp., and the massive conglomerate, Titan Co., on the other side of the country. As the CEO and vice-CEO of the company, respectively, Erwin and Levi had to be there from beginning to end in order to oversee all of the proceedings and make sure everything ran smoothly.

Eren knows the merger is important- his lovers couldn’t stop talking about it for months before the trip even happened. However, other than the fact that it would be a big game-changer for the company, Eren doesn’t know much else about it. He doesn’t care, really. Despite respecting how vital his lovers were to the company, he’d never cared much about the specifics of their job. To him, it’s just a bunch of numbers, data, and way more money than he would ever know what to do with.

Eren sighs restlessly. He’d come home from his job an hour ago, and he spent the entirety of it just spacing out the couch. His day had been awful. He works at a tutoring center, something no one, himself included, ever expected he’d be doing. The kids aren’t so bad, but the parents are another story. He’d gotten yelled at today because one of the students he taught got a C+ on his final. The boy had been failing the class all year, and the client expected Eren to be able to magically get the boy an A after a four-hour cram session the day before the exam. The kid had been in tow, standing there awkwardly to the side while his mom railed on Eren for almost ten minutes.

His boss, an intimidating (yet strangely soft-hearted) man by the name of Keith Shadis, had awkwardly patted his shoulder before telling him not to worry about it. That, considering the kid’s previous grades, a C+ was far more than anyone could have hoped for. It made Eren feel better, but not by a lot. The mom was being unreasonable, so it was easier to not take it to heart. More than her rude words though, what was sticking with Eren hours after the incident was the way the boy had avoided his gaze whenever Eren looked his way.

He throws his arm over his eyes, willing the kid’s downcast face out of his head. He considers texting his boyfriends about it, but they’re probably still at work because of the three hour time difference from East to West Coast. He groans, deciding that was enough moping for today. He swings his legs with more force than necessary to get himself off the couch and resolutely walks into the kitchen to make some dinner, something he hasn’t done much since they left. He opens the fridge and surveys the ingredients he has to work with. He frowns a little in contemplation before nodding once. “Alright! No take out tonight!” he announces to the empty room as he rolls up his sleeves to make some stir fry.

About an hour and a half later, Eren’s scooping more than half of the contents of the wok into a Tupperware container. His mouth quirks a little in an imitation of a wry smile as he thinks, _I guess I’ve forgotten how to make meals for just me._

 __Eren hasn’t lived alone since before college. Back then, he’d always cooked for himself because he was often home alone. His dad was always working late, and his mom…

Eren shakes his head, internally scolding himself for letting his thoughts take such a dark turn again. He leaves the kitchen quickly, jumping over the couch’s back and collapsing onto it in a way that Levi would have scolded him for. Eren can practically hear the shorter man’s sharp voice shouting, “Oi brat, if you put your fucking feet on my couch again, I’m going to make you wash it with your bare hands!” Eren smiles a little and turns on the TV, settling down to binge-watch some trashy shows that Erwin would shake his head at.

About halfway through the episode, Eren starts zoning out. Even with all the shouting and explosions on the screen, the house still feels so quiet. He shivers involuntarily, trying to shake off the notion that without his boyfriends, it feels colder too.

He looks at the clock again. By now, they’ve probably finished with work. He does the math again in his head to be sure. Maybe he should wait though…It’s still pretty early for them. They could be working late. Even if they’ve made it back to the hotel, Levi likes to take a shower as soon as he gets back and Erwin always makes tea for Levi to drink when he gets out, and Eren would prefer to talk to them both- dammit. Eren sighs. He hadn’t expected he’d miss them so much. When did he become so dependent on them? When did the concept of “home” become something that meant nothing without them in it?

His phone is still laying on the couch where he’d tossed it before. Eren stares it down and mutters the words “screw it” before finally giving in and dialing Erwin’s number.

He fidgets a little as he listens to the phone ring. It’s strange; he doesn’t understand why he’s so nervous. Is it because he hasn’t heard their voices in a while? Just a month ago, he would have called without hesitation, demanding an explanation as to why they weren’t home and hadn’t texted him to let him know they were going to be late. He hasn’t been this cautious since before they were official. Back then, he’d been too blown away by the fact that these two handsome, older men (who were _already married_ ) were even interested in him to question their intentions.

The phone is still ringing, and Eren wonders if they’re driving home. He is already resigning himself to calling again in an hour when he hears the tell-tale click of a call received.

“Eren?” Eren’s shoulders relax from tension he hadn’t known was there when he hears Erwin’s smooth baritone filter in from the mouthpiece.

“…Eren?” Eren jolts out of his stupor when he realizes he hasn’t said anything.

“I’m here!” He blurts, as he immediately regrets the greeting. Of course he’s here. Stupid. Eren slaps himself in the head with his free hand.

The mortification he feels is worth it when he hears Erwin’s low chuckle. “Hello, love. We were just thinking about you.”

“Hi Erwin,” Eren tries his best to steady his voice, telling himself there was no reason for him to be so nervous talking to his own boyfriend. Even if it _had_ been a while since he’d heard the other man’s voice, and Erwin’s pet name for him is making him feel a little shy. He clears his throat before starting again, “How was your day?”

He hears Erwin exhale before he breathes out the word, “…Long.” Eren’s eyes widen a little as he strains his ears harder to better hear Erwin’s voice. Now that he’s paying more attention, he can hear how tired the other man sounds. Concern floods through him and he wishes he could be there to massage the other man’s shoulders. Erwin must be exhausted if he isn’t even trying to cover up his fatigue. “We ran into some unexpected complications today.”

He hears the sound of a door slamming and some cursing in the background. “Complications, my ass! Those fuckers are playing us!” a voice growls. Even though Levi’s obviously in a bad mood, Eren can’t help but smile. He even misses Levi’s incredibly foul-mouthed and unpredictable mood swings. Man, he has it bad.

Erwin’s voice in his ear overlaps Levi’s swearing, “Is anything wrong, Eren?”

Eren starts at the concern in Erwin’s voice. “No, nothing’s wrong! Sorry if I’m disturbing you. I just- I miss you guys…It’s nice to hear your voices again.”

Eren awkwardly lets his voice trail off, inwardly cursing himself for how childish he sounds.

“I know what you mean.” Erwin agrees warmly. Eren feels a little bashful for some reason, but Erwin isn’t there to give him that knowing look, so he can’t bring himself to care.

“Geez.” Eren whines only half-jokingly, “Can’t you guys come back earlier?”

Erwin hesitates, and Eren instantly goes on alert. “Actually, Eren, that’s what we wanted to talk to you about.” There is a pause, and Eren knows whatever comes next won’t be good. Whenever Erwin pauses in the middle of a thought, he’s trying to find a more diplomatic way to say something. Which means that whatever follows needs sugar-coating. Eren hates sugar-coating.

Erwin has apparently decided what he wants to say, and he continues on, resolute. “We met some unforeseen obstacles today and they increased our workload. As much as I wish it weren’t the case, we will probably have to extend our stay here for at least another week.”

“Another week?!” Eren yells, and he can almost see Erwin cringe in the silence on the other end.

There’s some rustling as the phone changes hands and a different voice fills the receiver.

“Erwin told you it couldn’t be helped, brat. Cut us some slack.”

Eren frowns a little at Levi’s acidic tone. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just looking forward to you guys coming back soon. It’s been a whole month already.”

Levi scoffs, “I realize you don’t know this, but corporate mergers can take years. Erwin was being too optimistic when he gave you that timeframe. Based on the way those fuckers are drawing it out, it could be even longer than that.”

Eren’s heart sinks. “Longer than that?”

Levi sighs and Eren can almost hear the other man roll his eyes. “Is there an echo in here? Yes, Eren, we may have to be here longer. Sometimes things don’t go as planned.”

Eren bristles before he shouts into the receiver, “You don’t have to be so fucking patronizing!”

“Ugh, stop yelling. My head is killing me and your screeching isn’t helping any. I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m babysitting a child instead of talking to a lover.” Levi huffs.

Something shatters inside Eren then, and all the emotions that he’s been bottling up roils inside him like a quiet storm. He falls silent, trying desperately to tamp down the words that are trying to escape from his mouth. When he comes back to himself, he realizes he’s actually shaking with the effort. He grabs at his upper arms, clawing at the skin there before his grip finally loosens. When he drops his hands again, a chilling stillness has washed over his body. He’s done trying to act like an adult.

His voice comes out as a venomous whisper that slithers past his lips, almost unbidden, “I’m sorry I’m not _mature_ enough for you.” He practically spits the next words as his voice increases in volume. “But if you wanted maturity, then you guys already had each other! You didn’t need to bring me into this. Maybe this long-distance thing is easier on you guys because you’re adults and you’re there together, but I’m alone in this big-ass house. Like you so eloquently put it, I’m just a brat- I can’t help being lonely.”

Eren is vaguely aware of his hands clenching into fists as he continues, “Or maybe I’m not even human in your eyes? Because you expecting me to just wait here and wag my tail when you finally come home makes me sound like a dog.” He can’t help the poison that creeps into his voice. “Fuck you.”

Eren feels a grim sense of satisfaction when he hears the shocked silence on the other end. He thinks he hears someone- he isn’t sure who- scramble to find the right words to calm him down. But he doesn’t want to hear them.

“If you wanted a dog, then you should have known the rules.” His voice remains steady as he twists the knife, “You don’t take in what you can’t take care of.”

Eren hangs up before either of them can respond. After a beat, he lets the phone drop from his hands, carelessly discarding it somewhere on the couch.

He sighs, running his hands through his hair as he tries to make sense of all the conflicting emotions running through him at the moment. He’s furious, his anger scorching a deep burning pit in his stomach, but he also feels calm. He’s exhausted, but he also feels restless. Part of him wants to call them back and beg for forgiveness, but that part shrinks smaller and smaller as he watches the second hand on the clock complete another full circle.

His eyes narrow as he registers the time. Normally, he’d take a shower around now and settle in for the night, despite the fact that tomorrow is a Saturday and there isn’t any need for him to be up before noon. Even on the weekdays, because of the nature of his job, he doesn’t actually have to wake up early since students don’t come for tutoring until after they finish with school. He laughs bitterly when he realizes he’d become a morning person because he’d naturally matched his schedule to theirs.

Fuck them. Fuck everything. He looks at the clock again. It’s only late by the standards of senior citizens, married couples, and children, and he sure as hell isn’t any of those things. With newfound determination, he heads straight for his bedroom so he can change. Eren Jeager’s going out tonight.

~*~

After changing his clothes and styling his hair (or at least attempting to), he heads straight to Club Colossus, a popular nightclub that he’d been to a few times when he was still in college. The club has a large dance floor, attractive cage dancers of both genders, and most importantly- notoriously lax standards when it comes to carding. Now that the adrenaline’s worn off, however, Eren’s starting to regret his decision to come out tonight. It’s all too much: too expensive, too crowded, too loud. He doesn’t know any of the electronic shit they’re playing right now. He honestly isn’t sure if the DJ is playing separate songs or just one really long single.

He sighs, looking at all the barely twenty-somethings on the floor as he nurses his drink (which is neon blue for some reason). Eren has to face the facts as he watches the writhing crowd “dancing” after the drop of some dubstep hit he doesn’t recognize: he feels old. It’s weird. He can’t understand why he feels so out of place. At 24, he isn’t even that much older than most of the people here.

Eren looks down at his outfit. Looks-wise, he thinks he managed to dress the part. He’s wearing a deep crimson athletic-fit V-neck that flatters his darker skin, black boots, and dark wash jeans. He’s even managed to slick his hair back a little. He doesn’t stand out too much- at least, not in a bad way, judging from some of the looks he’s getting. No, the problem is mental. Looking at the people around him, all of them some level of inebriated and smiling without a care at their friends or significant others, Eren feels even lonelier than he did before.

When he’d been shoving on his clothes earlier in the night, he hadn’t really been thinking things through. He’d been furious, and the only coherent thought on his mind had been that he needed to get the fuck out of that house. He hates the condescending way Levi talked to him when it’s been so long since they’ve spoken directly. He hates the way they took him for granted. More than that though, he hates himself for just sitting around at home like they expected. Trying to hold out for just one more week until they came back, only to have that hope crushed.

Anger rises in him again, furrowing his brows and making his grip on his glass tighten. He looks down at the rest of the liquid before gritting his teeth and throwing it back. He grimaces. That tastes awful. Despite the fun blue color, he can tell this stuff’s pure liquor. He has to be careful, or else he’s going to go home completely shit-faced.

“Geezus, Jaeger. Wipe that look off your face before you scare everyone else off.”

Eren freezes. There’s no fucking way that he’d be here tonight of all nights. But that grating voice is unmistakable. He turns around slowly, as if the owner of said voice will disappear if wishes hard enough.

His prayers are ignored as he meets the light brown eyes of the man behind him.

“Long time no see.” Jean Kirschstein drawls.

~*~

The last time he’d seen Jean was a few months after they’d broken up. It’d been a miracle that they’d managed to avoid each other for so long; it _was_ a big campus, but he and Jean ran in a lot of the same circles. They’d broken up on bad terms, so their poor mutual friends had to do a lot of scheduling acrobatics to keep the two from meeting each other. If Eren was invited to one party, Jean couldn’t come- and vice versa.

They’d greeted each other awkwardly, with stiff “how are you”s that neither of them really wanted the answer to. Jean took the opportunity to brag about how great his job search was going and how awesome his new boyfriend was while Eren nodded his head and did his best not to feel resentful that Jean had moved on so quickly.

Just remembering that painfully stilted conversation makes Eren groan as he slams his head against the bar counter.

“What the hell, Jaeger? We don’t see each other since college and this is the way you act?”

Eren tilts his head a little to the side before muttering a reluctant “hey” to the man staring at him, offended.

“Ch. You haven’t changed a bit.” Jean grunts as he pulls himself into the barstool on Eren’s right.

By now, Eren’s simply given up on the notion of any fairness in the universe and allows Jean to sit down without any protest.

“So?” Jean raises an eyebrow at the brunet sitting next to him.

“So what?” Eren grunts noncommittally. He may have given in to sitting next to Jean, but that doesn’t mean he has to engage in conversation with the guy.

He can tell Jean is getting irritated even though he’s trying to hide it. That stupid divot in between his eyebrows always gives him away. “So, what’s making your ugly mug even uglier this lovely night?”

Eren stares at Jean blankly for a moment. He has no idea why Jean would be trying to talk to him, considering how everything played out between them. Unfortunately, staring at Jean is not yielding any answers, and Eren throws up his arms. “Am I in the Twilight Zone or something? Bartender!” He gestures the young woman at the counter over his way. “Give me another shot of this blue shit!”

He feels Jean’s gaze on the side of his face, expression halfway between pissed and confused at Eren’s reaction, but he chooses to ignore it. Because obviously, the universe is playing a big fat joke on him. How else can you explain the fact that the first time he sees his ex in two years would be the very night that he gets into a huge fight with his boyfriends? He’d laugh if it was even the slightest bit funny.

When the poor overworked bartender finally manages to make her way over to Eren, he hands her some extra bills. “Can you get one for this guy too?” Eren jerks his thumb in Jean’s direction. What the hell. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?

She smiles a little before preparing the ingredients. When she finishes, she places one glass in front of Eren and the other in front of Jean. Jean eyes the drink with the same dubious expression that Eren probably did an hour ago. “What _is_ this?”

Eren shrugs. “I’m guessing it’s something like 50% vodka and 50% mystery blue fluid. Which is probably also straight-up booze.”

Jean barks out a laugh. “What the hell, Jaeger? You don’t even know what’s in your drink? That’s just asking for trouble.”

Eren gives Jean a lopsided smirk before raising his glass up. “They called it a Blue Kamikaze. I figured with a name like that, it’d suit my purposes just fine.”

Jean shakes his head before clinking his glass against Eren’s. “You really haven’t changed at all, you suicidal bastard.”

Eren grins wolfishly before throwing the shot back. This morning, he would have been offended at the notion that he hasn’t changed since college. But right now, there isn’t anything he wants to hear more.

~*~

Thirty minutes pass and he and Jean are somehow still engaged in conversation. Strangely enough, Eren’s having a good time. Normally he finds small-talk boring, but tonight it’s a pleasant diversion from the turmoil in his own life. It doesn’t take much prodding to keep Jean talking about himself: he’s just purchased into a new flat with the money he saved from working at the law office he scored an internship at while he was in college. Eren feels a flicker of inadequacy at how satisfied Jean seems with his chosen career path, but he can’t bring himself to feel resentful. It probably helps that for once, Jean isn’t being an insufferable douche about it. He’s just excited about the new milestone he reached and he wants to talk about it. Eren can respect that. He wishes he had a similar milestone he can mention. Yeah, he moved into a new place. But moving into his boyfriends’ house isn’t quite the same as earning your own way. He frowns, angry at the additional reminder of his dependence.

Eren’s about to ask where Jean’s flat is so he can continue distancing himself from his problems when the DJ changes the song again. Eren stops midsentence, cringing.

“What is this guy’s problem? I swear he switches the song every time people are actually starting to get into it.”

Jean laughs before nodding disdainfully. “I know, right?” He gestures at the crowd standing closer to the stage. “Even the completely wasted ones look confused.”

Eren smirks before leaning in almost conspiratorially, “Not that it’s a huge loss. You can’t really dance to this shit anyway. What can you possibly do? Jump up and down?”

“I think you’re supposed to just hold your head and writhe a bit.” Jean deadpans.

Eren raises an eyebrow, but Jean manages to keep a completely straight face. The two men keep staring at each other, each one waiting for the other to break, when the best thing happens. A couple of guys on the dance floor flip up their hoodies, pull the drawstrings tight, and start gyrating their bodies spastically. It’s so close to Jean’s punchline that the two men start cracking up.

Whether it’s the booze, the late hour, or just the brilliant timing of it all, they end up laughing until there are tears in their eyes. Eren can’t help but think how nice it is, just being a doofus with someone his own age. He hasn’t really had a night out like this in a while. Once everyone graduated, it was harder to keep in touch as they all went their separate ways. Even his two best friends were in completely different parts of the world right now: Armin was pursuing his Masters abroad and Mikasa moved to California to open her own martial arts studio. Eren hadn’t realized how lonely he’d felt until now, stuck in the same place while everyone else in his life moved full-speed ahead to their dreams.

As Jean wipes at his eyes, erasing the aftermath of their outburst of mirth, he shakes his head mournfully, “Man, what happened to music. It was better back in the day.”

Eren cackles, “I can’t believe you just said that, dude! You sound like an old man!”

Jean scowls. “Fuck you, Jaeger, you know what I meant!”

Eren shakes his head. “Yeah yeah, grandpa.”

“We’re the same age, you ass!” Jean shoves Eren’s shoulder hard enough that Eren almost fell off his barstool.

Eren smirks. “I’m pretty sure horses age at a different rate than humans though.”

Jean slams his hand against the counter in outrage. “You little-”

Before Jean can complete his insult, the music stops and a voice echoes through the club.

Everyone in the room looks towards the stage where a young woman stands in the DJ booth, one hand on the cap on her head, the other on the microphone. The cap features a glow-in-the-dark depiction of the club’s mascot- a huge naked man with no skin, just muscles. Eren always thought it was a bizarre choice, but it _did_ make the club stand out from its competitors. Once she sees she has everyone’s attention, she grins and leans into the mic. “Hellllooooo party people! It is officially midnight, and you know what that means!”

Eren looks at Jean, but the other man doesn’t seem to have any more of an idea of what she’s talking about than he does. Judging by the loud cheers filling the room, however, everyone else in the club seems to know. The DJ proves she deserves her job when she shouts into the mic, unperturbed despite all the other noises threatening to drown her out. “Get ready for the time machine!”

Without any warning, the speakers begin to thrum with the bass of a throwback from the mid-2000s. Eren’s mouth falls open as he instantly recognizes the record that’s currently on the turntable. “No fucking way.” He shouts, laughing exultantly. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!”

“What the fuck, Jaeger?” Eren’s shout is too close to Jean’s ear, and the other man cringes.

Eren turns his head, looking at Jean in disbelief. “You’re kidding me right now, right? There’s no way in hell you don’t know this song.”

Jean wrinkles his nose, as if repulsed. “I don’t listen to this stuff, Jaeger.”

Eren gives Jean the stink eye, torn between incredulity and disgust. “Please don’t tell me you’re not _that_ much of a pretentious snob.”

Jean sneers. “Because I listen to _good_ music?”

Eren throws his hands up in the air. “Oh my fucking god.” He shakes his head, eyes wide. “You’re such a-”, Eren pauses. He can tell from Jean’s posture that the other man is ready for a fight. Jean lives for debates like this. He works in a fucking law office, for god’s sake. Arguing with him would get Eren nowhere.

If he wants to win, he has to go in a different direction.

Eren smiles sweetly. The change that comes over his expression is so drastic that Jean looks completely flummoxed. Eren crows inwardly. You always catch more flies with honey.

“What are you-?” Jean’s question is stopped short when Eren starts mouthing the words to the song, lip-syncing perfectly to the lyrics.

Jean’s mouth flaps open and closed like a deranged deep-sea fish, a look of complete horror spreading over his features. “What are you doing?”

Eren grins inwardly as he continues to move his lips to the music, except now he makes his facial expressions playful and exaggerated to a comical degree. When the singer on the record reaches a particularly sassy run, Eren throws up one of his hands dramatically and moves it from side to side with each individual note.

Jean shakes his head, as if disgusted, “You look so fucking stupid right now.” Despite Jean’s words, he can’t quite keep all the amusement out of his voice.

Eren rolls his eyes. Jean always tries so hard to look cool. When they were in college together, Eren always enjoyed goading the two-toned (why the hell was he still trying to pull that look off anyway) man into loosening up, usually to the point of making him look like a total dork. He’d always secretly found dorky Jean cute, and it was probably one of the reasons why, when Jean blurted out “Will you go out with me?” in the middle of one of their fights, Eren had said “sure” instead of punching the other boy in the mouth.

When the song changes once more, Eren’s eyes widen, catching the other man’s gaze. He knows for a FACT that this is one of the Jean’s favorites; he’d seen it on Jean’s “Top 25 Most Played” itunes playlist that time he’d used the other boy’s computer when he’d stayed over in his dorm room. But Jean’s still trying to play it off and Eren finds that annoying as hell. There’s no point in him acting like big shit when Eren knows full well what a dweeb Jean is on the inside. A mischievous grin slowly forms on Eren’s face when an idea takes hold in his head.

Eren jumps up so quickly that Jean falls backwards in shock. “What the hell-“

Jean stops midsentence when Eren holds out his hand, looking at the appendage like it’s a stick of dynamite. Eren wags his fingers playfully before putting his hand on his hip.

“Stop being a bitch and get off your ass.” Eren walks towards the crowd before looking back over his shoulder, fixing Jean with a challenging gaze. He cocks his head towards the dance floor, his lips pulling into a smirk. “Unless you’re afraid I’m going to show you up?”

Jean’s eyes flash with indignation. He stretches his arms over his head and makes a big show of rotating his shoulders before moving towards the other man. Eren tilts his head to the side, unimpressed.

Jean keeps moving forward until he stops directly in front of Eren. Light-brown eyes lock with green ferociously. “You wish, Jaeger.” Eren smirks as he returns the glare. For the briefest of moments, he acknowledges what a pleasant change it is that, with Jean, he never has to tilt his head up or down to look in his eyes. They’re on the same level.

They mean-mug each other for a while until Jean finally snarls and yanks at Eren’s elbow, pulling the brunet with him as he moves forward.

Jean tugs Eren towards the center of the dance floor, maneuvering them in between other moving bodies. Normally Eren wouldn’t let himself be led like this (not only is it annoying, but Eren almost has his eye taken out a few times). However, if he pulls away from Jean now, there’s a chance the crowd would separate them and he just notices that he left his phone at home. Judging from how crowded and loud this place is, the chances of him finding the other man again without the device is slim to none. Besides, he’s not even sure he has Jean’s number anymore…he may have deleted it after they’d broken up. Hell, even if he’d kept it, there’s no guarantee that Jean didn’t change his.

Jean doesn’t stop dragging Eren along until they are near the center of the room with their own small space in between dance circles or other couples. Eren can tell from the uncomfortable expression on Jean’s face that some of his bravado waned during the walk from the edge of the floor to their current location. Swerving between all the writhing bodies took a while and, by then, Jean’s song had already switched to something dancier with a stronger bass line.

Eren takes pity on the other man because (even though the song wouldn’t have changed if Jean hadn’t taken so long to get over himself and stand up) Jean is totally doing the lost-lamb thing. Moreover, his original goal of getting Jean out on the floor has already been achieved, so there’s no point in humiliating the other man further.

He wrenches his elbow from Jean’s now-loosened grip. Jean brings his startled gaze to Eren’s. Eren smiles gently, trying to make the other man feel at ease. “We can’t dance if you’re holding my arm captive.”

Eren keeps his eyes on Jean’s as he raises his arms over his head, keeping them loosely bent at his elbows. He rotates his wrists around each other a few times before he straightens his arms, moving his shoulders forward and back. His mouth quirks a little at the ash-haired brunet’s shell-shocked expression as he rocks his head to the beat. “It’s not that hard. Don’t think so much- you just have to feel it.” Without waiting for Jean’s response, Eren closes his eyes and bends his knees a little, swaying his hips to the rhythm. He tilts his face up towards the ceiling, letting the beat wash over him. When he opens his eyes again, he smiles. Jean’s moving on his own now. He still looks out of his element, but at least now his hips aren’t frozen in place.

He’s still trying too hard though, judging from his furrowed eyebrows, and his arms are hanging like limp noodles against his sides. It’s clear that Jean isn’t quite sure what to do with them. Eren moves into the other man’s personal bubble before grabbing Jean’s hands. When Jean gets out of his head long enough to meet Eren’s eyes again, Eren uses their shared grip to swing the other man’s arms around with his in wide sweeping motions. They look ridiculous and he can tell Jean is confused, but Jean has no choice but to relax his shoulders or else risk his arms getting thrown out of their sockets.

When enough tension leaves Jean’s upper body, Eren moves their arms together at a more subdued pace. “That’s better.” He leans closer so he doesn’t have to shout for the other man to hear him. “You don’t have to be so tense. If you don’t know where to put your arms, then just put them on your body.”

Eren demonstrates by hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans, using them as leverage points as he moves his hips from side to side. Jean searches Eren’s eyes, but when he finds that there’s no censure in the brunet’s green orbs, he closes his eyes and tries to just focus on the beat. After a few seconds, he sticks a thumb in one of his belt loops and runs the other through his hair as he does his own improvised steps. Eren smiles and lightly punches other man’s shoulder. “See. You’ve got it.” Jean smiles at Eren shakily.

Now that Jean’s loosening up, Eren can finally do his own thing. He follows Jean’s lead and moves his hands through his own dark locks before whipping his head around. He enjoys the breeze his own movements cause, an addicting sensation considering the heat caused by so many people in such proximity to each other. He stops right before he gets dizzy, throwing his head back. He runs his hands over his abdomen, chest, collarbones, and neck before they tangle in his own hair again, more sensually than before.

His eyes are half-lidded as he lets the music put him into a trance. He’s aware of the way people are watching him, covetous, following the suggestion of hands on his body. He can only imagine the picture he made, the green color of his eyes brighter in the strobe lights of the club, glowing with an almost feral light. Their stares are a gratifying confirmation that he still had it. When he drops into a crouch and seductively slides back up again, a small smirk pulls across his lips when he sees some of their mouths fall open. Forget that. He never lost it.

The attention doesn’t entertain him for long though, and he eventually closes his eyes, clearing his headspace. The music is so loud that he can’t hear his own thoughts, and the bass reverberates through his body so hard that he can’t feel anything else. To some people, that sensation would be terrifying, but Eren had always found something cathartic in the mindlessness of it all. It’s hard for him to explain, but dancing had always been relaxing for him, despite the wildness of his movements. As he focuses on nothing but his own body, he can feel everything leaving him- the bitterness, the sadness, the fury that brought him here in the first place.

A voice cut through his consciousness- the female DJ from before- his brain registers distantly. “Alright guys, the time machine has finally reached the 80’s. Hope you’re ready for one of my favorites.”

Shouts of recognition fill the room when the unmistakable guitar riff of Prince’s “Kiss” rings through the club. When Prince’s trademark falsetto breathily whispers the words, “You don’t have to be beautiful…to turn me on”, thrilled (mostly) female screams briefly drown out the music. Eren scans the crowd and finds Jean, who he’d accidently moved away from while he was dancing on his own. Jean’s since joined another circle, but when he sees Eren again, he pulls the other man in next to him.

The kick drum comes in, and Eren rolls his hips forward to the rhythm, biting his lip as he starts getting sexy with it. Hiseyes widen in surprise when Jean nods his head to the music before mimicking Eren’s motions. In the minutes he’d left Jean alone, the other man had clearly regained the cockiness that normally annoyed Eren to no end. Right now though, he couldn’t be more pleased. If there’s any place for an excess of confidence, it’s on the dance floor. He maintains eye contact with the ash-haired brunet and just starts straight-up singing along. It’s too loud for anyone to notice that Eren can’t sing for shit. Even if someone could, there’s no judgment here. Almost everyone in the circle is grooving to the song in their own way, all reveling in the rare experience of being able to let go of self-consciousness and shame with complete strangers.

When the song progresses to the dance break, the girl dancing across from Eren starts playing the air guitar, blushing a little when she realizes that everyone’s eyes are on her. When Eren meets her eyes and smiles before doing the same, she blushes harder. Jean digs an elbow into his side. “Lady killer,” he shouts teasingly. Eren rolls his eyes before elbowing Jean back. However, when Jean breaks out his own guitar, the glower on his face quickly melts away. During the guitar solo, both of them move their fingers fiercely as they pretend to play the chords.

Prince comes back in with “Women, not girls, rule my world”, and Eren switches his air guitar out for a microphone. He lip-synchs the words enthusiastically, encouraged by the cheers he’s receiving. When Prince starts to shriek the words, “Ain’t no particular sign I’m more compatible with”, he fell to his knees and threw his body forward, shaking his hair around dramatically. The cheers are riotous now, and Eren finishes by jerking his head back, smirking before whispering the last “kiss” of the song. When he rolls back onto his heels and stands up, the people around him clap- including people in other groups that he hadn’t known were watching. Now that the song is over, Eren’s slightly embarrassed, but he hides his blush by taking a little bow.

Eren gives Jean the side-eye before asking if the other man wants to take a break. Jean nods before murmuring, “Hell yeah, I’m beat.” Eren and Jean wave goodbye to their circle before they steel themselves to push their way off the dance floor.

After making their way through the crowd again, he and Jean collapse into a (miraculously) free booth. Each man is covered in a thin sheen of sweat, boneless now that the adrenaline from before is wearing off.

“Man, that was a fucking workout.” Jean exhales. “I think we burned off all the alcohol.”

Eren nods in agreement, pushing his hair back and cringing at the amount of sweat he felt there.

Jean mutters, “My heart is beating out of my chest. I haven’t danced like that since…well, ever, really.” He looks at Eren appraisingly. “You looked good out there. Totally at home.”

Eren laughs, a little surprised that Jean, of all people, is giving him such a casual compliment. “You didn’t look so bad yourself,” he concedes.

A cocky grin slid over Jean’s lips. “I know that’s right. Did you see how many people were checking me out?”

Eren rolls his eyes. Some things never changed: give the guy an inch and he’ll take a mile. “Alright, stud.” He croons mockingly as he waves a waitress over. “Can we get some more Blue Kamikazes, please?” He gestures towards Jean. “This guy’s buying.”

Jean straightens up quickly. “The fuck I am, Jaeger.”

Eren pins Jean with a look. “C’mon, dude. I bought the drinks from before.” He leans back with a smirk, “Besides, you should be able to afford it with your cushy office job, right?”

Jean huffs but doesn’t argue, “Fine. But if I’m buying, we’re not drinking that blue shit anymore.” He turns his attention to the waitress. “Scotch. On the rocks.” He hands her an impressive amount of bills. “Just give us the whole bottle.” He tilts his head Eren’s way and smirks. “Get ready for some real alcohol.”

Eren cringes. He isn’t a huge fan of dark liquors. But at least Jean didn’t order a round of Jaegerbombs. That joke got old fast after he’d gotten a ridiculous amount of them as birthday shots on his 21st and spent the morning after throwing the drink up.

When the waitress returns with their order, Jean hands Eren a cup before he holds up his. Eren takes the cue and clinks his glass against the other man’s, giving him a nod of thanks before throwing the drink back. He twists his mouth in disgust at the burning sensation scalding his throat. Well, no chance of him going home sober tonight. Not that it matters anyway…there’s no one waiting for him at home. He narrows his eyes at the thought, frustrated that his brain keeps returning to the same damn place, over and over, without any conscious effort on his part.

Jean finishes his glass, letting out a satisfied sigh. “That’s the stuff. _This_ is the kind of booze you can blow your cash on without shame. ”

Eren decides it isn’t worth it to fight Jean on this anymore. Once the burn subsides, it doesn’t actually taste so bad. Or perhaps Eren just appreciates the way the drink is already dulling the edges of his senses. The neon lighting that looked glaring when he first walked in is almost soothing now. The haziness adds to the surrealism of the moment- that he’s somehow sitting in a booth with his ex, having a pleasant conversation, when they could barely be in the same room without fighting while they were dating.

He looks at the bottle’s label. He doesn’t know a lot about alcohol except what he’d learned from watching Erwin and Levi, but even he can tell that this is a good scotch.

Eren swirls the contents of his glass around. “I’m surprised you can afford this stuff. Guess it pays to be a corporate drone.”

Jean scoffs. “It pays to get paid, you mean.” Jean squints as if he just remembered something. “Speaking of, I never asked what you’ve been doing all this time.”

Eren falters a little as the question he’s been dreading all night came up. Logically, he understood that he couldn’t avoid it forever, but Jean was the last person he wanted to talk about this with. In the past, they’d constantly been competing in some way or another, and he didn’t want to admit that he’s so clearly lost this battle to his old friend-slash-nemesis. He figures it’s about time to bite the bullet though, so he takes the plunge.

He looks Jean in the eyes, refusing to look ashamed. “I’m actually working at the Shadis School right now.”

Jean raises his eyebrow. “The tutoring company on Main and 53rd?”

Eren cringes inwardly. Here it comes. “Yeah.” He raises his head up higher. “I work as a tutor there.”                                                        

Eren waits for the other shoe to drop as Jean takes another sip of his scotch. When Jean only asks, “Yeah? Do you like it?” Eren can barely hide his surprise.

“Um…yeah, I mean, most days I do.” He pauses, considering the rest of his answer. “I enjoy the look of happiness that crosses a student’s face when I help them understand something they’ve been struggling with for a while.” He smiles. “You can’t beat that. The parents are something else though.”        

Jean laughs. “I bet. Parents are the worst kind of customer.”

Eren almost spills his drink when he leans forward, jumping at the chance to let off some steam about this particular subject. “Oh my fucking god, they are.” He shakes his head. “It’s like, I’m happy to teach your kid, but I’m not a miracle worker.” He laughs, “I remember this one lady wanted us to make her kid pay more attention in school. How the hell am I supposed to do that? Isn’t that your job?”

Jean chuckles, “That’s nothing, dude. This one guy wanted us to sue for emotional damages in a divorce when HE was the one who got caught cheating.” Eren’s mouth drops open in shock before he lets out a bark of disbelief.

They exchange war stories about their worst clients for a while, brothers in arms in the suffering that only people in customer service positions can understand.

Jean shakes his head after Eren finishes a story about a mother who complained her son didn’t show up because they didn’t call to remind him of his class. “That’s fucking rich. I’m glad it’s the same no matter where you go: the more money a consumer pays for your services, the more they think they have the right to treat you like garbage.”

Eren laughs heartily. “Shit, I’ll drink to that.”

Eren doesn’t even register the taste of the liquor this time. It’s so nice to be able to vent for a change. He doesn’t talk about his job much with Erwin and Levi. His lovers’ problems at the office are on a totally different scale. One “bad day” for them affects the livelihood of hundreds of employees, and Eren feels silly bringing up his work troubles after they talk about theirs. The events of his day just seem so trivial and insignificant in comparison.

Jean looks at Eren over the rim of his glass. His gaze is contemplative, and there’s something considering behind them. Eren returns the look before finally losing his patience. “What?” He demands.

Jean blinks, as if Eren had interrupted his train of thought. He covers it up well enough by chuckling a little and setting down his glass. “I was just thinking, being a teacher kind of suits you.”

Eren blinks his eyes in confusion, especially considering the fact that most of the stories he’d been telling Jean were about clients he wanted to punch in this face. “What makes you say that?”

Jean shrugs, looking a little self-conscious. “You’ve always been good with kids. Well, people, in general.” Jean adds when Eren doesn’t say anything, “I don’t know what it is about you, but you always interact with people on their level.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrow. “So, you’re saying I’m like a kid.”

Jean scowls. “That’s not what I fucking meant.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration as he struggles to put the words together. “…It’s hard to explain. You’re easy to talk to because you don’t put on airs. Kids are used to people dismissing them because of their age. But you’d never do that. You listen to people, regardless.” He finishes quietly. “You always try to meet people where they’re at.”

Eren is rendered speechless. He isn’t sure whether he should be more surprised at the magnitude of the compliment or the fact that it came from Jean.

He finally manages to say something. “Thanks.”

Jean shrugs it off, but the slight flush on his cheeks told Eren that he was a little embarrassed too.

Eren isn’t sure what else to say. He doesn’t know whether he should acknowledge how much those words meant to him or if it would be better to just laugh it off. He’s spared the decision when Jean jokes, “Besides. You weren’t so awful at teaching me how to move out there.”

Eren takes the hint and jokes back, “You’re right. If I could manage that, I’m clearly the best teacher in the fucking world.”

Jean kicks the table so that it bumps Eren’s knee. “Dick.”

Eren snickers before falling silent again. He looks out onto the dance floor, smiling gently at the sight of a girl spinning around in circles, an expression of pure, unadulterated joy on her face. The expression she wears reminds him of another woman, long brown hair spinning in an arc around her as she twirls across the hardwood floor of their living room.

He whispers, lost in memories, “My mom was a dance instructor, so I guess it runs in the family.”

Jean looks at Eren, surprised. “Really?...I never knew that.”

The smile remains on Eren’s face, but the edges become tinged with sadness. He’d never felt comfortable talking to Jean about his mom. Jean’s mother is still very much alive, and Eren used to constantly be reminded of that when Jean would excuse himself to take her calls. He’d always come back, bashful and apologetic, complaining that she was such a nag. Eren always said he didn’t mind because he truthfully didn’t. But he couldn’t help feeling a little envious of their bond, a bond that he couldn’t have no matter how hard he wished. Their love for each other was so obvious: she always called and- despite how much Jean griped about it- he always answered, without fail.

When he’d first told Jean that his mother died when he was nine, the look of Jean’s face had stuck with him for days after. Jean had looked apologetic, of course. Devastated even. But as he struggled to find the words to console Eren, he also looked the slightest bit uneasy. Jean had been really nice the entire day after, not fighting back when Eren initiated their usual banter. Eren felt so guilty and uncomfortable with Jean’s awkward efforts at kindness that he decided to never bring it up again.

Eren’s reverie is interrupted by Jean’s voice. “I guess it makes sense that you can dance like that then. It’s weird that I never found that out while we were dating.”

Eren smiles wryly, grateful for the change in conversation. “That’s because every time we spent the night together, we were always too otherwise occupied to go clubbing.”

Jean leans his head over the back on the booth, barking out a laugh. “Shit, how could I forget?” Jean grins roguishly as he pretends to reminisce. “Why did we break up again?”

Eren rolls his eyes. “Because a relationship is more than sex, you dweeb.” Eren can’t stop the smile that tugs at his lips when he hears Jean snicker.

Jean turns his head so that he can look at Eren again. “We had fun though, didn’t we?” His light-brown eyes seem the slightest bit wistful and Eren’s smile grows a little. “We did.” He confirms.

Eren lets his gaze wander to the dance floor again. A Madonna song is playing, and they’ve turned on the fog machines. It adds to the dream-like atmosphere, and Eren once again muses on how weird his night is turning out.

He turns his attention back to Jean when he hears the other man inquire, “What are you thinking about?”

Eren considers the question for a moment before responding. “I kind of feel like I’m in an alternate reality or something.”

Jean’s fixing him with a bemused look, so he elaborates, “It’s just fucking surreal, to be meeting you like this after all these years, having a good time.” He laughs, “I’m okay with talking to you about my mom, you’re giving me compliments and shit. I’m not even sure what’s going on right now.”

He chuckles to himself, unconcerned with Jean’s reaction. It’s _so_ weird. It really rubs it in that they’ve changed. Two years ago, if someone had told him that he’d one day be able to talk about their past so nonchalantly with the other man, he would have laughed in their face before potentially injuring them.

If he thinks about it, it just wouldn’t have been possible as the people they once were. He’s not as impatient and impetuous as he used to be- working with children will wring that out of you- and Jean’s not as stubborn and hardheaded. One of the biggest changes in particular about their interactions is that Jean’s really putting in an effort to listen to him.

He remembers one dusky evening when they’d been sitting together in a booth not unlike this one, waiting for their food to come out. Jean was blathering on about his internship, how one of the big shots in the firm told Jean that he had potential after he’d talked a client down from making a scene in the waiting room. Eren listened with only half an ear. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Jean’s day, but he’d had an eventful one himself.

One of his professors had pulled him aside to inform him that his paper had been chosen to be published. It was unexpected, and honestly, terrifying. Eren originally only enrolled in Creative Writing 101 to fulfill his major’s core requirement for a writing credit, and he hadn’t expected the class to be so enjoyable. He’d written in high school, but for the most part, he’d found it a chore. He’d gotten the feeling that his teachers drilled them for the sole purpose of scoring higher on standardized tests rather than any actual desire to enhance their writing ability.

He was pleasantly surprised to find his professor engaging and genuinely interested in her students’ progress and actually found himself looking forward to sitting in that classroom and just letting his thoughts flow onto the paper. He’d gushed to Jean about it before, but the other boy had only looked at him and asked Eren why he had to take that course when he was pre-med. Eren hadn’t brought it up again after that, resolving to keep the class a secret for himself, his own little rebellion.

About a month ago, the class had been abuzz with apprehension as the professor handed back the papers that would count as 30% of their grade this semester. When his professor had tapped his desk with her index finger and asked Eren to stay behind instead of giving his paper back, Eren feared the worst. He couldn’t concentrate on the rest of the lesson, practically thrumming with anxiety as he fidgeted in his seat.

When his professor told him that she wanted to submit “Her Wings”- his essay- in a competition, he’d been thrown for a loop, only managing to articulate the word “Why?”

She’d blinked at him slowly, clearly confused by the question. “Because you’re talented.” She stated, like it was a fact.

Those words wouldn’t leave his head, even when he was learning about emerging infectious diseases, even when he was watching a movie with Armin and Mikasa, even when he was with Jean, right at this moment.

He told his two best friends about it eventually, mostly because they could tell something was up with him. They’d grilled him mercilessly, so he’d admitted to them that he was starting to have doubts about his chosen career path. As soon as he’d said the words out loud, however, he panicked. Because it was crazy, right? He couldn’t just drop his plans to go to med-school to write, of all things. He’d known since he was a child that he would become a doctor, just like his father. He’d make his dad proud, maybe even happy, and carry on the Jaeger line of prestigious doctors.

But then Jean uttered the words that summed up the feelings he’d been trying to define all this time, “I feel amazing- filled with purpose, like all the things I’ve been doing until now led up to this moment. It’s as if I’ve been waiting to hear those words all my life, and I never even knew it. All those times when I wasn’t sure if this is what I wanted to do just…disappeared.”

Eren couldn’t help himself because those words had given him an epiphany. He blurted out the words that he’d been repeating in his head all day. “My paper’s going to be published.”

Jean had stopped mid-sentence, his previously bright and excited eyes dulling with confusion. He squinted at Eren, looking the other boy in the face before he muttered, “What the hell, Eren?”

Jean’s face morphed from perplexed to irritated in milliseconds. “I’ve been telling you about the best day of my life for fifteen minutes, and you’ve been sitting there as responsive as a fucking brick. And now I find out that not only are you not listening, but you can’t even bring yourself to let me finish my damn story before you talk about your own thing?”

Eren understood he’d fucked up big time, but his explanations were frozen in his mouth. How could he expect Jean to understand how much this means to him when he hadn’t been keeping Jean updated on the details in the first place? How could he tell Jean that he cared, but he was going through his own major changes right now and he wanted- no, needed- to tell somebody or else he was going to burst.

The words were all there on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t bring himself to say them. He didn’t want to fight with Jean now and ruin both of their days with an argument. Even if he told Jean what happened today, he doubted the other boy would listen. Jean was too caught up in his own world to come back down and listen to Eren. The futility of it all stopped his words in their tracks. So he said only a shell of what he meant, the only words he could manage to verbalize. “I’m sorry.”

Jean sighed heavily, looking at Eren in exasperation. “Okay”, was all he said before he finished his story. But the damage was already done. Jean recounted the events in a more subdued tone, more cautious than before. Eren listened, trying desperately to process the words and failing miserably, so he nodded his head when he felt it was appropriate.

They spent the night together, but despite the closeness of their bodies, a distance grew between them that night. By the time Eren realized how big the rift had become, it had become far too late to mend it. Far too late to go back to the way it once was.

Eventually, as they drifted further apart, Jean found someone- a new transfer student- who always loved to hear what he had to say.

He smiles gently at the thought of their mutual friend, not really thinking about his next words before he says them. “I guess it’s true that being with a good person changes someone. Speaking of, how is Marco doing?”

Jean tenses, so quickly that Eren almost didn’t see it. But Eren knew Jean better than anyone else once upon a time, and he sees that divot between Jean’s brows once more. Eren curses himself for how blind he’s been: he was so caught up in his own problems that he never considered why Jean would be here, alone, instead of with his boyfriend. It slams into him that maybe Jean’s the only one who’s changed for the better and that he hasn’t matured at all. What other explanation could there be for him to make the same mistake time and time again?

Jean clears his throat. “Yeah, he’s fine. Good, actually. He just got commissioned for a painting by this rich divorcee. She said his art ‘speaks to her’ or something.”

Eren gives a cautious smile. “I’m glad he’s still painting. He’s so talented.”

Jean nods as he takes another sip of his drink. “Yeah, he’s great.”

The song changes once more and a peppy disco hit fills the room. The upbeat nature of the song is so incongruous with the heavy mood that settles between the two men that it’s almost laughable. Almost, because the silence is deafening, so black that it sucks up the cheer around them like a vacuum.

Eren has no idea what to say. How can he ask his ex how things are going with his current boyfriend without stirring up trouble? Is it even appropriate for him to ask?

Eren is saved from the potentially precarious situation when Jean asks, “What about you? Are you seeing anyone?”

Eren hesitates, as he always does when someone asks that question. It’s not that he’s ashamed of Erwin and Levi, far from it. But there are so many reasons for him to keep his association with his boyfriends under wraps. First of all, Erwin and Levi are the leaders of a huge company, so they’re always under the public eye- not to mention how ugly society could be about homosexuality. Second, he just has no idea how to break it to people that he’s dating not one- but two- men ten years his senior.

Random people and acquaintances aside, Eren hasn’t even told Armin and Mikasa. He was so close to telling them on their last Skype conference call; he’d prepared a speech and everything. He would inform them that he moved, and when they inevitably asked for details, he’d be prepared to lead the conversation to his relationship. He predicted their questions: Full apartment or studio? Where was it? Did he have any roommates? Any of those questions easily tied-in to his lovers- the only reason he could afford to move into such a nice place. But when he played the conversation out in his head, he ran into the same problem time and time again.

His friends would be worried. Mikasa would risk the success of her new business to get on the next flight back to him; Armin would jeopardize his research to do the same. And no matter what he tried, he didn’t know how to convince them that he knew what he was doing, that this is what he wanted. That’s why, when he told them he moved recently- as according to plan, he choked at the last second and deflected their more penetrating inquiries. Mikasa and Armin weren’t dumb by any stretch of the imagination, so he knew they weren’t fooled for a second. But with distance came caution, and they willingly gave him his space, at least for now. Eren was relieved that he’d somehow bought himself more time, but at the same time, he was frustrated beyond belief that his characteristic courage was somehow failing him.

Eren hates lies. So it kills him inside to hide such a major detail from the important people in his life. Because they’re important, he doesn’t want them to worry, but at the same time, he doesn’t want them to look at him differently for dating two older men. He couldn’t find the words to explain their relationship when he could hardly explain it to himself. How to describe that instant connection he felt when he saw them, the way the world froze, the yearning he felt when their eyes met his. The way they felt so familiar.

The way they felt like home.

Eren wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, the song changing to something darker and more intimate, his guilt for making Jean look so sad in the first place, or some tangled combination of all three that makes him want to tell Jean the truth about his home life. All Eren knows is: he’s tired of lying.

“Yeah.” He begins hesitantly, “I’m dating someone. We moved in together a while ago.”

“Yeah?” Jean pours another drink, shrugging when Eren declines his offer for a glass himself. “Anyone I know?”

Eren shakes his head in the negative. “He’s older, so I doubt it.”

Both of Jean’s eyebrows raise. “Damn. Good for you.” He takes a sip of his drink, his lips twisting into a wry smirk. “He must be serious about you if he asked you to move in. A lot of older guys on the scene are just looking to play around.”

Eren smiles a little. “He isn’t- he’s one of the most stable people I know.”

Jean raises his glass towards Eren in a kind of impromptu toast before taking a sip. “As long as stable doesn’t mean ‘a wife and two kids’, all the power to you.”

Eren looks Jean in the eyes, voice steady, as he steels himself for the moment of truth. “No wife and kids.” He takes a breath. “…He is married though. To another man.”

Jean almost spits out his drink. “W-what?”

He continues to watch Jean carefully, “His husband knows about us. More than that, he lives in the house too.” Jean had just managed to swallow, but shock makes the liquid go down the wrong pipe.

Jean’s eyes are as wide as saucers, and he’s sputtering incoherently. But as Eren searches those light-brown orbs, he doesn’t find any revulsion or contempt- nothing except for bewilderment. Something blooms in Eren’s chest then, bright like a starburst. It takes Eren a while to identify it, but when he does, he can’t help the elation he feels. It’s relief, and he didn’t know how much he’d needed it until now.

Eren hides a smile behind his hand as he pretends to rub his nose. He gives Jean a second to recover before adding impishly, “He’s really sexy. I’m dating him too.”

Jean’s eyes somehow get even wider before he starts pounding his own chest, trying to dislodge the scotch from his lungs. Jean manages to choke out, “Are you trying to fucking kill me, Jaeger?” before erupting into a fit of coughs again.

Eren laughs, the sound loud and exuberant. Damn, confessing the truth felt good. He didn’t realize how much keeping his relationship secret had been hurting him until this moment. Jean’s shooting him concerned looks because he’s laughing like an insane person, but Eren can’t bring himself to care. It feels like a weight’s been lifted, and he can’t help but revel in the giddiness that’s making him feel as light as air.

Eren’s laughter has subsided to a few giggles by the time Jean finally manages to stop coughing. Jean’s looking him up and down, as if assessing something. Eren manages to calm down enough to return Jean’s look with a deadpan one of his own. He doesn’t really give a damn what Jean thinks at this point. The exhilaration he’s feeling is going a long way to making him irreverent. He raises his eyebrow at Jean, his newfound audacity clear on his face.

Jean’s silent for a while until he finally brings his eyes back to Eren’s. He searches them briefly before blankly uttering the question, “So…two guys, huh?”

Eren starts sniggering again. “That’s all you have to say?”

Jean looks exasperated, but there’s a hint of amusement in those light-brown eyes. “What am I _supposed_ to say to something like that?”

Eren lets out a snort. “Touché.” Eren bites his lip as he attempts to hold back more outward signs of amusement.

Jean shakes his head. “You’re so fucked up for laughing after you drop news like that on a guy.”

Eren tilts his head. “News like what? That I’m dating two sexy, rich, and _experienced_ men who happen to be married to each other?” He grins.

Jean rolls his eyes. “Yeah. News like that.” He brings his glass back to his lips once more. “Man, I don’t see you for a while and you’re suddenly living the life.”

Eren’s eyes narrow at Jean’s haughty tone, and his hackles start to raise. “I’m not their sugar baby, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

Jean leans back against the seat, a smirk planted firmly on that smug face. “How can you be so sure?” He ticks off his sentences with his fingers. “They’re wealthy and they support you- let you live in their fancy mansion. Then they come home after a long day of work, and- if they feel like it- they fuck you. Sounds like you’re their little pet or something.”

The words are too reminiscent of the insecurities that drove him out here in the first place and, despite all logic, it infuriates Eren to hear it verbalized by anyone by himself.

Eren stands up, his eyes blazing with fury. “Shut the fuck up.” His hands clench into fists. “Don’t talk shit when you don’t know anything about our relationship.”

Jean narrows his eyes. “I don’t get why you’re so mad, Jaeger. I’m just calling it like I see it.”

Eren slashes his hand through the air angrily. “You’re wrong!” His nails are digging deep crescents into his palms. “If I was just some plaything to them, they could easily afford to put me up in a separate apartment on the other side of town! They didn’t need to risk their marriage by keeping me in their house. They wouldn’t let me sleep in their bed.” As Eren’s rant goes on, his voice continues to decrease in volume until his voice is hardly a whisper. He can feel a lump forming in his throat and it’s getting harder to form words around it.

Jean’s look is softer now, and Eren has to avert his eyes. He feels pathetic because towards the end of his outburst, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself. If he sees anything remotely close to sympathy on Jean’s face, he won’t be able to take it.

He bites the inside of his cheek when Jean’s voice carries over to him, gentle in a way that he hasn’t heard from the other man since long before they broke up. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you upset.” Eren risks a glance Jean’s way. The other man’s hands are raised up in a placating gesture, like he’s trying to soothe a wild animal.

Jean’s mouth twists downward, apologetic. “I guess I got a little jealous. It’s kind of hard to hear your ex talk about hooking up with two ‘sexy and rich’ men after he breaks up with you.”

What’s left of Eren’s anger leaves him in a rush. With all of his heat gone, Eren feels a bit like a deflated hot-air balloon. He plops back onto the seat, eyes downcast. “No, that’s not- I’m the one who’s sorry. Of course that’s a lot to take in out of the blue. I just got so excited that I was _finally_ telling somebody.”

Jean blinks slowly. “Wait…you haven’t told anyone? Not even Armin and Mikasa?”

“Not even Armin and Mikasa.” Eren echoes sadly. “I’ve been wanting to say it for so long now, but I always chicken out.’

Jean stays silent, so Eren continues, unable to stop now that everything is out in the open. “I love them, but sometimes it’s just-“

He sighs, frustrated, unable to stop the bitterness from seeping into his voice. “I can’t tell anyone about our relationship, I can’t even hold their hands when we’re in public.”

He runs a hand through his hair as he gains steam. “And it’s not just the age difference. They’ve been together forever and it fucking shows. They just complement each other so well. They’re…perfect.” Despair creeps in to his voice. “Most days, I’m not even sure how I fit into the equation. I don’t get why they’d even pick me.”

Wretchedness makes his head heavy and he rests it in his hands. “It’s like…when I’m with them, I always have to sit up straight. I’m not playing a part or anything, but I feel like I always have to be my best self around them. I don’t know if I’m ever fully relaxed.” He falls silent as the truth of his words sinks in, something cold seeping into the edges of his vision. “I don’t know. It’s just…difficult. I never feel good enough.” He finishes lamely, self-conscious because of Jean’s lack of response.

Jean’s face is impassive as he looks over the rim of his glass at Eren. He takes another sip before he mutters, “Isn’t that kind of on you though?”

Eren straightens up, startled at the words. Jean’s eyes are narrowed, and he’s looking at Eren with something bordering on irritation. “Look Jaeger, maybe it’s not my place to say because this sounds like something Mikasa and Armin should be helping you with, but fuck it. You said it to me, so I’m going to give you my two cents.” He points his index finger at Eren. “It just sounds like you’re putting needless pressure on yourself.” Jean watches Eren and, once he sees that Eren isn’t reacting badly to his words, plows on after taking another drink.

“It’s like you said before. They could afford to give you a separate place but they wanted you to move in with them. They wouldn’t do that if they didn’t want to keep you close. They didn’t really have to complicate their oh-so-perfect lives if they if you were just some toy to them.” He shakes his head. “And the Mikasa and Armin thing is even dumber. Those two would fucking die for you, you know. I’m pretty sure they’d sever their own arms before they cut you out of their lives.”

“Done.” Jean slams down his glass like he’s dropping a mic. He looks at Eren assertively, as if he’s ready for Eren to start a fight. Eren stares at Jean, eyes wide as the other man’s words sink in. His gaze bores into Jean, unblinking, for so long that the other man starts looking uncomfortable. Jean watches Eren cautiously, as if he expects the other brunet to leap up and start pummeling him any second. When Eren finally breaks the silence, a large smile slowly spreads across his face.

“You’re right.” Eren laughs, the sound breathy and full of wonder. Eren’s shaking his head incredulously, wondering how he could have been so fucking blind. “You’re right.” He repeats before he rubs at his face.

It was right in front of him the whole time. They love him, so they want to keep him close. They love him, so they want him to wait for them at their house until they can finally be together again. There _was_ no reason why they should bring him into their lives. But the fact that they chose to do so proved just how much they really, really needed him.

It’s such a simple concept, but somehow all those days of waiting in that house alone made his insecurities warp into something ugly inside of him.

It took a new set of eyes for him to see it, but now that he has, he’s so grateful. He turns to Jean, who’s startled by his abrupt regard. He opens his mouth to thank the other man, but Jean holds his hand up. “Don’t thank me, that’s too fucking weird.” He rubs a hand over his eyes before announcing abruptly, “I need to take a leak.”

Eren cringes. “TMI, dude.” He shakes his head before he gets up to order himself a water. He wants to sober up as quickly as possible so that he can go home. He looks down at his watch. Levi and Erwin probably aren’t awake anymore, so it’s probably too late to call, but maybe he can catch them before they leave in the morning-

His thoughts are interrupted at the sound of furniture clattering. He looks around for the source of the ruckus when he sees Jean, who’s somehow fallen onto the ground.

Eren runs to Jean’s side, bending down to grab at the other man’s upper body to help hoist him up. Jean shoves his arm away with his left arm, grousing, “I’m fine, Jaeger.”

Eren’s eyes narrow before he grabs Jean again, this time trapping Jean’s arm in between their bodies. “The hell you are. Just let me help you.”

Jean struggles, but he’s not even at half his usual strength, the alcohol in his system making him woefully off-balance. Still, he tries to pull out of Eren’s grip.

Eren grunts at one particularly unwieldy shove, stubbornly tightening his hold on the other man. “What the hell is your problem, you dick!?”

Jean mutters something under his breath, but Eren can’t hear it. For some reason, however, the fight leaves Jean’s body and he gives in and allows Eren to steady him as they continue their trek to the restroom. Eren uses his body to keep Jean upright, occasionally glancing at the other man. Jean looks a little pale, and Eren resists the urge to pick up the pace. Sure, he’d be able to get Jean to the restroom faster, but it would probably be counterproductive, seeing as how Jean wouldn’t be able to keep up in his current state.

They finally make their way to the (thankfully) empty bathroom. As soon as they get through the door, Jean stumbles his way into one of the stalls. Eren waits near one of the sinks, ready to help Jean when he gets out. However, instead of hearing Jean ‘taking a leak’ like he claimed, Eren’s alarmed to hear the sound of dry-heaving instead.

Eren’s eyes widen and he walks to the stall, knocking on the door. “Are you okay in there?”

Jean groans before the heaves start up again. When they subside, he hears Jean’s voice, a little hoarse but as infuriating as ever. “I’m said I’m fine. You can leave.”

Eren shakes his head even though Jean can’t see it. “I’m not going to just leave you here, you douchenozzle. I’m going to make sure you get home okay.”

Jean doesn’t say anything more after that, only breaking the silence when he let out a groan of misery in between bouts of violent retching.

Eren leans against one of the counters, patiently waiting. He wishes Jean would let him into the stall, but he figures Jean wants to cling to that scrap of dignity. He can respect that, even though he isn’t the kind of person to hold something like this against someone.

Eventually Jean comes out of the stall, not meeting Eren’s eyes as he washes his hands in the sink. Eren turns his head so he can examine Jean. The other man looks tired but at least he doesn’t look as sick as he did before.

Jean meets Eren’s eyes in the mirror. Those brown eyes are a little muddled, but he can see a spark ignite behind them once more. “If you’re going to keep staring at me, you should at least say something. S’fucking creepy.”

Eren doesn’t react to the bait because he knows that Jean’s just lashing out because he’s embarrassed. He asks, voice calm, “What do you want me to say?”

Jean scowls at Eren’s tone, “You can laugh or something! This is probably hilarious to you, right? Karma for sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong?”

Eren’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Why would I laugh? You helped me out.” Jean breaks their shared gaze in the mirror as he scrubs more furiously at his hands, muttering something under his breath again. This time though, perhaps because they’re further away from the music or maybe because of the echoing walls of the bathroom, Eren can actually hear him. “You’re so fucking mature, huh?”

Eren’s eyes narrow, but he decides to ignore the cryptic words for now. He changes the subject, “I _am_ a little worried that you’ve drunk so much though.” He smiles a little.

“You should be more careful, we’re not as young as we used to be.” Eren meant for that to be a joke, so he’s surprised when Jean doesn’t react to the jab like he expected.

Jean looks away from the sink, his eyes piercing Eren’s almost angrily. “How the hell am I supposed to react when I run into _you_ after these years?”

Eren’s eyes narrow at the way Jean puts emphasis on the word “you”, like Eren’s some sort of plague. He’s about to shoot an insult back, consideration be damned. But his words stop in his throat at the expression on Jean’s face. He can’t put his finger on the emotion he sees there, but it’s not something he expects and he reins his anger back so he can figure it out.

“Why have you changed so much?” Jean doesn’t wait for Eren to respond. “I decide to drop by here to forget about my troubles and then, out of all the people in the world, I see you. You’re just sitting there by yourself, glaring at everyone, and it’s like I took a step into the past or something.” He stabs a hand through his hair.

“I thought we could party and bullshit like we used to, maybe reminisce about old times.” His voice becomes a little rougher. “But then you dance like that and you’re dating someone new and it’s like I don’t even recognize you anymore-“

His voice chokes out the words, and the façade of control Jean’s been wearing all night suddenly crumbles. The previously-obscured emotion behind those once-familiar eyes reveals itself to Eren, clear as day. Hurt.

Jean shakes his head miserably, “You’ve moved on and I’m spinning around in circles, still stuck in the past. How is that fucking fair?”

Eren’s eyes widen when he realizes Jean’s echoing the same sentiments he thought in his own head earlier. He’s not quite sure what’s going on though. He thinks this outburst has something to do with Marco, but he has a feeling that if he tries to bring it up now, Jean will just freak out and close in on himself again.

He murmurs soothingly, “I’m not sure where this is coming from. Why are you bringing up the past now?”

Jean growls, “Don’t you get it? Everything about tonight is because of the past.”

Eren’s confused, his eyebrows furrowing so hard that they almost meet in the center of his head. “I don’t understand. You were okay with everything.” Eren remembers their reunion, how happy Jean seemed, how great he said everything was going for him. “You were already dating Marco.”

Jean laughs harshly. “I was bluffing, Jaeger. I couldn’t date him before I got over you. He deserves better than that.” He looks down at his shoes. “I didn’t ask him out for another two months. Not that it matters. Tonight proves that I’m still fucked up over it.” His voice is quiet now, practically a whisper.

Jean looks up to stare into Eren’s eyes and his expression is raw, open. “Why did we break up?”

It’s the same words that Jean asked Eren earlier in the night, but unlike before, there’s no levity in them. Jean sounds almost tortured, and Eren realizes that this must have been bothering the other man for a while.

When Eren doesn’t answer right away, Jean shakes his head ruefully. “No, let me rephrase that. Why did you break up with me?”

Eren remembers that day well. The weather was sunny with a light breeze, in direct contrast to the black mood enveloping Eren like a fog. Jean had asked if they could meet up for dinner, and Eren had said ‘yes’ even though all he really wanted to do was curl under the covers and sleep.

It was the week after winter break. Jean’s family went to Brazil on some sort of rainforest excursion tour. Eren figured it was a rich people thing, flying to another country just to rough it out in the wilderness somewhere. Because Jean wasn’t in the States, Eren wasn’t able to reach him for the entire month. International calls were expensive, and even if Eren had been able to afford the rates, Jean wouldn’t have been able answer the phone. Putting the time difference and the fact that Jean was in the Amazon jungle aside, Jean hadn’t come out to his family and he was desperate to keep it that way. Jean usually didn’t take Eren’s calls if he was anywhere near his father. His dad was a mean son of a bitch, a typical overbearing father figure- born into old money and the traditional values that went along with it.

Eren could understand the importance of family, so he never complained about it. But not seeing Jean for an entire month really put certain things into perspective. He’d missed Jean while he was gone, but at the same time, he also felt relieved. Lately, he’d been feeling distant from the other boy. Because they had completely different majors, their classes were on different parts of campus. In addition, Jean set all of his classes in the morning so he could head to his internship in the afternoons and Eren took a lot of labs that were only available in the evening. It was difficult to meet up on campus between classes because their schedules didn’t match at all.

They did make it a point to eat together every once in a while, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to find subjects to talk about. Even between those meetings, the amount of texts and phone calls had dwindled. When they first started dating, they would text each other all the time- whether it was just about little details about their day or just to say hi. They used to keep each other up all night with their text conversations, but now they only seemed to text each other to make plans.

It wasn’t just the amount of conversation that decreased. The quality was different too. When they used to talk, they would laugh all the time. They used to fight all the time too, but lately they’d been avoiding the fights just to maintain the status quo.

With these uncomfortable thoughts winding through his head, Eren walked towards the restaurant. He stepped through the door, the tinkling of the chime alerting people to his presence. He spotted Jean in the same booth as always, talking the waitress that usually worked this shift. As Eren got closer, he heard Jean ordering the same meal he always gets- a bacon cheeseburger with curly fries. They’re in the same diner as always, in the same booth, with the same waitress and the same greasy food. He felt as if all this familiarity should be bringing him comfort, but somehow he just felt uneasy, as if all of these things were for someone else.

It was probably because this past month had been so eventful for Eren that he felt at least ten years older.

Jean smiled as Eren sat down. “Hey. Long time no see.” The other boy greeted. Eren looked at his boyfriend for the first time in a month. Jean’s leaning back against the booth, his smile roguish. He looked the same and yet somehow different. He had a bit of a beard on his face, his body tanner, his hair longer.

The smile was the same as always, but as handsome as he looked in that moment, Eren couldn’t help but feel like he was looking at a stranger.

Eren nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it has. I hardly recognized you.”

Jean grinned. “What? Because of this?” He ran a hand over his own jaw, fingers scraping along the stubble there. “Yeah, we were trying to pack light, so no razors.”

He laughed a little. “I was going to shave it before I got here, but my class ran a little late. Do you not like it?”

Eren shrugged, a smile quirking his lips. “You look all right.”

Jean winked. “Good. I might keep it like this for a while. Makes me feel rugged.”

Eren rolled his eyes. “I don’t think that’s one of the traits that people look for in a lawyer.”

Jean rolled his eyes in return. “Geezus. That’s what Marco said this morning. You’re my boyfriend, you should be supporting me.”

Eren smiled, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Jean didn’t realize it, but Marco had been sneaking into their conversations more and more often recently. Jean and Marco were both liberal arts majors, so they had a few classes together, unlike Jean and Eren’s pre-law and pre-med programs which had very little overlap.

Jean and Marco hung out a lot outside of class too, whether it was to study for their next final or just to hang out. Eren wasn’t opposed to Jean having friends. Far from it- he actually liked Marco a lot. And he and Jean were good together. Marco made Jean smile, and Marco was there to listen to Jean when Eren couldn’t.

Eren closed his eyes. That train of thought was dangerous. But he found himself traveling down it more and more often recently. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed a red scar along Jean’s forearm that he didn’t recognize.

Jean saw him staring at the cut. “Oh, this?” Jean rolled up his sleeve so his entire arm was visible. “Got it while I was walking through some tall grass I missed while I was hacking through the forest. Some of that shit is as sharp as a knife. Can you believe it? I was hacking through a jungle with a machete. I felt like Indiana Jones.” He laughed, his eyes sparkling, almost childlike in their excitement as he told Eren about the things he’d seen and done during his trip. Jean looked so bright in that moment that Eren was temporarily blinded. Somehow that light made Eren feel even darker.

Jean caught himself and stopped abruptly mid-story. “Sorry, I should have asked. How was your break? Did you do anything interesting?”

Eren almost laughed, but he stopped himself before he did. It wasn’t really funny. But Jean had asked ‘did you do something interesting?’ instead of ‘did you do anything fun?’, and that was too much of a coincidence. Eren had to get his laughs when he could. His life had been dreadfully devoid of humor lately.

Three weeks ago, he’d been at his father’s funeral.

Eren had put off coming home for a whole week after finals ended, spending Christmas with Armin and his grandfather instead. It was a quiet Christmas, and Eren only got presents from his two best friends, but it was warm there and that was more than enough. Eventually though, he had to go back home. Armin’s grandfather had long since retired, and he didn’t want to burden him by overstaying his welcome. He called his dad to inform him of his imminent arrival, but the man hadn’t picked up. So he’d driven home and pulled up to an empty house. It was nothing new, so Eren hadn’t thought anything of it. He’d gone up to his room, played some videogames, then went downstairs to cook dinner, watching a bit of TV before cleaning up and going to bed.

A phone call woke him up in the middle of the night. An unfamiliar voice asked if this was the residence of Grisha Jaeger. Eren’s blood had run cold, his instincts telling him that something was wrong. He’d been prepared for bad news, but he hadn’t expected the voice to tell him that his father was dead. Apparently, he’d suffered a stroke while he was at work. Since his father preferred to work alone, he’d been found too late for anything to be done.

The coroner said the stroke was likely caused by stress. Eren had barked out a laugh. His father had essentially died from overwork. It was so stupid. Of all the reasons for Grisha Jaeger to kick the bucket, it was his precious job. The very thing his father had used as an escape from his mother’s death was the very thing that killed him. Cosmic irony at its best.

Everything happened so fast that he didn’t even have time to process it. As the only one in the household, he had to go to the morgue to identify the body. Then he had to make arrangements for the funeral and invite his relatives- people that he only ever saw at family reunions that were ostensibly supposed to happen every year, but really only happened every three or four. Even at the funeral, he had no time to himself; there was some dispute with the will he had to settle. In the midst of all those money-grubbing monsters, he was glad that Mikasa and Armin had been there to help him through it. He wasn’t sure he would have made it without them.

After they’d put his father in the ground, his friends had stayed in his house with him, just being by his side during that tough time. He appreciated it, but eventually, he sent them home. Not only so they could be with their own families, but because he just needed some time alone.

With all of the technical details and proceedings, he barely had time to sort out his own feelings. He and his dad hadn’t been close, especially in recent years. The man was never home, and even when he was, he often holed himself in his office instead of spending time with his son.

“Eren?” Jean’s voice snapped him back to the present, and Eren brought his attention back to his boyfriend, who was staring at him with a bewildered expression.

Eren blinked slowly. “I’m sorry…what was the question?”

Jean paused, looking at Eren strangely. “I asked how your break was.”

Eren opened his mouth, automatically prepared to say that it was fine, before he snapped it shut. “Fine”? His eyes widened as he came to terms with the truth: he’d been conditioned to keep quiet about his feelings because he didn’t want to inconvenience the people around him with them. It was second nature to him now, requiring no thought or effort on his part.

He wasn’t fine at all.

He remembered sitting at the dinner table with his dad on one of those rare nights he actually got home early enough for them to share a meal. They sat in silence until Grisha had asked Eren how school was going. Eren, caught off guard this his father was taking an interest in his life, started talking about something that had been bothering him all day- a fight he had with one of his friends.

“I know Ymir is Krista’s friend, but I don’t get why she has to hang out with us all the time. When I said that though, Krista got really mad and I just-“ Eren paused for a second to look at his dad’s face for a reaction. When he did, he stopped midsentence. Grisha’s mouth was in a set line. He looked disinterested, as to be expected, but he also looked disappointed, like Eren was telling him something he didn’t want to hear.

After that, Eren learned to keep quiet. It was just easier to say everything was “fine”.

So he didn’t tell his dad about his paper being published or his misgivings about med school. To be honest, he wasn’t sure if he ever would have. If his dad hadn’t died, he probably would have just gone on to med school anyways, despite all his doubts. Now that his father was gone, however, Eren possessed a lifetime of unsaid words with no outlet. He was regretful. He was angry- both at his father for leaving him so early and himself for realizing all of these feelings too late for anything to be done about them.

In the past week that he spent alone, Eren had done his best to sort all of his mixed feelings out. He felt hollow now, but after all those days of feeling so damn much, he was actually appreciative of the numbness. He knew he should tell Jean about what happened, but to be honest, he didn’t want to. Talking about his dad again would reopen wounds that were just starting to heal.

No, Eren wouldn’t say he was fine. But he couldn’t talk about his dad either.

Looking at Jean, who was eating his burger with a fucking knife and fork- who the hell does that- stupid, brash, spontaneous, awkward, beautiful Jean, Eren knew he couldn’t keep doing this any longer. Jean was on the top of the world now. He looked so alive, so happy, so free. Eren shouldn’t keep Jean chained down in the dark place he was trapped in now.

Especially not when Jean could have someone who fit the new him so well. Eren didn’t see Jean every day, but Marco did. Jean deserved someone who was devoted to him 100%. Jean deserved someone who had his life together. Jean deserved someone bright.

Eren smiled, and once again, it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Jean.” Eren hid his hands underneath the table so the other boy couldn’t see them shaking. “Let’s break up.” By some miracle, Eren managed to keep his voice clear and steady.

Jean dropped his utensils. “What do you mean?” Eren swallowed, but he stood his ground. “I said, let’s break-“

“I didn’t ask you what you SAID. I asked what you meant. What the hell are you trying to say?” And Jean’s voice is loud, and angry, and- not that the other boy would ever admit it, hurt. His light-brown eyes are glittering with fierce emotion, and they look topaz in that fluorescent light of the diner.

Eren dug his nails into his thigh, using the sensation to distract him from the pain that threatened to rip him apart. “I want to break up.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “Things aren’t really working between us, and I just want to be alone for a while.”

Jean snarled, the sound jagged and ugly. “You want to be _alone_?” Jean practically spat the last word. Jean pushed out of his seat, those topaz eyes cutting into Eren deeper than a blade ever could. He loomed over Eren before hissing, “Fine. If that’s what you want, then you can have it. Take all the alone time you need, Jaeger. We’re done.” Jean spun around, shoving past other customers and throwing on his coat. The door slamming behind him and the lonely chime of the bell was the parting soundtrack to the end of their relationship.

Eren watched Jean through the window, keeping his face impassive until Jean completely disappeared from sight.

It was over. His first real relationship was over. Eren finally released his death grip on his legs before taking a deep breath. You did it, Eren. He told himself. The worst part is over. And this, in time, will pass. Eren took another breath, but this time it shook. He blinked rapidly, but it was no use. Tears spilled from his eyes. He brought his hands up in an effort to catch them, but they fell so quickly that there was no point. Still, he tried, and he started crying harder when he found out it was no use. Eventually, sobs wracked his body, and he did his best not to make a sound.

Somebody, probably his waitress, had left a roll of paper towels on his table. When Eren was finally able to move, he left a big tip before walking out the door. He closed it as quietly as he could. He didn’t want to hear that bell ever again.

The next few months, Jean and Eren never spent any time in the same room. Whenever Jean saw Eren, he would leave. Or if he couldn’t leave, he would pointedly ignore the other boy. Eren couldn’t blame Jean for being angry, so he decided to give the boy space. Their tense standstill somehow lasted three months, and when he finally ended up meeting Jean again, it seemed like the other man had moved on. He figured their relationship was buried and gone, and he did his best to move on too. It took him an entire year of soul-searching and celibacy to finally feel at peace with himself and the way everything ended, but at the end of that road of self-discovery, he found Erwin and Levi.

Jean’s still watching Eren, eyes intent, as he waits for Eren to answer. He speaks again, but he no longer sounds angry. “I know something went wrong, but I still can’t figure it out.”

He sounds more resigned now, and the loss and vulnerability in his voice makes Eren realize that Jean, unlike him, never really got closure from their breakup.

Eren realizes that this is an opportunity for him to set things right. He never meant to hurt Jean, at least not any more than necessary. He wanted Jean to be happy, truly happy, not just pretending that he was.

He looks Jean in the eyes and he opens that part of himself that he locked away, that person that still lived in the chapter of his life that he thought was closed.

He begins, “It’s nothing you did, Jean. There was no big moment that fucked us up. We just drifted apart and we weren’t able to fix it.” Eren exhales. “No, I wasn’t willing to fix it. I had too much pride to tell you how I was feeling. I was too afraid to look weak in front of you. I didn’t think our feelings could make a difference.” He laughs wryly, the sound self-deprecating and just a little caustic. “We always competed with each other, and I guess some part of me was never able to see you as more than my rival. Back then, we were both so damn pigheaded.”

“Maybe if you had been the person you are now, and I was the person I am now, maybe- just maybe- we could have worked it out. But the point is moot because we wouldn’t _be_ the people we are today if it weren’t for the people we met in between then and now. Marco is good for you. They’re good for me. And at the end of the day, we weren’t good for each other.” He closes his eyes. “We can chalk it up to bad timing, but at the end of it all, we’re each other’s past.” Erwin and Levi’s faces pop up in his mind. “And we’ve already found our future.”

Jean’s just listening to his words, but by the time Eren reaches the last line of his speech, Jean’s arms are crossed. “Those are pretty words, but do you expect me to fall for the “it’s not you, it’s me” spiel? Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

Eren’s eyes narrow before he mutters under his breath, “You’re lucky you’re really drunk, you fucking lush, because otherwise I would have punched you in the goddamn face.”

Jean uncrosses his arms, holding them wide open as he taunts, “Then fucking come at me, Jaeger.”

Eren understands that Jean is just hurting right now. That this isn’t really about them, that something big happened with Marco. But Jean disregarding his words is infuriating, and he’s itching to sock the other man in the face.

When Jean sees that Eren isn’t moving, he sneers. “Don’t be a fucking wuss, Jaeger.” He shoves Eren’s chest. “Fight. Me.”

Fuck it, Eren thinks, before he clenches his hand into a fist and delivers a punishing blow to Jean’s stomach.

Jean lets out a groan of pain before crumpling to the ground. Eren smirks. Jean wouldn’t know this, but sometimes Eren sparred with Levi when the other man was free. Levi wasn’t a bad teacher himself, at least when it came to fighting. He told Eren he used to get into brawls a lot when he was younger, and he didn’t want Eren walking around with “that shitty as hell form”.

Jean dry-heaves once more, and Eren cringes. He probably shouldn’t have gone for the stomach. But he figured that if he hit Jean’s face, he’d have a lot of trouble explaining it at his job. See. Eren _is_ considerate.

Eren watches Jean writhe on the ground for a bit before he asks, “Did you come to your senses yet?”

Jean mumbles some choice words before groaning again.

Eren sighs before he sits down on the tile next to the other man. “What happened between you and me wouldn’t happen with you and Marco.” Eren states the words with complete certainty.

Jean freezes mid-writhe before he whispers, “How can you be so sure?”

Eren crosses his legs to make himself more comfortable before he elaborates, “First of all, you’re not the same person you used to be. You’re a way better listener, for one, and I’m willing to bet that’s Marco’s doing.”

“Second of all, Marco’s not me.” He laughs. “The guy’s a fucking saint. He’s naturally equipped to deal with your shit.”

Jean tilts his head so that he can look at Eren’s face before he looks away. “I’m not so sure about that.” He whispers softly.

Eren looks at Jean’s defeated profile before he asks gently, “What happened between you and Marco?”

Jean curls further away from Eren, and Eren worries that maybe he pushed too hard too soon before Jean says, “We got into a fight. We were discussing our plans for our anniversary trip when my mom called. I told her I was ‘with a friend’ and excused myself from the room.” Bitterness twists Jean’s lips. “Marco didn’t like that.”

Eren leans his head on his hands as he recalls his own past with Jean.

Jean sighs. “We’ve been fighting about the same thing for months now. He wants me to come out to my family. He said if I don’t introduce him as my boyfriend, he’s going to leave me.”

Jean swallows. “I don’t want to keep fighting him on this, but he just doesn’t fucking understand. My dad is…” He scoffs. “I don’t have to explain. You know how he is.”

Eren scoffs. He _did_ know.

Jean rolls onto his back and runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. “He’d disown me in a heartbeat. I can already hear him telling everyone that he doesn’t have a son at some business owner’s fancy dinner party.”

Eren cringes. He doesn’t doubt that Jean’s dad would do such a thing, so there’s no point in refuting it. Eren has no idea what to say- he’s never been the best at pep talks.

Jean stares at the ceiling vacantly. “Marco doesn’t understand why I care so much about what he thinks. He says ‘if he really loves you, he’ll accept who you are’.”

Eren smiles, but there’s no humor in the gesture. Marco is a wonderful person- kind and sympathetic, but his parents are the new-age hippy type, so he has no idea what it’s like not to have unconditional love from a parental figure.

Jean turns to Eren blearily. “I know he’s an asshole, but I still want him to be proud of me, however pathetic that sounds.”

Jean doesn’t want to be rejected by someone he respects. Even if his dad is an unbelievable ass, Jean still loved him. Eren can relate to that, probably more than Jean even knew. But unlike Eren, Jean doesn’t only have his father.

“Your mom would accept you.”

Jean tenses, his expression half-angry, half-hopeful. “How can you be so sure?” Jean probably meant for that to sound like a demand, but it came out too quiet for it to have the desired impact.

Eren huffs. “Are you kidding me? On your 20th birthday, she drove onto campus to give you a homemade cake when she doesn’t even live in the state. If you think a woman who cares that much about the day you were born would give a damn about you being gay, you’re drunker than I thought.”

He shakes his head. “And who the hell cares if your dad disowns you. You have your own money now, so you don’t even need his inheritance. I know Marco might not be able to empathize with everything you’re going through, but it doesn’t make him any less right. Your dad’s never been there for you, so he’s not worth losing the person who always has.”

Jean frowns, and that divot appears between his eyebrows again as he considers Eren’s words. Those light-brown eyes haze over as Jean loses himself in contemplation.

When Jean suddenly sits up, Eren practically jumps up to stop the other man from falling back and getting a concussion. Eren catches the other man by his upper arms and Jean’s head falls into his chest, limp as a rag doll.

“Whoa, careful there.” Eren murmurs. Jean’s forehead digs into Eren’s collarbone as he shakes his head. “I have to see Marco…” Jean groans. “Have to say I’m sorry…”

Eren lays Jean back down on the floor before he crosses his arms. “I’m glad you’re finally seeing reason, but I can’t let you leave in this condition- you’re in no shape to drive home.”

Eren digs in his pocket before he sighs, remembering that he left his damn phone at home. “Let me borrow your cell. I’m going to call you a cab.” When Jean finally manages to hand Eren the device, Eren googles a cab service. He’s on the phone for a few minutes, making arrangements, before he stuffs the device back into Jean’s pocket.

He plops back down again to keep Jean company in his misery, nudging Jean’s head with his thigh. “The cab will be here in 20 minutes.” He scowls when Jean doesn’t react to the touch. “Hey, don’t fall asleep! I’m not carrying your dead weight out of here.”

Jean swats Eren’s leg sullenly before he shuts his eyes, voice remorseful as he laments, “I made an ass of myself tonight.”

Eren shakes his head even though Jean can’t see it. “No more than usual.” He jokes.

Jean turns his head so he can face Eren. “I’m sorry.” Eren gets the distinct impression that Jean’s not just apologizing for being a drunken mess, but he answers the same way he would have otherwise. “Water under the bridge.”

They wait in companionable silence for a while, Jean lying on the ground while Eren props himself up against the wall, before Jean says, “That was a mean right hook.”

Eren laughs, the sound echoing in the room. “I thought we might be able to get through one night without getting into an argument, but here we are, brawling in a bathroom.”

Jean laughs a little. “Just like old times.”

Eren smirks. “Except back then, you used to put up more of a fight.”

Jean points a finger too close to Eren’s face. “That’s just because I’m drunk.”

Eren scoffs. “Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”

Jean shoves at Eren’s knee before he tilts his head to look up at the ceiling again. “I missed this.”

Eren fixes Jean with a weirded-out look. “Missed what? Getting your ass kicked?”

Jean glares at Eren. “No, you dick. Well, not exactly.” Eren’s making another face, and Jean shoves the other brunet again. “Shut it, Jaeger.” He scowls. “I mean, I miss just hanging out with you like this. You were the only one who ever stood up to me. Everyone else was too afraid of my dad to do anything when I was acting like a prick.”

Eren laughs a little. “Well. Now you have Marco to call you out on your bull. And he can probably do it without giving you bruises.”

Jean’s lips quirk up wryly. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Eren looks around when he hears a familiar tune, trying to figure out where it’s coming from. He squints his eyes as he recognizes the song. “Drunk In Love?” He asks.

Jean’s blushing up to his ears as he mumbles, “That’s my ringtone.”

Eren raises an eyebrow, but he decides to spare Jean any barbs as an apology for punching him in the gut.

“Right. Well, I guess that means the cab is here.” Eren gets up, extending his arm so that Jean can grab on to it.

Jean regards Eren’s hand for a second before he takes hold of the appendage and allows the other man to help him up.

Jean can mostly walk on his own now, but Eren still slings Jean’s arm around his shoulder to make sure Jean doesn’t tip over. They make their way through the club, only stumbling a couple of times before they finally get outside.

The night air is jarring, wintery and unforgiving after the sweltering heat of the club, and his ears, which had become accustomed to the loud music inside now feels completely devoid of sensation. It’s disorienting, and Eren can’t help but feel like he’s entered a different dimension- colder and crueler than the one he left behind.

Eren looks around until he sees the distinctive bright yellow of a cab on the curb a little further down the street. He points it out and they make their way over to it. He keeps his hold on Jean until they make it to the side of the cab. Jean steps off the curb so he can get closer to the vehicle, turning around before opening the door.

Eren figures it’s about time to say goodbye, but it’s hard to find a place to begin with the night that they had. He begins awkwardly, “You should probably tell the cabbie to drive you to your place. I know you’re dying to apologize to Marco and stuff, but you should probably wait until you’re sober and call him in the morning. Plus.” He wrinkles his nose, “You probably have a better chance of the apology going well if you don’t wreak of booze. And other stuff.”

Jean grimaces, as if just remembering that they’d been sitting on a bathroom floor.

“What about you?” Jean asks. “Are you going to call them in the morning?”

One side of Eren’s lips quirks up. “Yeah. I fucked up pretty bad this time.”

Jean snickers a little. They look at each other for a while before Jean turns his attention to the cab. “I should probably-“

Eren waves his hand. “Yeah, of course. I’ll see you around.”

Jean puts his hand on the cab’s door handle, and Eren steps further away to give the cab more space to pull out. But instead of opening the door and stepping inside, he turns around to look at Eren again. Jean’s eyes are bright in the light of the streetlamp, full of emotion, and for a moment, that look reminds Eren of that day in that diner. Jean opens his mouth before stopping, his hands clenched as if he’s struggling to decide whether he should say his next words or not. Eventually though, his expression firms as he resolves to say the words on his mind.

He looks at Eren, his eyes so fierce that Eren is taken back by the fierce determination he sees roiling behind those light brown orbs.

“I’m drunk.” Jean declares.

Eren blinks slowly. “Uh…yeah, Jean, I know. That’s why I called you a cab-

“I’m drunk,” Jean interrupts, “so feel free to ignore me if you want.” He licks his lips, and Eren recognizes it as a nervous gesture.

Jean’s eyes dart to Eren’s hand. Jean stretches his out, hesitantly, before seizing Eren’s, as if he wants to grab onto the dark-haired brunet before his brain can talk him out of it.

Eren’s eyes widen in surprise, and he opens his mouth, to protest, to apologize, he isn’t quite sure.

Jean saves him from his ambiguous emotions when he begins again. “No, please, let me finish. I have to say this.” Jean’s eyes are becoming wet, but he angrily blinks them in an effort to delay the inevitable. “I know I’m probably making an ass of myself for doing this now, but I’ve been doing that all night, so a little more won’t kill me.” He bites off the last phrase, tone self-deprecating.

“Just one last time, let me take us out of the past. Then we can go back to our separate lives and never speak of this again. Please.” Jean’s voice breaks. “I need this. I need to say goodbye to you, or else I feel like I’m never truly going to move on from that moment.”

Jean’s eyes meet Eren’s, and even though they’re glistening with tears, he doesn’t look away. With a plea like that, there’s no way that Eren can do anything but reward his bravery, and he nods his assent.

Jean smiles, a little shakily, but it’s genuine. “I loved you.” He proclaims, and Eren can’t help but superimpose the Jean standing in front of him with the Jean he used to know.

“I mean, I really, really loved you. And to this day, I regret that I never told you back then.” Jean’s hand clenches around his again, and his eyes shine topaz, and this man in front of him- for the briefest of moments, this stupid, brash, spontaneous, awkward, beautiful man is _his_ Jean.

Eren swallows around the lump in his throat before he speaks, but the words still come out a bit shaky. “It’s okay, I knew.” He smiles, and his smile reaches his eyes. “You were my first love.”

Jean grins and it’s a little wobbly, but it’s also roguish and handsome and smug. He squeezes Eren’s hand one last time before letting go. “You were mine too.”

Jean’s body turns towards the cab, but his eyes stay on Eren when he says his farewell. “Goodbye, Eren.”

Eren refuses to open his mouth, because he knows that if he says anything, his voice will break. He watches as Jean gets into the cab without looking back, saying an address to the cabbie and shutting the door. Eren’s eyes continue to follow the yellow car as it disappears from his sight, just like he watched Jean disappear from his life back then.

This time though, there’s no bell, only that deafening silence. With his ears overstimulated from the club, the quiet night feels even more desolate. He stands alone on that curb for a while, mind completely blank as he hears Jean’s last words in his mind over and over again.

A bleak smile crosses his face before he whispers, “You’re a bad man for only using my name when you say goodbye, Jean Kirschstein.” He means to laugh, but it comes out as a sob. Something shatters in his chest then, and suddenly tears are streaming down his face, unrelenting. He swipes his hands over his face, but they’re numb from the cold and do nothing to comfort him.

He’s overwhelmed with a sense of loss, and with that loss came the emptiness. He suddenly gets the desperate urge to see the only two people who can put him back together. He could wait for another cab, but restlessness claws at his insides, making him unable to wait that long. The cold air does a lot to sober him up, and he starts running towards the nearest subway entrance.

His legs strike the pavement in a rapid staccato rhythm. His mind is blank, laser-focused on one thought and one thought only: his need to get home. The wind nips at his exposed arms and face, but adrenaline keeps him warm. As he leaps down the stairs leading underground, he’s pleased to see that by no small stroke of luck, the subway he needs is currently in the station.

The subway is basically empty on account of the late hour, so he takes a seat next to the window and leans his head against it. His heart is still beating fast and his body is surging with energy, but he’s completely drained mentally and emotionally, so he just watches the scenery outside vacantly as he waits to reach his stop.

~*~

Eren stands in front of the house, digging for his keys in his pocket. No, he corrects. His home. He steps inside, and what felt so empty before is suddenly so inviting. He runs a hand through his wind-swept hair as he passes by a mirror hanging on the wall. He looks at himself for moment, trying to see if any of the changes he felt inside are reflected on the outside.

His inspection is interrupted when he hears his cellphone ring, and he follows the sound to where he’d left it on the couch. He looks at the caller ID, surprised to see it read “Levi”.

He picks up immediately, shocked when he hears his boyfriend bark, “Where the hell were you?”

Eren hears Erwin’s voice in the background chide reproachfully, “Calm down, darling. This isn’t an interrogation.”

“Shut the hell up, Eyebrows.” Eren hears a thudding sound, and he winces, figuring that Levi probably wacked the large blond. Levi’s even voice fills the receiver once more. “Where. Were. You.”

Eren hears a beep next to his ear so he pulls the phone far enough away to look at the screen. “Low Battery 1% Remaining”, his phone informed him.

Alarmed, he brings the phone back to his ear again before he responds to Levi’s inquiry. “I’m sorry, my phone’s about to die and I don’t want you to think I’m hanging up on you but it’s really going to shut off any second-“

Levi interrupts Eren’s word vomit curtly. “Get on Skype.” He orders before hanging up.

Eren blinks at Levi’s abrupt words before looking down at his phone again. He could’ve sworn he’s charged it to full only an hour before he left earlier. He has no idea why the battery would be so low when he hasn’t been using his phone all night.

His eyes widen when he looks at the notifications on the screen. 19 missed calls. 43 unread texts. 10 unheard voice mails.

Eren hurries to their bedroom so he can plug his phone in. Once the screen flickers on again, he starts scrolling through the notifications. With the exception of a text from his boss, all the missed communications were from Erwin and Levi.

He opens his texts and clicks on Erwin’s name, skimming through a few of the messages there:

**[Received 9:31 p.m.]** _Eren, please don’t be upset._

**[Received 11:45 p.m.]** _Could you call us back? We really want to speak to you._

**[Received 1:23 a.m.]** _Are you alright?_

**[Received 2:48 a.m.]** _Eren, please call us back. Or, if you don’t want to speak to us, at least let us know that you’re okay._

He clicks on Levi’s name:

**[Received 9:05 p.m.]** _Shitty brat, pick up._

**[Received 10:21 p.m.]** _Brat, I’m serious._

**[Received 11:37 p.m.]** _Answer the damn phone._

**[Received 2:39 a.m.]** _Eren, if you don’t call us back in ten minutes, I’m taking the next flight back so I can kick your ass._

Eren smiles, overcome with emotion. He feels guilty about making his boyfriends worry so much, but a part of him- the petty, vindictive part- also feels satisfied. He blinks in surprise when his phone beeps again.

**[Received 3:26 a.m.] _Did you get lost on the way to the computer or what?_**

Eren rolls his eyes before grabbing his laptop off of the bedside table and opening Skype. Immediately after his icon indicates that he’s active, he gets a video call.

Eren accepts the call, and his boyfriends’ faces appear on the screen. It’s so wonderful to see them, and he can’t help the smile that crosses his face. They look perfect, as usual, but they also look tired, and guilt slaps him in the face again.

Levi is not smiling. He repeats, “Where were you?” It _almost_ doesn’t sound like an interrogation, and Eren suspects that Erwin talked to Levi while they were waiting for him to log in. Those sharp grey eyes scan his clothes, his face, his hair, as if searching for clues or taking inventory for injuries.

Eren doesn’t get angry because when he looks into Levi’s eyes, he can still see worry there. “I’m sorry. I went out, and I accidently left my phone at home.”

“And what did you do while you were out, Eren?” Levi’s voice is smooth and his expression is neutral, but Eren sees the way those grey eyes are looking over his clothes, eyes lingering on the crimson V-neck and how well it fits him. He remembers absently that Levi bought this shirt for him.

Eren can’t quite tell how Levi’s feeling right now, so he answers cautiously, “I met an old friend at the club, and we just talked and danced a little.”

Levi narrows his eyes, that previously impassive gaze suddenly sharp. “You danced?”

Eren blinks slowly. “Yeah, it was a club so…” Oh. Eren gets it now. “I didn’t dance like that with him, Levi. I’d never dance like that with anyone but you or Erwin.”

Levi’s eyes flash. “You better not have.” He growls.

Erwin clears his throat. “I think what Levi is trying to say is that, when you wouldn’t answer our calls, we were concerned that something might have happened to you.”

Eren nods before he apologizes earnestly, “I’m sorry. And not just about leaving my phone at home; I’m sorry about the way I acted earlier. I know you guys are trying your best, and I should have been more supportive. You guys have work tomorrow too. I’m sorry for worrying you and keeping you up so late-“

Levi holds up his hand. “Stop talking about work, kid.” He sighs, irritated.  
“Those Titan a-holes fucked up the contract, but I shouldn’t have been taking it out on you.”

Erwin murmurs softly, “You don’t have to apologize, Eren.” He looks directly into Eren’s eyes, steadily conveying his sincerity, “We were so caught up in all our business here that we didn’t consider your feelings.”

Erwin closes his eyes and Eren can see the dark circles under them. “We could tell that you were frustrated because you’re unsure of your next big goal in life. I was the one who decided that we should give you more space to think. I thought if we called you too often, we would end up smothering you because you’re so independent.”

His voice comes out low with regret. “But I didn’t realize that our lack of communication was making you feel lonely. I’m so sorry, beloved.”

Levi rakes a hand through his hair. “We didn’t mean to make you feel like you were a bother.”

Eren’s heart warms, relieved to the reminder that Erwin and Levi thought about him even when they were apart. He smiles sweetly as he feels the shattered pieces of his heart start to mend.

He could just take the easy way out and leave it there, accepting his lovers’ apologies and burying this in the past. But this time, he sees the rift, and this time, he’s going to close it before it’s too late. “Thank you, but this isn’t all on you.” He takes a deep breath, “I’ve been unfair to you guys.”

Levi’s eyebrows raise and Erwin’s sapphire eyes fill with questions, but they don’t interrupt him. “I’ve been taking you guys for granted.” Eren holds his hands up to stop any potential inquiries, “Please, just let me finish.”

He shuts his eyes. “I’m the type of person that expresses myself better through actions.”

Levi gives a little huff at that, and Erwin smiles.

“I’ve never been great at expressing myself verbally. I don’t think about what I’m saying half the time and when I finally do talk, I have a tendency to ramble and shit I’m doing it now-” Eren pouts when he hears his lovers’ laughter.

“The point is- I fuck up my words a lot, but you guys understand what I’m feeling because you’re so great at reading me.”

Levi’s smirk is still on his smug, stupidly handsome face. “You’re an open book, kid.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “Be that as it may,” his tone becomes more serious, “I’m so used to you guys being able to figure out what’s going through my head that I forget I need to just tell you what I’m thinking sometimes.”

He thinks of Jean, who’d been trying to decipher Eren’s feelings for years, hoping to figure out what he missed. He can’t repeat the same mistakes and go through that shit again. They mean too much for him to allow them to slip through his fingers.

“I’ll work on it. I want to grow with you guys.” He blushes, a little shy. “I want to be the type of person you can see yourself with for years to come.”

Levi leans his head on his hand. “Don’t grow up _too_ fast, kid.” Despite his brusque words, his eyes are soft.

“Though we’ll love you just as much in the future.” Erwin adds.

Eren takes a moment to bask in the warm glow of the happiness he feels now. Something inside told him that they’d be okay, that, for once in his life, this happiness would actually last.

“I miss you guys.” He murmurs.

Erwin smiles tenderly. “We miss you too, Eren.”

“Why do you think we’re working our asses off to finish things here?” Levi retorts.

Eren grins. There’s an awkward silence as he deliberates something in his head. Eren figures that he should sign off and let them go to sleep, but he doesn’t want to say goodbye just yet. The looks on Erwin and Levi’s face tell him that they’re thinking the same thing.

Erwin clears his throat. “I think we should go dancing when we get back. I’m curious to see what dancing ‘like that’ means.”

Eren grins wickedly as he and Levi share a look.

Levi purrs, keeping his eyes locked on Eren’s face as he strokes his husband’s thigh. “You’d like it, Erwin. Eren can be a little slut on the dance floor.”

Eren leans forward, expression seductive. “Don’t act like you don’t like it.”

Levi growls huskily. “I wouldn’t dream of it. In fact, I’m thinking about getting a leash made to make sure you don’t stray from us and dance with someone else.”

Eren’s pupils dilate and his voice becomes breathy. “I think I’d like that.”

Levi leans back, dragging his hand further up Erwin’s thigh. “You little shit.” He breathes. Levi’s eyelids lower, but they do nothing to hide the lust in those gunmetal eyes.

Erwin’s voice low baritone comes out as nothing more than a rumble when Levi’s hand starts doing unspeakable things to his groin. “We love you, Eren.”

Eren smiles sweetly. “I love you too.” He smirks, expression teasing. “Have a nice night, you two.”

Levi’s curled himself into Erwin’s side, catlike, as Erwin nods in agreement.

Levi licks his lips briefly, voice dark as sin. “Nicer with you here.”

Eren laughs even as he feels arousal pool in his lower body. “Think of me?”

Erwin’s normally light blue eyes darken to cobalt as he rumbles, “Always.”

Eren wags his fingers playfully before he ends the call. He shuts his laptop and leans back on the bed that doesn’t feel as big as it did this morning.

Exhaustion drags his eyelids down but he forces himself to change his clothes and do his nightly routine. When he crawls back into their bed, he grabs his phone and opens his voicemails. This time, he lets sleep take him as he listens to the sound of their voices- alone, but no longer lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dedicating this chapter to my friend, but the message I tried to convey is applicable to anyone going through heartbreak. I sincerely hope that, for at least some of you, this can serve as a reminder that our first loves do not have to be our last- and certainly not our greatest. 
> 
> Since I'm already being corny as hell, thank you guys SO much for our bookmarks/kudos/subscriptions/follows. Your feedback makes all those times I got weird looks for talking to my computer screen in public worth it. And your comments! I can't even. I swear, I hoard all of them in my inbox and they're staying there forever, compulsive deleting be damned.
> 
> I'm excited about the next chapter, which will be a combination of Days 4 and 5: Persistence and Science. Which means a Sci-Fi AU. Levi's an emotionally-constipated scientist, Erwin is a hot mandroid, and Eren is a very disgruntled research assistant. Genre-wise, it'll be more similar to chapter 2. Possibly stupider, because the playlist I've created is all sappy nonsense. Unfortunately, I'm not sure when I'll finish. I won't be able to write as often a while. Rest assured though that I'm not going on hiatus.
> 
> Regardless of how busy I'll be, I'm always on [tumblr](http://distilldiscussion.tumblr.com) , so feel free to check me out there :) Thank you again for reading.


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